+0

New technologies and ways of buying and selling are transforming the lives of consumers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nowadays, thanks to the development of new technologies and the new ways of shopping and selling are changing the world. In my opinion, it can be affect enormously to the life of people who are the consumers.

In the one hand, there are lots of factors that affecting to the ways people live. Firstly, with brand-new technologies, it is easier to the brands approach to consumers. The television and internet are the best way for advertising their products. The consumers not only the local areas or in the local country, but also the other countries can be seen the advertisement, make it easier to people to buying the products which do not sell in their country. Secondly, there are many websites which suits for online shopping. Their websites decorate colorful with many hot deals, encourage people buying. With these websites, people do not need to go out and shopping, they can sit in their house and wait for their goods, which help to save their time and also economical.

In the other hand, some aspect of lives of consumers which can not be affected by the new technologies. It is undeniable that the importance of market or supermarket can not be changed. People in some rural areas which can not access the internet, so they have to spend their time to buy goods. For example, there are over the half of population living in rural areas in Vietnam can not access the internet, so they open real markets to encourage people selling and buying.

In conclusion, there are some parts of life which can not changed by new tech but in overall, the lives of consumers have effected by the changing of technologies and the ways of trading.

+0

Nowadays, thanks to the development of new technologies and the new ways of shopping and selling are changing the world.

Your first sentence is not structured correctly, so it does not make sense.

Here is a discussion of the phrase structure

[shopping and selling] makes one phrase. Let's call this phrase "C".

It is the object of the preposition "of"

Thanks to the development of new technologies and the new ways of  C ([shopping and selling] ) are changing the world.

Now you have two phrases 1) " the development of new technologies" and 2) "the new ways of C"

Let's call these A and B. Your sentence is diagrammed like this:

Thanks to [ A  and  B  ]  are changing the world.

Do you see the problem? There is no subject for the verb "are changing" and the sentence is all messed up.


In my opinion, it can be affect (be affect is not a correct verb form. "be" is a main verb "affect" is a main verb. YOu cannot use these two verbs together.) enormously to the life of people who are the consumers.

(You already get a bad score because you did not answer the essay prompt.

Here is the question: To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

You must say I agree or "I disagree" and use an adverb of extent. This is a very frequent question for Task 2 essays, so memorize some good adverbs of extent.


In (wrong preposition) the one hand, there are lots of factors that affecting to (wrong verb form) the ways people live. Firstly, First with brand-new technologies, it is easier to the brands approach (That does not make sense.) to consumers. The television and internet are the best way for advertising their products. The consumers not only the local areas (That does not make sense.) or in the local country, but also the other countries can be seen (wrong verb form The passive voice is incorrect The subject is "consumers". ) the advertisement, make it easier to (wrong preposition) people to buying (wrong verb form) the products which do not sell (wrong verb form - you must use the passive voice here.) in their country. Secondly, Second, there are many websites which suits (wrong verb form. The subject is plural, but you used a singular verb form) for online shopping. Their websites decorate colorful (Ungrammatical) with many hot deals, encourage people buying. With these websites, people do not need to go out and shopping, (wrong verb form) they can sit in their house and wait for their goods, which help (wrong verb form) to save their time and also economical. (ungrammatical)

In (wrong preposition) the other hand, some aspect of lives of consumers which can not be affected by the new technologies. (That is not a sentence. It is a noun phrase. Every sentence must have a main clause with a subject and verb.) It is undeniable that the importance of market or supermarket can not be changed. People in some rural areas which can not access the internet, (That is not a main clause. It is a noun phrase. Every main clause must have a subject and verb.) so they have to spend their time to buy goods. For example, there are over the half of population living in rural areas in Vietnam can not access the internet, (That sentence is not properly structured. What is the subject of "can not access"?) so they open real markets to encourage people selling and buying. (wrong verb forms)

In conclusion, there are some parts of life which can not changed by new tech but in overall, the lives of consumers have effected by the changing of technologies and the ways of trading. (You did not answer the essay prompt.)

Your score will not be good. There are three major problems.

1) You did not answer the essay prompt.

2) Most of your sentences were ungrammatical without a proper clause structure.

3) You did not use the right verb forms.


I tried to change your essay into good English. Please study the correct grammar.


Nowadays, thanks to new technologies such as the internet, there are new ways of shopping that are changing the world. I partly (adverb of extent!) agree with this statement as the lives of people who have internet access are dramatically different, but for those who live in remote areas, life goes on as it has in the past.

On the one hand, there are many new services that affect the ways people live. First, with more people having smartphones and internet connections, companies find that it is easier to advertise their brands to consumers. Not only the consumers in local areas, but also those in other countries can see the advertisements, making it possible to convince people to buy products which are not available in their cities. Second, there are many websites which provide online shopping. Their websites are colorful and offer many hot deals, encouraging people to buy. With these websites, people do not need to go out to shop, they can sit in their house and wait for their goods to be delivered. This helps them to save their time and besides, it is also economical.

On the other hand, some consumers are not affected at all by the new technologies. The importance of their local stores or supermarket has not changed. The is because they live in remote areas and can not access the internet, so they have to spend their time buying goods in the local shops. For example, over the half the population living in rural areas in Vietnam can not access the internet, so they use the traditional markets where people are selling and buying.

In conclusion, there are some people whose lives can not changed by new technologies, but overall, the lives of consumers have been significantly impacted by the internet and online shopping.

Comments  

"In the one hand" must be "On the one hand", and "In the other hand" must be "On the other hand".

 AlpheccaStars's reply was promoted to an answer.