I was wondering if someone would be able to proof read my short essay that is due on Monday. Any help would be appreciated. I am pretty condifent about the words I have chosen, but I have a difficult time with punctuations. The requirements were 1 page summary essay with 3 sentences for the opening/closing and 2 body paragraphs. Thanks any help would be appreciated. Peace~

In “The Bridge Builder: Kathleen Boatwright,” Eric Marcus tells an illuminating story of one woman’s journey of self-discovery. Marcus introduces Boatwright as a Christian, social activist, mother and ***. Boatwright reveals that as an activist and through faith, she is able to educate Americans about homosexuality and the social injustices that accompany many gays and lesbians in America.
Boatwright had the All-American family in the eyes of her church and community. After four children and twenty years of marriage to a man, Boatwright found herself falling in love with a woman named Jean, whom she met at church. Boatwright was torn between her faith and her intimate feelings for Jean. Boatwright’s decision to declare herself a *** was not received well by her family, church or community. Boatwright has relied on her faith to speak out against the discrimination of homosexuals in America.
Boatwright’s decision to leave her marriage had its consequences. Her family and church disowned her and she paid the ultimate price by loosing parental custody of her children. Boatwright and Jean decided to move to Colorado. Colorado proved to be a good decision for Boatwright. She was able to find acceptance and support through a local Episcopal church. The church gave her the inner strength to become an activist for the homosexual community. Boatwright believes that she is a good spokesperson for the *** community because of her personal experiences. Boatwright’s courage and outspoken nature gives hope to all Americans who have been wrongfully judged because of their sexual orientation.
Boatwright’s passion for truth and reconciliation in her life is an inspiration to homosexuals in America. Boatwright has first hand experiences regarding the discriminations against homosexuals in America. Boatwright feels that tolerance and understanding is the key in building bridges between the gender issues that divide America.
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Thank You, I went to check the board, but I don't see my post any longer. I wonder why that is? Anyways if anyone else has any opinions I welcome them with open arms... Thanks Again, this site is wonderful.
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check mine ... PLEASE !!


