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Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person.

Why do you think this is the case?

What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.


The advent of Internet as well as the development of smartphone have lead to prevalence of social networks. There has appeared a concern that youngster who use smartphone freqently the most gradually have opted for meeting online rather than talking to one another in person. In this essay, I will give some reasons and solutions for this phenomenon.

This issue can be attributed to a host of reasons. To begin with, the convenience of social networks is apparently obvious. These online societies have connected people in every corner of the world. People can chat, even discuss their work without leaving their places. In addition, social networks have been upgraded in order to function as a real life in which individuals can buy goods or even create their own businesses easily to sell products. Basically, they are allowed to open a "stall" with a low budget. Furthermore, young people are interested in new trends which have been created mainly on the Internet. This is what young people are captivated with the most.

To minimize adverse impacts of this issue, should all systems join hand including schools, parents and society. In terms of schools, teachers should indicate harmfulness of disconnection to the real community and show that face to face conversations help youngster enhance interpersonal skills. Parents also should spend more time on speaking to their children. Besides, time limit for using Internet should be taken into account as well.

Regarding society, government plays a dispensible role so that more amusement places should be built . Last but not least, Some policies need enacting to prevent disadvantages of social networks.

In brief, public should raise alarm so as to evoke people's awareness of this phenomenon. However, rhetoric only can not solve this. Community should join hand to take advantage of social networks properly.

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You have not focused well on the topic.
Your arguments need to be better. You did not give any example from personal experience as asked in the instructions. Do you or your friends use smartphones and social networks?


The advent of (wrong words) growth of the Internet as well as the development of the smartphone have lead to prevalence of social networks. There has appeared a concern that juveniles youngster (In the US, a youngster is much younger than a teenager. This is a rather casual word. It is not a good synonym for teenagers.) who use a smartphone freqently the most gradually have opted for meeting online rather than talking to one another in person. In this essay, I will give some reasons and solutions for this phenomenon.

(Do not mention your essay. Write a thesis statement. That is the main point of your essay. It gives an introduction to your arguments.

e.g.

Teenagers love to communicate with their virtual network of friends using these sophisticated devices. However, there are actions that parents, teachers and community leaders can take to persuade them to participate more in-person social activities.

)

This issue can be attributed to a host of reasons. (That is unnatural and it says nothing. Every issue, not matter what, has reasons.) To begin with, the convenience (Don't you mean popularity?) of social networks is immediately apparently obvious. These online societies have connected people in every corner of the world. People can chat, and even discuss their work without leaving their room. places. In addition, social networks have been upgraded in order to (That makes no sense) function as a virtual reality real life in which individuals can buy goods or even create their own businesses easily to sell products. (This is off-topic. The topic is teenagers socializing, not starting businesses.) Basically, they are allowed to open a "stall" with a low budget. Furthermore, young people are interested in new trends which are advertised have been created mainly on the Internet. This is what young people are captivated with the most.

To minimize adverse impacts (You have not mentioned one problem. You have only written about good things like connecting people and supporting entrepreneurs. ) of this issue, should all systems (ungrammatical, "system" is not the right word.) join hand including schools, parents and society. In terms of schools, teachers should indicate harmfulness of disconnection to the real community and show that face-to-face conversations help students develop youngster enhance interpersonal skills. Parents also should spend more time on speaking to their children and put time limits on their use of their devices. . Besides, time limit for using Internet should be taken into account as well.

Regarding society, government plays a dispensible (wrong word) role. City councils can promote the use of community centers, parks and places where teenagers can get together for fun and recreation. so that more amusement places should be built . Last but not least, Some policies need enacting to prevent disadvantages of social networks. (You have not mentioned any disadvantages of social networks yet.)

In brief, public officials should raise the alarm so as to evoke people's awareness of this situation phenomenon. However, rhetoric (wrong word) only can not solve this. Community should join hand to take advantage of social networks properly. (That does not make sense. It is not good English. The topic is about highschool students, not the community.)

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Comments  

Thank you very much !

I have just practised IELTS writing. This is my second essay.

Could you help me with the outline for this type of topic. What should I write for each passage?

Thanks a million !

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What are your ideas?

Why do young people like social networking sites? Do you use one of them yourself?

If your younger sister or brother spent all their free time on Facebook, what would you do about it?