Hi
Please check this IELTS Task 2 essay for me.
Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
The world has seen an incredible amount of transformation in the field of science and technology in the last hundred years. Against this backdrop, some people are of the view that technology has made people more social. I agree with this view but only partially.
Technology in the form of the Internet has enabled people to connect with their friends and others near and far. Social networking sites such as Facebook and Instagram enable users to send and receive messages, especially from friends living in distant locations with whom they seldom connect otherwise. These sites also have features for making audio and video calls quite conveniently. For example, a person in Tamil Nadu, India, is able to instantly talk to his or her friend in New Zealand on the Facebook video call. In addition to connecting with their friends, users are able to establish ties with their friends’ friends at ease. This undoubtedly makes them more and more friendly.
However, while these sites can help users to contact their friends irrespective of time and distance, their role in making users making more sociable is questionable. Studies conducted across the world report that many users use social networking sites more to learn about other people’s lives than establish friendly ties with them which may gradually make them more and more gregarious. Additionally, some studies have found that introverts particularly prefer social networking sites as they lack the inclination for face-to-face meetings.
In conclusion, it must be admitted that technology has enabled people to become more social through their interactions with people from various parts of the world on social networking sites. Nevertheless, it must also be factored in that these sites are used by some to peek into other people’s lives while some others use them to circumvent physical meetings.
Actually, technology development began not a couple of hundred years ago, but millions of years ago.
Many people misunderstand the word "technology".
The main issue with your essay is that you only focus on a very tiny aspect of technology, that is information and communications technologies.
Considered holistically and broadly, humans would not live in large thriving communities that we do now without the incredible technological developments from first stone and bone tools, extracting metals from ores, and then harnessing greater forces of water, wind and steam to power modern societies. Agriculture, transportation, medicine, travel and conveniences of labor-saving appliances all would not exist in their present form without the vast arrays of technologies and related inventions. Even writing has a fascinating history of technological development!
If the Eiffel Tower represents the entire span and scope of technology, the internet would be represented by the little antenna at the very apex, but more is yet to come.
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Thank you very much AlpheccaStars
I am awestruck by your support!
Yes, my understanding of the word "technology" was grossly narrow.
With pictures you have explained it very clearly.
Will go through them again.
I will re-write it. I think it is a challenging task. I will try.
Thank you once again.
Suresh
Hi AlpheccaStars
I have re-written the essay. Please review it and give your comments.
Suresh
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Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Ever since humans first appeared on the planet, they have been inventing one thing after another to make their life more and more secure and convenient. This directly or indirectly has made them more and more interdependent. Some people are of the opinion that improvement in technology has made humans more social. I completely agree with this opinion.
As humankind transitioned from the Bronze Age to the Iron Age, they started farming which required them to mutually support each other. This in turn made them interact increasingly with each other. Unlike hunting or the chores that they had been involved in previously, agriculture demanded concerted efforts of many people. For instance, farming majorly required people to plough the land, irrigate the crops and reap the harvest. While they engaged in these chores, they got to converse with each other much more than before and as a result they become more social.
Further, the invention of various means of travel and tools of communication have been landmark moments in the history of humankind---they have been remarkable leaps in the growth of technology. Starting with the wheel, buses and trains made people reach places they had never known and connect with people of varying cultures. Further, with the invention of the aero plane, humans flew across continents in a matter of hours and meet and socialize with people of other nationalities. Today, the Internet-enabled social networking sites such Facebook and Instagram allow people to talk with their friends and others across the world through audio and video calls instantaneously.
In conclusion, it is evident that with each invention humans have made they have started to work collectively and by doing so they have become more and more social in their temperament.
You have it nailed!
Ever since humans first appeared on the planet, they have been inventing one thing after another to better survive in a hostile world. make their life more and more secure and convenient. This directly or indirectly has made them more and more interdependent. Some people are of the opinion that improvement in technology has made humans more social. I completely agree with this opinion.
As humankind transitioned from the Bronze Age to the Iron Age, they started farming which required them to mutually support each other much more so than small tribes of hunter-gatherers.. This in turn made them settle in one place and interact increasingly with each other. Unlike hunting or collecting wild fruits and berries the chores that they had been involved in previously, agriculture demanded concerted efforts of many people. For instance, farming majorly required people to plough the land, irrigate the crops, protect them from wild animals, and reap the harvest, and store it over the winter. While they engaged in these chores, they had to cooperate in larger communities, plan together and share in the work. They also began trading over long distances for materials such as flint, pottery and metals. got to converse with each other much more than before and as a result they become more social.
Further, the invention of various means of travel and tools of communication have been landmark moments in the history of humankind---they have been remarkable leaps in the growth of technology. Starting with the wheel, buses and trains made people reach places they had never known and connect with people of varying cultures. Further, with the invention of the aero plane, humans flew across continents in a matter of hours and meet and socialize with people of other nationalities. Today, the Internet-enabled social networking sites such Facebook and Instagram allow people to talk with their friends and others across the world through audio and video calls instantaneously.
In conclusion, it is evident that with each invention humans have made they have started to work collectively and by doing so they have become more and more social in their temperament.
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Thank you very much, AlpheccaStars.
The amount of time and effort you have put in to check my essays must motivate me to write as long as I can.
Words cannot express my gratitude enough.
Thank you once again
Suresh
The history of technology is a fascinating one. No scientist knows when Homo Sapiens became a recognizable species. There are so many 'homos" and the fossil record is very sparse. Our ancestry is still not known, and new species are being discovered.
The best theory now is that there was some epigenetic change in the species, and in a relatively short time, homo sapiens was making art, musical instruments, jewelry, body ornamentation, clothing and very sophisticated weapons for hunting. That was 30,000-50,000 years ago. Scientists believe that languages - and abstract ideas - also began then.
The agricultural revolution was about 14,000 years ago. Signs of religion - rituals and beliefs - also happened around that time. Writing systems started independently in China, Mesopotamia and the Americas. That was about 7,000 years ago. Our species and all of its technology is rather young in the whole scheme of life on earth.
AlpheccaStarsThe best theory now is that there was some epigenetic change in the species, and in a relatively short time, homo sapiens was making art, musical instruments, jewelry, body ornamentation, clothing and very sophisticated weapons for hunting. That was 30,000-50,000 years ago. Scientists believe that languages - and abstract ideas - also began then.
Thank you very much, AlpheccaStars. This is a vital piece of information.
Suresh
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