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I am practicing to pass IELTS exam and i wrote many kinds of letters but i need someone a native english speaker to check the first topic is a complaining letter
Dear Sir,
I am writing to you to complain about a mobile phone i bought recently from your stores but unfortunately it didnt work properly .

Two days ago i bought from your store a mobile phone ,actually it was good looking and it had all accessories needed, so i liked it and decided to buy . I paid 200 dollars for it , but when i got back home and tried to turn it on , the mobile stuck on the logo sign for about two minutes and it turned off by it self .

I was surprised to see my new mobile phone with those software problems .So for this reason i contacted your company customer service and asked them to replace it but they refused .

So i would like that you could find a solution for me because i think this is your store's fault and i insist to replace it with another or to give me back a full refund .

looking forward to hearing from you

yours faithfully ,
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Comments  (Page 2) 
OK Elijah;

On a scale of 1-9, I give a 5 because of the capitalization and punctuation errors which persist. I highlighted the errors, and fixed the first one. Please study your lessons on capitalization and punctuation.

Dear Sir,
I am writing to you to complain about a mobile phone I bought recently from your store which didn't work properly .

Two days ago i bought from your store a mobile phone ,Actually it was good looking and it had all accessories i needed, so i liked it and decided to buy it . I paid 200 dollars for it , but when i got back home and tried to turn it on , the mobile just displayed the logo sign for about two minutes and it turned it self (one word) off.
Oh my God, I even didn't give attention for this . Emotion: sad You know you gave me a right mark ,because when I passed IELTS exam first time, I've got 5.5 in writing section . Actually I knew right now why I got such a low mark . Thank you indeed you really helped me . I will write another letters, and maybe you can check them for me later if you have enough time .
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