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Hey every one !

Could someone help me to correct my writing.. please.

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Once upon a time there is a humble Turkey family located in the eastern providence of the peninsula island of Turkey. The master of the family named Hatim, 50 year old, he is a teacher in High school level and about to retire a few months. He teach a Biology subject for 68 students. Hatim always had a dream that walking around his mind. His dream is to have a blessed life including a pretty wife with four kids. He got what he want after 25 years of marriage. Hatim always proud of his family, and never stop talking about achievements of each one front of his friends.

Salma, Hatim’s wife. A pretty wife with the age of 45 years-old. She is a coordinator of graduate office of a famous University in Istanboul. The oldest son is Salem 20 years-old, Razi 18 years-old, Rana 15 years-old and Raneen 11 years-old. Each one of them has different personality.

Salem is an introverted guy, shy, sensitive and irritable. He is a student in Engineering college. Razi is an extroverted guy, vivacious, and spontaneous. He is in the 3rd level of the high school. Rana is rational girl, conservative, and quite. She is in the 3rd level of Intermediate school. Hanan is a pampered girl, unable to cope with, and stubborn. She is in the seventh level in the primary school.

All thing in Hatim’s marriage life was going perfect, until he received a nagging call from an unknown person. That person was threatened him and told him that something wrong is going on in his life but he never realized and he should be careful and take care of his family, unless he would lose everything perfect he had been built for many years. Hatim was freaked out of what the man said. He was going to ask the man many questions before he hung up but he couldn’t. The man just said the few sentences and gone.
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Hi. I don't want to rewrite it for you, so I am putting some suggestions here for you. I hope this helps.

Your first sentence is not really what the whole essay is about, so I would change it. The essay is not about the family. You change tense several times from present to past and back again to present. You should say Hatim is the head of the family, rather than the master. Some sentences do not have verbs or the verbs are not put into the right form. Look at the last sentence of the first paragraph. There is no verb before proud, and stop is not the right form of the verb. Check for this type of error throughout the essay.

Another thing you can do to improve it is to combine sentences. The first three words of the second paragraph are not a sentence. All the information about Salma should be combined into one sentence. And the information about the three children is not really necessary or relevent. Combine that, too. The oldest son, Salem, is a shy, sensitive, and irritable 20-year-old.

Watch for phrases that should be plural like the beginning of the last paragraph: all things. Also, the part that reads he had been built is not right because it means someone or something built him. You mean he had built.

I didn't want to just fix it for you, so I am offering you this advice. Rewrite it and I will be happy to check it again for you.
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Thank you so much for your advice. Your comments are helpful and now I know my weakness in the writing. I'll rewrite and send you.

Thank you in advance.
This is after correction, Thank you in advance. I really appreciate your help.

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Once upon a time there was a humble Turkey guy located in eastern providence of the peninsula island of Saudi Arabia. The head of the family named Hatim, 50 years old, he was a teacher in High school level and supposed to retire a few months. He taught Biology subject for 68 students. Hatim always had a dream that walking around his mind. His dream was to have a blessed life including a pretty wife with four kids. He got what he wanted after 25 years of marriage. Hatim was always proud of his family, and never stopped talking about achievements of each one front of his friends.



Salma, Hatim’s wife was a pretty wife with the age of 45 years old. She was a coordinator of graduate office of a famous University in Turkey. The oldest son, Salem, was an introverted guy, shy, sensitive and irritable, 20 years old. He was a student in Engineering college. Razi was an extroverted guy, vivacious, and spontaneous, 18 years old. He was in grade 3 in high school. Rana was a rational girl, conservative, and quite, 15 years old. She was in grade 3 in middle school. Hanan was a pampered girl, unable to cope with others, and stubborn, 11 years old. She was in grade 6 in the primary school. Each one of them had different personalities.



All things in Hatim’s marriage life was going perfect, until he received a nagging call from an unknown person. That person threatened him and told him that something wrong was going on in his life but he never realized and he should have been careful and have taken care of his family, unless he would lose everything perfect he had built for many years. Hatim was freaked out of what the man said. He was going to ask the man many questions before he hung up but he couldn’t. The man just said a few sentences and disappeared.