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Emotion: big smileI would appreciate it if you could offer me some comments and correct it, or find out my grammatic mistakes.A million thanks to you . The title is

Write an essay in English (no longer than 1000 words) about yourself, your family, your inspirations, aspirations, likes, and dislikes.

Here is my essay:

When does one first begin to remember? When do the waving lights and shadows of dawning consciousness cast their print upon the mind of a child? My earliest memory was when I was a 3 years old child, undergoing life with nothing but funs. During that duration until now, I changed a lot, from a child to an adolescent, who is currently 16 years old, studying in the only Chinese Secondary School in the idyllic town of Parit Buntar, in Kerian district, Perak.

I could begin the book of my life with a picture of my family. They are important because they help me a lot in my developments. In addition, daunting challenges in the many adventures one completes and life itself would be all too hard to endure without the assistance of family. Albeit I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth, but I still can lead a great life, with my beloved family. My father is a 51 years old businessman, while my mother is a teacher, who never hesitates in helping me whenever I encounter any problem. Part of my achievements such as becoming the best student in standard 6 and scoring 8As in last year PMR, are no doubt can be attributed to the proper guidance of my family. On certain occasions when they are pushing me too hard, I get mad, but later appreciate their words of wisdom, because, they are anyway my family, who want the best from me. My parents, and my only little brother, are wonderful.

“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles.” This quotation forms the closing lines of Ralph Waldo Emerson’s “Self-Reliance”. I am greatly enlightened and inspired by his ideas of the article. “Trust thyself” was his advice and many people listened. I, after reading the ideas expressed in “Self-Reliance”, have come to believe that self-reliance is the most important factor in my life. Yet another quotation that inspired me is “dreams can be fulfilled with 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration”, which used to say by Thomas Edison. I live every day with this constant reminder written on my table, reminding me that I have to be hardworking as there is no royal road to success.

To my opinion, I, being a student, my first priority is study while there others are of secondary important. I can always have fun later, when I am earning. I understand reasonably well that nowadays, education is the only way to success, the only way to escape poverty. Therefore, I arm with concrete determination with an unprecedented perseverance, to commit myself with relentless pursuit of excellence. Presently, my goals are scoring 12A1 in next year SPM, and obtain a scholarship to study abroad. Nanyang University of Singapore (NUS), one of the best universities in the world, is my first choice, and I aspire to be an engineer. My relatives, often persuading me to become a doctor throughout my childhood and adolescence, however, I do not want to be. I realized that my goals and dreams cannot be set based on others, but on the contrary, it is my choice and, if I live my life for the people around, I will never be truly happy.

For your information, one of the most delightful and enjoyable event of my life is scouting. I, being a senior scout, who has been participating actively in scout activities and underwent various stringent trainings, succeeded in developing a sense of personal responsibilities and stimulating the desire for responsible self-expression. Scouting, for me, is a code of living; it is also, a commitment to seek the spiritual value of my life beyond the material world.

Reading, is also, one of my favorites. I began indulging myself in reading since mom told me 3 years ago “he who does not read is as bad as he who cannot read”. Since then, the benefits and of readings has always been etched in my mind. To me, reading, perhaps, is the most important tool in all academic advancement. It is essential requirement for achieving skills in our occupations, professions and duties. Hundreds of Ringgit has been spent by me in buying helpful and interesting books such as “The Da Vinci Code”, “How to Win friends and influence people”, “Digital Fortress”, “Think like a Billionaire”, “My Early Life” (by Winston Churchill) and more. I believe, my money was spent rightly, as reading is the key to success.

Making friends with people who are materialistic and individualistic has always been something irritating to me, and there is no denying that it is also, the fault of the invention and advent of the item “money”. The insatiable appetite of men in their relentless pursuit of monetary gain, has led them to assume wrongfully money as the singularity most important item, that well above just anything. To them, money is everything, without money, one is nothing. This kind of people can easily be found in our motherland, Malaysia.

“A person is nothing without dreams”. Now, I am still small yet insignificant in many ways and have not broken free from cocoon. The only thing I can hold on into are the dreams which have I stated above. However, the dreams could be altered, as the “I” inside myself is changing everyday, every hour, every second, every moment, and the most important of all for me is as long as I can look back on my life and agree with myself what I did, I will be contented no matter what the achievements I have, as my favourite saying goes “the most delightful and enjoyable part of a journey is not the destination, but the journey itself”.
Comments  
When does one first begin to remember? When do the waving lights and shadows of dawning consciousness cast their print upon the mind of a child? My earliest memory was when I was a 3 year old child, undergoing (unusual word to use) life with nothing but fun. During that time until now, I have changed a lot, from a child to an adolescent who is now 16 years old, studying in the only Chinese Secondary School in the idyllic town of Parit Buntar, in Kerian district, Perak.

Perhaps someone else will look at the next paragraph for you.
It is a lot of work to ask someone to correct the whole lot for you.
I suggest you will get a better response if you post one or two paragraphs at a time.
Hi,

I could begin the book of my life with a picture of my family. They are important because they help me a lot in my developments. In addition, daunting challenges in the many adventures one completes and life itself would be all too hard to endure without the assistance of family. Albeit I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth, I still can lead a great life, with my beloved family. My father is a 51 year-old businessman, while my mother is a teacher who never hesitates to hepl me whenever I encounter any problem. Some of my achievements, such as becoming the best student in standard 6 and scoring 8 As in last year's PMR, no doubt can be attributed to the proper guidance of my family. On certain occasions when they are pushing me too hard, I get mad, but later I appreciate their words of wisdom because they are anyway my family, who want the best from me. My parents, and my only little brother, are wonderful.

Your English in this writing is extremely good.

Best wishes, Clive
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They are important because they help me a lot in my developments.

Should it be 'developments' or 'development' in this context?

Hi,

They are important because they help me a lot in my developments.

Should it be 'developments' or 'development' in this context? It's hard to say. It depends on whether the writer is thinking generally, or of more particular developments. On second thoughts, maybe 'development' is better.

Best wishes, Clive
Are you allowed to copy a complete sentence from a book for this?

I noticed the first two senteces were copied from "My Early Life".
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Well spotted Jay.

OP - You can't pinch the first two sentences of the biography of Winston Churchill and pretend you wrote them!