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I am practicing to pass IELTS exam and i wrote many kinds of letters but i need someone a native english speaker to check the first topic is a complaining letter
Dear Sir,
I am writing to you to complain about a mobile phone i bought recently from your stores but unfortunately it didnt work properly .

Two days ago i bought from your store a mobile phone ,actually it was good looking and it had all accessories needed, so i liked it and decided to buy . I paid 200 dollars for it , but when i got back home and tried to turn it on , the mobile stuck on the logo sign for about two minutes and it turned off by it self .

I was surprised to see my new mobile phone with those software problems .So for this reason i contacted your company customer service and asked them to replace it but they refused .

So i would like that you could find a solution for me because i think this is your store's fault and i insist to replace it with another or to give me back a full refund .

looking forward to hearing from you

yours faithfully ,
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I am practicing to pass IELTS exam and i wrote many kinds of letters but i need someone a native english speaker to check it
Dear Sir ,
I am writing to you to inquire some information about college's scholarship .
I am a recent school graduated student and i decided to apply to your college , but when i asked my dad for a financial support he told me that he cant afford to give me . So i decided to write you because i saw an announcement says that the college accept recent graduated students with high marks to apply for college scholarships .

So i would like to obtain some information about :
1- The required documents to apply'
2- the minimum marks needed to apply
3- If there will be another financial support for those who face problem with money .

At last , i wish you could help me to apply for your college or find for me a way to make me apply , because it was always a dream for me to apply to your college .

you could send me the information i required above to my email or to fax here is my email........ and fax ........

looking forward to hearing from you

yours faithfully,
Please check your capitalization and other punctuation. I will not mark these careless errors Why should you expect a kind volunteer to take the time and effort to correct your laziness in not pressing the Shift key?

Dear Sir ,
I am writing to you to inquire request some information about your college's scholarships .
I am a recent school graduated student and i decided to apply to your college , but when i asked my dad for a financial support he told me that he cant afford it to give me . So i decided to write you because i saw an announcement which said says that the college accepts recent graduated students with high marks to apply for college scholarships .

So i would like to obtain some information about :
1- The required application forms documents to apply'
2- the minimum marks needed to apply
3- If there will be other possibilities for another financial support for those who face problem with money .

At last , i wish you could help me to apply to for your college or find for me a way to financial aid make me apply , because it was always a dream for me to attend apply to your college .

you Could you send me the information i required above to my email or to fax? here is my email........ and fax ........

looking forward to hearing from you

yours faithfully,
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
See my previous comment about capitalization.

Dear Sir,
I am writing to you to complain about a mobile phone i bought recently from your store which but unfortunately it didnt work properly .

Two days ago i bought from your store a mobile phone. Actually it was good looking and it had all accessories I needed, so i liked it and decided to buy it. I paid 200 dollars for it , but when i got back home and tried to turn it on , the mobilejust displayed stuck on the logo sign for about two minutes and it turned off by itself off..

I was surprised to see my new mobile phone with those software problems .So for this reason i contacted your company's customer service and asked them to replace it but they refused .

So i would like that am asking if you could find a solution for me because i think this is your store's fault and i insist that you either to replace it with another or to give me back a full refund .

looking forward to hearing from you

yours faithfully ,
Thank you very much i know that i should give more attention to capitalization and punctuation but really i face problem sometimes to use them but this thing i can improve to by myself . But i want to thank you so much for help and to take a time to check my letters Emotion: smile) but tell me frankly do you think my letters are good ? and which mark you can give me from 1-9 ?? please tell me frankly because i know i need more to practice but i want to know if i have any progress . Actually i passed IELTS exam but i didnt obtain the mark i need so i want you to give me a mark to know if i got better since that time i have passed the exam Emotion: smile)
Hello Elijah Qassar. Welcome to English Forums.
You have received some very good advice and corrections from one of the best experts we have.

AlpheccaStars is a volunteer, and she comes here to share her knowledge.

As a sign of respect, I ask that you take the time - starting right now - and "give more attention to capitalization and punctuation."
Students: We have free audio pronunciation exercises.
Hi Elijah;

I am really amazed that you passed the IELTS test without knowing that in English the first person pronoun is always written with a capital letter. You have used it 13 times in your post without capitalizing it even once.
Also, if you have studied contractions, you should know that there is an apostrophe in place of the missing letters.

When you post here, post your very best efforts. It will encourage the volunteer teachers and give you a good habit towards perfect English.

Regards,
A-Emotion: stars
Hello, I am so sorry but i will tell you frankly i don't know how to put punctuation in the right place . But i will do all my best to learn it . Thank you indeed Emotion: smile
I am so sorry , i will try to write with capital letters and punctuation . I will retype the letters with capitalization and punctuation . But could you please give me a mark from 9 , because i want to see if i have any progress since i have started to study letters writing or not .

Dear Sir,
I am writing to you to complain about a mobile phone i bought recently from your store which didn't work properly .

Two days ago i bought from your store a mobile phone ,Actually it was good looking and it had all accessories i needed, so i liked it and decided to buy it . I paid 200 dollars for it , but when i got back home and tried to turn it on , the mobile just displayed the logo sign for about two minutes and it turned it self off.

I was surprised to see my new mobile phone with those software problems .So i contacted your company's customer service and asked them to replace it but they refused .

So i am asking if you could find a solution for me because i think this is your store's fault and i insist that you either replace it with another one or give me back a full refund .

Looking forward to hearing from you

Yours faithfully ,

The second letter .

Dear Sir ,
I am writing to you to require some information about your college's scholarship .
I am a recent graduated, and i decided to apply to your college , but when i asked my dad for financial support, he told me that he can't afford it . So i decided to write you because i saw an announcement which said that the college accepts students with high marks to apply for college scholarships .

So i would like to obtain some information about :
1- The required application forms.
2- the minimum marks needed to apply .
3- If there will be another possibilities for financial support .

At last , i wish you could help me apply to your college or find a way to financial aid , because it was always a dream for me to attend to your college .

Could you send me the information i required above to my email or fax? here is my e-mail........ fax ........

Looking forward to hearing from you

Yours faithfully,
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