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“The Scarlet Ibis”

The short story “The Scarlet Ibis” by James Hurst is about an older brother, the narrator who has a younger brother that might not be really “all there”. The narrator from the beginning dislikes Doodle because Doodle is born as an invalid brother. So the narrator decides to push his younger brother, Doodle so he would be able to do normal kid activities. His embarrassment at having an invalid brother made the narrator push Doodle to the extreme limit which will lead to Doodle’s death. Throughout the story, the narrator is responsible for the outcome of the story.

The narrator is mainly responsible for Doodle’s death. “It was bad… having an invalid brother… so I began to make plans to kill him by smothering him with a pillow” (pg. 416). The older brother’s bad intentions for Doodle are revealed early in the story by the quote. The narrator simply cannot handle the fact that his brother is an invalid. Thus, he wants to kill off his crippled brother. “He was a burden in many ways… A long list of don’ts went with him, all of which I ignored once we got out of the house” (pg. 417). The quote shows that the narrator simply did not care much for Doodle’s wellbeing. This supports the fact that the speaker can and will do things that will lead to Doodle’s death. “One day I took him up to the barn… and showed him his casket… ‘And before I’ll help you down from the loft, you’re going to have to touch it.’… ‘Don’t leave me, Brother,’ he cried, and… he touched the casket he screamed” (pg. 418). The older brother, the narrator, simply wants to force Doodle to touch the coffin that was meant for Doodle to be placed in. This shows the cruelty of the narrator because he forces Doodle to recognize what death means. These small acts of dislike and loathing by the older brother will eventually lead to a bigger, major event--the death of Doodle.

The narrator’s embarrassment of having an invalid brother is the reason why the narrator pushes Doodle to do activities that will lead to Doodle’s death. “I was embarrassed at having a brother at that age who couldn’t walk, so I set out to teach him… I heaved him up… he collapsed… and I heaved him up once more” (Daniel 346-347). The narrator feels ashamed about having a brother that can not walk, and so he started pushing Doodle to learn how to walk. Even though Doodle is in no condition to do this, the narrator ignores this and continues to push Doodle to the extreme. “School only a few weeks away… I made him swim until he turned blue and row until he couldn’t lift an oar” (Daniel 350). The quote shows that the narrator does not want to be ashamed of having a crippled brother so he is pushing Doodle past his limit. "I purposely walked fast … his face turned red and his eyes became glazed … he collapsed … and began to cry" (Daniel 350). Clearly seen from the quote is that the narrator shows cruelty to his brother by purposely pushing his brother to his limit. The narrator does this for his own selfish reason. He only is doing this so that when school starts, he will not be humiliated by having a crippled brother. Because of his lack of care toward Doodle, the narrator is at fault for Doodle’s death.

The narrator does not care much for Doodle’s wellbeing. “The faster I walked, the faster he walked, so I began to run … Doodle … had fallen behind, cry out, ‘Brother, Brother, don’t leave me! Don’t leave me” (pg. 425)! The quote shows that Doodle has been pushed to an extreme, and that it is the older brother’s fault for making Doodle work so hard that his body failed. “The knowledge that Doodle’s and my plans had come to naught was bitter, and that streak of cruelty within me awakened” (pg. 425). The cruelty toward Doodle had long existed in the narrator, and he decided to express it by leaving Doodle far behind. “I ran as fast as I could, leaving him far behind with a wall of rain dividing us … Soon I could hear his voice no more” (pg. 425). The quote shows that the narrator took off and abandoned poor Doodle to fend off for himself. Because of the total lack of tender love and care for his crippled brother, Doodle, the narrator is to be at fault for Doodle’s death.

When finished with the story, the reader can see that the narrator is indeed responsible for the death of Doodle. Because the narrator was the older brother, he had the responsibility of watching and taking care of Doodle. However, the narrator was too blinded by the humiliation and shame of having a crippled little brother that he forgot the fact that Doodle was fragile and must be treated with care. The narrator kept on pushing Doodle further, regardless of Doodle's endangered health. This lack of care and love is why the narrator is responsible for the outcome of the story. A lesson to be drawn from this story is never to let one’s expectations eclipse the love and care for others. Always realize what others are capable of doing and their limits, but never force someone to go far beyond, for it is their decision.

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here is what it is base on:

Thesis - 1 sentence that explains the point you are trying to prove
trying to prove
always a statement
always arguable
always provable
always the last sentence of your intro paragraph
5 ¶ Essay Format
¶1 = Intro
Thesis = last sentence
¶2-4 = Support ¶ (must include at least 3 examples) = Topic Sentence = 1st sentence of ¶
states a reason why your thesis is true
- 3 Examples that support topic sentence
¶5 = Conclusion

Outline Format: Thesis
= 1st Topic Sentence
- Example
- Example
- Example
= 2nd Topic Sentence
- Example
- Example
- Example
= 3rd Topic Sentence
- Example
- Example
- Example

-2s = no personal pronouns
no contractions (no don't, use do not)
Proper quoting format
Correct title format, italicized, not underlined
Should (don't use of - use have)
that/who
The man that (should be who substituted in for that) gave me an apple was nice.