Hero’s journey Essay
By: Ashley Gaines

Period 5

People change after time. You are different than you were a year or two ago. You change as you grow up or move on. In the movie, Titanic, Rose was a stuck up brat who cared about no one but herself. When she was outside getting ready to board the ship, she thought to her self and knew this ship was going to be like a prison. Later on, Rose meets Jack and he shows her a world she has never seen. Rose and Jack fall in love. When Rose returns to society, and she saw the statue of Liberty she was a whole new person.
In the movie Titanic, Rose was a girl who always had to have the best, everything had to be perfect for her. She was standing outside looking at the ship, she just thought to herself how she was going into a prison. Rose felt like she had no control over her life. She went on the ship pretty much thinking she was like a slave, having to do everything her fiancé and mother wanted. She was always feeling ostracized about whom she was around, even though she was high class and belonged with them, she felt like she didn’t at the same time. Rose was fed up with dealing with everyone, telling her what to do. Rose thought that if she died no one would care, so she decided she was going to jump off the ship onto the below freezing water. This is when Rose met Jack. She was on the other side of the ship and was leaning over when, Jack walked over and was telling her no to. She told him to leave or she will jump. He said he couldn’t leave, now because he was already involved. Jack finally convinced Rose not to jump so when Rose was climbing back over the rails, she slipped. Jack was holding onto her by one hand Rose was by this time screaming her brains out. By them working together they pulled her back over the rails. This is when her bodyguard came over and thought that he was raping her. The cop handcuffed him and was going to arrest him, when Rose said no he saved my life. Rose lied, because she didn’t want anyone to know that she was going to jump. So she lied and said that she was looking at the stars. At that time the cop (bodyguard) knew cause he was already questioning. This is when the journey of Rose begins.
Rose’s fiancé invited him for dinner that night, Jack was very nervous, he didn’t know anyone, or anything about anyone. So Rose started to find something in Jack, when she knew how he must feel being around these people. She found it very appealing that even though he was nervous he never showed it, not once. Rose, Jack her fiancé, and about ten to fifteen other people were sitting at the table when, all the men went to smoke. This is when Jack said he had to leave. As he was leaving he thanked everyone for letting him join, he kissed her hand while leaving a note in her hand. The note said, “ If you are ready for a good time meet me at the clock.” So after reading it Rose told her mother she was leaving, she met Jack at the clock. So they went to a party down where Jacks 3rd class friends were. Rose said that it was the funniest thing she has ever done before cause she never did anything but, go to parties with her mother who was stricter about everything. When her fiancé found out he was furious, in which he began to give her a guilt trip. Rose was kind of smart mouthing him, when he was getting mad. He freaked out and flipped the table over; this was after he smacked her across the face. Rose was astonished by his behavior. This is when Rose kind of separated from her fiancé. This is when Roses mother was outraged and strictly told her she was not aloud to see him anymore. Rose was just saying, " Mother, I’m not a child i make my own choices!" Roses mother reminded Rose of everything her father did to them, and how this is the only chance she has to put them in a better place. Jack came, to talk to Rose; this is when she told him she is no longer aloud to see him. He told her the same thing, as before that he was already involved. He and her both knew it was just a reason to keep her around and it didn’t work this time. She left him there in this room on her side of this ship to think about how he just lost the best thing of his life. Rose left with her fiancé and thought, thought, and thought about what she had done. She realized that she is throwing away something she loved and if she lost was not going to come back. This is when she found more of herself. She did not want to be the person who was a perfect sit around the housewife she wanted to see life beyond the walls that he required. Jack was a professional drawer and she wanted him to draw her with nothing on but a necklace, this necklace was called the heart of the ocean. After this she went with jack that night. They did the hanky panky, when they came out from running from the cop, is when the ship hit the iceberg. All the captains and people who were in charge of the ship from this moment on knew that, the ship they thought was unsinkable was going to sink. The cop caught Rose eventually, they claimed Jack had stolen the necklace the fiancé had bought her. They slipped it into his pocket sneaking it so no knew. They threw him in jail. By this time almost half of the ship had sunk. He was lower down so he was going to go down too, if no one saved him. He was scared but he knew he had lived a life that was a success to him. Rose was franticly looking for him everywhere. She found him and chopped him loose with an ax. They went and helped the lower class get up so they could get on the boats. People were everywhere screaming, yelling and freaking out everywhere. Jack and her fiancé wanted her to get on a ship, so she did. Then again when she realized that she was doing something to jeopardize ever seeing Jack again she jumped off the boat back into the ship. Half the ship had already sunk. Jack and Rose got on the very top of the ship so when it sank they would go down last. The ship sank and people were everywhere, people were trying to sit on other people to keep afloat. Jack and Rose found a door that they both tried to lay on but could not seem to stay on so, Jack let her lay on it instead. He lay afloat in the water with his head on the door, while holding Roses hand. The whole time Jack knew he was going to die, Rose didn’t know this until jack started saying him goodbyes, then she knew. He told her to grow old and love like she had never been hurt, he also said to never let go of him keep him forever. Rose fell asleep and woke to the sound of whistles blowing; the whistles were people in boats looking for more people to save. By this time Jack had dead. Rose started saying, “Jack, jack wake up please, Jack!” She realized he was dead. She cried but knew she had to go other wise she was not going to live herself. She sat there for a second with a Wisk weary voice. It was so cold it had frozen her voice so she could not talk loud. She said, “I love you Jack I will never let go I promise.” That she meant. She remembered that there was a guy in the water that had a whistle, she jumped in the water, and she took the whistle and started blowing on it. The people in the boat turned around, they pulled her out of the water. They saved her. This is the Start of when she became a whole new person.
Rose came to the united states and right when she saw the statue of liberty that is when she was a whole new person. Her old fiancé came down, to the lower class people this was the last time she ever saw him again. She became an old lady and never told anyone about the titanic. Until she saw the people that were looking for the heart of the ocean, which Rose still had it with her. The night that she went and told everyone the story of the Titanic she dropped the heart of the ocean in the ocean. That was when their search for it was over.
This is how Rose had changed for being a stuck up person who didn’t care about anyone but herself to someone who cared. She had changed completely from whom she was; to who she is was that day that she saw the statue of liberty after Jack died. Rose completely changed through out time. This shows that, Rose and the hero's journey are alike cause they both changed, and made everything different from what it was.

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1. You need to change the format.2.You lack paragraph unity.3.You should reference when you write a title or quote someone.4.In the conclusion you should summerize your entire paper.
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