Hi

Please check my IELTS Task 1 writing.


The pie charts present the results of the survey on the reasons for the use of phone by teenagers in an African country, in percentages.

The survey which asked teenagers if they used their phones for making calls, social networking, digital camera or emails found that majority of them used their phones for social networking. The results showed that the least percentage of them used their phones for making calls.

While around 50 percent of teenagers used their phones for social networking from 2016 to 2019, those who used them for making calls dropped to 5 percent in 2019 from 13 in 2016. Additionally, in 2016, the percentage ratio of those who used their phones for emails and digital camera was 25 and 15. However, in 2019, teenagers using the phones for digital camera was marginally higher than those using the phones for emails. Overall, while teenagers using their phones for social networking and digital camera increased in the four-year period, the number using them for email and making calls reduced.

Who wrote that summary?

I wrote it.

Suresh

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The first two paragraphs are not well thought out. You can pack a lot more information into that many words! Where are the years?

Also, you need to structure the rest of your summary. Focus on sectors or years. Don't just write down ideas as they come to your mind, as in the above.

Finally, be mindful of your phrasing. For example, "percentage ratio" is wrong, and "reduce" is usually a transitive verb.

Revise and post below.

Thank you for your comments, teechr. I will revise and post the writing.

Suresh

The pie charts show the percentage of teenagers in an African country using their phones for social networks, emails, digital camera, and calls from 2016 to 2019.

In all the four years, social networks was the reason for the highest percentage of teenagers using their phones, whereas in the same period, the percentage of them using the phones for making calls was the least.

In 2016, while 50% of teenagers used their phones to access social networking sites, only 10% used them for making calls. With the percentage of those using phones for social networks remained almost the same in 2019, those using them for calls came down to 5. Additionally, while 25% of them used their phone for emails in 2016, 15% of them used for digital camera. However, in 2019, at 20%, the teenagers using the phones for digital camera was ahead of those using the phones for email by 1%.

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The pie charts show the percentage of compare four purposes teenagers in an African country reported for using their phones for social networks, emails, digital camera, and calls, from 2016 to 2019.

In all the four years, accessing social networks had was the reason for the highest percentage, of teenagers using their phones, whereas in the same period, the percentage of them using the phones for making calls was had the lowest. least.

In 2016, while 50% of teenagers used their phones to access social networking sites, only 10% used them for making calls. Moreover, a quarter reported email as the main reason, and 15% mentioned the camera.

A year later, there was little change, except that phone calls went up to 13%, and social media browsing dipped slightly to 48%.

Then in 2018, those changes were reversed, and the use of phones to take pictures went up to 18%.

Finally in 2019, the sector representing social media expanded to 56%, email ended at 19%, using the phone camera was at 20%, and ironically, making phone calls accounted for a tiny 5%.

With the percentage of those using phones for social networks remained almost the same in 2019, those using them for calls came down to 5. Additionally, while 25% of them used their phone for emails in 2016, 15% of them used for digital camera. However, in 2019, at 20%, the teenagers using the phones for digital camera was ahead of those using the phones for email by 1%.