Essay: Typed
12 point font
Normal font
1 " margins
Pages #s (bottom center)
Double spaced

Introduction: Introduce topic
any background info
-topic
-texts = must mention title & author first time
Correct intro ideas to thesis

Support ¶
1st sentence: Topic sentence (reason your thesis is true)
Chunks (should be 3) = explaining example
"quote" - demonstrates what you just said
explains how this example supports topic sentence
Wrap-up sentence

Conclusion: So what?
Why this is important
What are the next steps
1 2 3
Hi Phu,

Welcome to English Forums. The English of your essay flows relatively smoothly and naturally. The main problem-- and it is a big one-- is the inordinate amount of repetition and redundancy you have included. There is so much, that I cannot really comment on the overall structure of the essay until you have thinned it out mercilessly.

I will take your first paragraph and show you what you need to do with the whole piece. Your original--

'The short story “The Scarlet Ibis” by James Hurst is about an older brother, the narrator who has a younger brother that might not be really “all there”. The narrator from the beginning dislikes Doodle because Doodle is born as an invalid brother. So the narrator decides to push his younger brother, Doodle so he would be able to do normal kid activities. His embarrassment at having an invalid brother made the narrator push Doodle to the extreme limit which will lead to Doodle’s death. Throughout the story, the narrator is responsible for the outcome of the story.'

--should look something like this:

'The short story, 'The Scarlet Ibis', by James Hurst, is about an older brother, the narrator, whose younger brother is not 'all there'. From the beginning, the narrator is embarassed by Doodle because he is an invalid, so he decides to push him to engage in normal activities, and this leads to Doodle’s death.'

You should re-post when you have carved all the padding off your bird essay.
k, so what should i do to trim it down?
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
(1) Always write 'OK' or 'okay'-- while remembering that is is very informal and not to be used in essays. Always capitalize the first person singular pronoun 'I'. If you do not write correct English in your posts here, you will have little luck writing an acceptable essay.

(2) Read what I said and look at what I did in my first answer: 'I will take your first paragraph and show you what you need to do with the whole piece;... re-post when you have carved all the padding off. The main problem... is the inordinate amount of repetition and redundancy you have included.'
Ok, so for the repetition. What should I do to carve down the repetition and redundancy? In other words how to should i not do repetition on my essay? Have any of u read the “The Scarlet Ibis”? To understand the true meaning of the story?

Can someone redo another paragraph to show me the way to redo my essay? (without repititon).

please help.
Maybe someone can give me direct help like (chatting). I can do English forums chat or I can do AIM.

Thanks..
Students: We have free audio pronunciation exercises.
phu53,

I am not familiar with your story. However, I concur with Mister Micawber's assessment.

Let's look at another paragraph.
The narrator’s embarrassment of having an invalid brother is the reason why the narrator pushes Doodle to do activities that will lead to Doodle’s death. “I was embarrassed at having a brother at that age who couldn’t walk, so I set out to teach him… I heaved him up… he collapsed… and I heaved him up once more” (Daniel 346-347). The narrator feels ashamed about having a brother that can not walk, and so he started pushing Doodle to learn how to walk. Even though Doodle is in no condition to do this, the narrator ignores this and continues to push Doodle to the extreme. “School only a few weeks away… I made him swim until he turned blue and row until he couldn’t lift an oar” (Daniel 350). The quote shows that the narrator does not want to be ashamed of having a crippled brother so he is pushing Doodle past his limit. "I purposely walked fast … his face turned red and his eyes became glazed … he collapsed … and began to cry" (Daniel 350). Clearly seen from the quote is that the narrator shows cruelty to his brother by purposely pushing his brother to his limit. The narrator does this for his own selfish reason. He only is doing this so that when school starts, he will not be humiliated by having a crippled brother. Because of his lack of care toward Doodle, the narrator is at fault for Doodle’s death.


How many times do we learn that the narrator is embarrassed?

1) The narrator’s embarrassment of having an invalid brother

2) I was embarrassed at having a brother

3) The narrator feels ashamed about having a brother

4) The quote shows that the narrator does not want to be ashamed

5) he will not be humiliated by having a crippled brother

That seems like overkill. You need to be more effective in making your points. When you repeat the same point over and over, you tire your reader.

Does this help you to see the problem better?

MountainHiker
Yes it does!! Thank you, but I am still confuse of what I should do to take out repetition. Because since the reason is:

The narrator’s embarrassment of having an invalid brother is the reason why the narrator pushes Doodle to do activities that will lead to Doodle’s death.

So then I thought I should revolve my paragraph about the narrator's embarrassment and his invalid brother.

I have problem with writing in english because this is my second language.Emotion: sad Emotion: sad

Or I can chat with someone to further help me on my essay.

http://www.EnglishForward.com/chat /

Just tell me when.
phu53,

I don't think your problem here is that English is a second language. No matter which language you used, if you repeated yourself over and over, you would tire your reader.

State you central theme or premise (narrator embarrassed with brother). Then give several examples. Conclude by either restating the theme or premise or summarize some important point of how the embassassment made a signficant change.

MountainHiker
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