Dear Sir or Madam,

My name is Galina Hristova and presently I am living in Bulgaria. I have always wanted to get international communication experience and to get know different countries with their unique traditions, culture, customs and historical heritage. I am quite sure that becoming acquainted with another culture and living in a different social environment would broadened my mind and would made me much more independent and capable to face and deal with various issues and challenges. I have sustained a clear vision of my future studies and I would like to gain a solid knowledge of cross-cultural and intercultural issues and strategies.

I am currently employed in the Bulgarian partner of AIMS Human Capital International in a very promising position, where I am facing the challenge for continuous intensive knowledge and skills enhancement in HR field. Furthermore, I have been given an exiting opportunity to meet the world of the international corporate business and now I am enjoying a thorough HR learning and an access to vast resources. This exposure to international business standards and practices has intensified my desire to pursue my undergraduate degree abroad. Although, I have completed my first semester in Geography and Biology at Sofia University “St. Kliment Ohridski”, still I feel an empty place in my life. Therefore, I realized that I should change the scope of my Bachelor degree. Regarding my primary goal to earn a sufficient knowledge in the international business field, I am quite sure that I have made the right decision to obtain my higher education in an international environment.

My interest in the international management has risen, since I was working at my previous job in McDonald’s Bulgaria as a manger. The position granted me with various opportunities to derive the core skills, needed in the business field .During the working process I was involved in many puzzling situations, where critical thinking, sound decision-making and fast reaction were crucial to solve the problems. My colleagues consistently placed me in a leadership position, and I had a reputation for performing well beyond what was expected.

I am truly convinced that during my current and previous job I have obtained utmost skills, which will contribute to the success of my further education in an international environment.My vision for the future is related to my ambition for getting a qualitative knowledge and becoming a professional in the field I would like to build up career. Giving me the opportunity to attend to your university, will be a great advantage for my career path and maturation.

One of the significant reasons for my choice to study abroad is the quality of the education provided by the European universities. I am convinced that their prestigious reputation will help me in my quest for excellence in the field of international management. I believe that studying in your university will enable me to develop the right professional skills and to get the most appropriate knowledge needed for becoming a successful and prosperous person.Quite honestly, I should mention that I was impressed by the attractive business climate with high standards in education and research in an international perspective that your country provide. I think that the features of your educational system such as active study environments, the interdisciplinary studies and the project-based activities, which unfortunately are not features of the Bulgarian educational system, will prepare me for facing the challenges of international career. Therefore, I made my crucial choice to study in your country where the provocative way of thinking is encouraged and the modern teaching methods take place.

Thank you for taking the time to consider my application. I hope that you will be persuaded of my potential to perform well on this study program and I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,

Galina Hristova.
Galina, overall you have a very good grasp of English, but it gets a little muddy... I think you may have tried to use as many long words as you could and it bogs down. You start out by talking about international communications, but then move to international business. Also, you don't start out by saying what you are applying for. "I am applying to... because...." would make sense as your second sentence. I wouldn't really associate managing a McDonalds with gaining a grasp on international business.

I'd like to suggest you go back and try to "tone down" this letter. Use smaller words and smaller sentences. You are applying for admission to an undergraduate program, not to be CEO of GE.

Dear Sir or Madam,

My name is Galina Hristova and presently I live in Bulgaria. I have always wanted to gain international communications experience and to get know different countries with their unique traditions, culture, customs and historical heritage. I am quite sure that becoming acquainted with another culture and living in a different social environment will broadened my mind and would made me much more independent and capable of facing to face and deal with various issues and challenges. I have sustained a clear vision of my future studies and I would like to gain a solid knowledge of cross-cultural and intercultural issues and strategies.

I am currently work for the Bulgarian office of AIMS Human Capital International in a very promising position in which I have the opportunity to enhance my , where I am facing the challenge for continuous intensive knowledge and skills enhancement in the HR field. Furthermore, I have been given an exiting opportunity to meet the world of the international corporate business and now I am enjoying a thorough HR education and an access to vast resources. This exposure to international business standards and practices has intensified my desire to pursue my undergraduate degree abroad. Although, I have completed my first semester in Geography and Biology at Sofia University “St. Kliment Ohridski”, still I feel an empty place in my life. Therefore, I realized that I should change the scope of my Bachelor degree. Regarding my primary goal to earn a sufficient knowledge in the international business field, I am quite sure that I have made the right decision to obtain my higher education in an international environment.

I stopped reading here.

My interest in the international management has risen, since I was working at my previous job in McDonald’s Bulgaria as a manger. The position granted me with various opportunities to derive the core skills, needed in the business field .During the working process I was involved in many puzzling situations, where critical thinking, sound decision-making and fast reaction were crucial to solve the problems. My colleagues consistently placed me in a leadership position, and I had a reputation for performing well beyond what was expected.

I am truly convinced that during my current and previous job I have obtained utmost skills, which will contribute to the success of my further education in an international environment.My vision for the future is related to my ambition for getting a qualitative knowledge and becoming a professional in the field I would like to build up career. Giving me the opportunity to attend to your university, will be a great advantage for my career path and maturation.

One of the significant reasons for my choice to study abroad is the quality of the education provided by the European universities. I am convinced that their prestigious reputation will help me in my quest for excellence in the field of international management. I believe that studying in your university will enable me to develop the right professional skills and to get the most appropriate knowledge needed for becoming a successful and prosperous person.Quite honestly, I should mention that I was impressed by the attractive business climate with high standards in education and research in an international perspective that your country provide. I think that the features of your educational system such as active study environments, the interdisciplinary studies and the project-based activities, which unfortunately are not features of the Bulgarian educational system, will prepare me for facing the challenges of international career. Therefore, I made my crucial choice to study in your country where the provocative way of thinking is encouraged and the modern teaching methods take place.

Thank you for taking the time to consider my application. I hope that you will be persuaded of my potential to perform well on this study program and I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,

Galina Hristova.
Thanks for your suggestions and corrections Grammar GeekEmotion: smile I will try to tone it down

Wish u a happy and smiling day

Galia