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Topic: Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem.To what extent do you agree with this statement?Please evaluate my answer and give a band score!!! It is true that many children nowadays critically lack comprehension about a healthy lifestyle. And some people feel that not only schools but also parents should take the lead in tackling this problem. I tend to totally agree with this view and in this essay, I will support my opinions with examples. There is no doubt that schools have a major impact on children's lifestyle. Health education has always been a part of the school curriculum which helped children understanding the importance of having a healthy diet and developing healthy eating habits. In fact, children spend most of their early life at school. So, a school can train children in different sports such as swimming, basketball, badminton and so on. Moreover, the school has broad health topics including nutrition guidelines, physical fitness that elicits health promotion. On the other hand, parents have a duty to ensure their children have a healthy lifestyle and balanced diet because they are the children's role models. What they say and do has an incredible effect on children's action. If, for example, children see their parents taking part in outdoor activities, they are more likely to do the same. Furthermore, parents play an important role in making a healthy food choice. They should provide meals are nutritious and encourage their children to avoid junk foods and sugary snacks during the day. Although both schools and parents are in charge of children's health, governments and various health organizations must increase the knowledge and awareness of the benefits of having a healthy lifestyle these days. For instance, governments post advertisements about healthy eating or where to buy organic food which is not expensive quite frequently, to raise healthy behaviors on inhabitants. As a result, that would make a healthy nation. In conclusion, both groups have a huge influence on children's healthy habits, and so it should be a matter of shared responsibility.
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You need to write this essay in paragraphs. Have you learned how to do that yet?

Clive

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You need to write your essays in paragraphs. You will get a low score if you don't.

Paragraph 1: Introduction and thesis

Paragraph 2, 3, 4: Body Paragraphs (variable number, but 2 or 3 is best.)

Paragraph 5: Conclusion and summary

The problem areas are highlighted.


It is true that Many children nowadays critically lack information / knowledge comprehension about a healthy lifestyle. And some people feel that not only schools but also parents should take the lead in tackling this problem. I tend to totally agree with this view and in this essay, I will support my opinions with examples. (Never mention your essay or paragraphs or writing in an academic essay.) There is no doubt that schools have a major impact on children's lifestyle. Health education has always been a part of the school curriculum which helps helped children understanding the importance of having a healthy diet and developing healthy eating habits. In fact, children spend most of their early life at school. So, a school can train children in different sports such as swimming, basketball, badminton and so on. Moreover, the school has broad health topics including nutritional guidelines, (missing word) physical fitness that elicits health promotion. On the other hand, parents have a duty to ensure their children have a healthy lifestyle and balanced diet because they are the children's role models. What they say and do has an incredible effect on children's action. If, for example, children see their parents taking part in outdoor activities, they are more likely to do the same. Furthermore, parents play an important role in making a healthy food choices. They should provide meals (missing word) are nutritious and encourage their children to avoid junk foods and sugary snacks during the day. Although both schools and parents are in charge of children's health, governments and various health organizations must increase the (missing word) knowledge and awareness of the benefits of having a healthy lifestyle these days. For instance, governments can post advertisements about healthy eating or where to buy organic food which is not expensive quite frequently, to raise healthy behaviors on inhabitants. As a result, that would make a healthy nation. In conclusion, both groups have a huge influence on children's healthy habits, and so it should be a matter of shared responsibility.

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Comments  

I separated it but I don't know why it happened

So I edit once more time

Sorry!!!

It is true that many children nowadays critically lack comprehension about a healthy lifestyle. And some people feel that not only schools but also parents should take the lead in tackling this problem. I tend to totally agree with this view and in this essay, I will support my opinions with examples.

There is no doubt that schools have a major impact on children's lifestyle. Health education has always been a part of the school curriculum which helped children understanding the importance of having a healthy diet and developing healthy eating habits. In fact, children spend most of their early life at school. So, a school can train children in different sports such as swimming, basketball, badminton and so on. Moreover, the school has broad health topics including nutrition guidelines, physical fitness that elicits health promotion.

On the other hand, parents have a duty to ensure their children have a healthy lifestyle and balanced diet because they are the children's role models. What they say and do has an incredible effect on children's action. If, for example, children see their parents taking part in outdoor activities, they are more likely to do the same. Furthermore, parents play an important role in making a healthy food choice. They should provide meals are nutritious and encourage their children to avoid junk foods and sugary snacks during the day.

Although both schools and parents are in charge of children's health, governments and various health organizations must increase the knowledge and awareness of the benefits of having a healthy lifestyle these days. For instance, governments post advertisements about healthy eating or where to buy organic food which is not expensive quite frequently, to raise healthy behaviors on inhabitants. As a result, that would make a healthy nation.

In conclusion, both groups have a huge influence on children's healthy habits, and so it should be a matter of shared responsibility.

Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?

Topic: Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem.
To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Please evaluate my answer and give a band score!!!

It is true that many children nowadays critically lack comprehension about a healthy lifestyle. And some people feel that not only schools but also parents should take the lead in tackling this problem. I tend to totally agree with this view and in this essay, I will support my opinions with examples.

There is no doubt that schools have a major impact on children's lifestyle. Health education has always been a part of the school curriculum which helped children understanding the importance of having a healthy diet and developing healthy eating habits. In fact, children spend most of their early life at school. So, a school can train children in different sports such as swimming, basketball, badminton and so on. Moreover, the school has broad health topics including nutrition guidelines, physical fitness that elicits health promotion.

On the other hand, parents have a duty to ensure their children have a healthy lifestyle and balanced diet because they are the children's role models. What they say and do has an incredible effect on children's action. If, for example, children see their parents taking part in outdoor activities, they are more likely to do the same. Furthermore, parents play an important role in making a healthy food choice. They should provide meals are nutritious and encourage their children to avoid junk foods and sugary snacks during the day.

Although both schools and parents are in charge of children's health, governments and various health organizations must increase the knowledge and awareness of the benefits of having a healthy lifestyle these days. For instance, governments post advertisements about healthy eating or where to buy organic food which is not expensive quite frequently, to raise healthy behaviors on inhabitants. As a result, that would make a healthy nation.

In conclusion, both groups have a huge influence on children's healthy habits, and so it should be a matter of shared responsibility.

 AlpheccaStars's reply was promoted to an answer.