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Topic: A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honor, kindness, and trust, no longer seem important



It is true that the world today is much more modern than it used to be a hundred years ago so are people. There are more rich people than in the old days but I do believe no matter how rich or famous they are, there is no way that they could be more highly-estimated than others who may be poor but they have great personalities.

On one hand, there are millions of wealthy people but the question is:” Are they looked up to or respected?”. A great number of high-social status people are being hated and underestimated. Especially the leaders of a country; the way they treat poor people are horrible, they’re greedy they take money from taxes that are paid by normal people. But the worst thing, the thing that makes people angriest, is them not taking care of people’s lives and putting them in charge of poverty.

In contrast, kind people are always respected because of their wonderful personalities, they treat others well, and of course, all people are created equal, so loving or giving respect to kind people is much easier than to famous but rude people, For Example, Mother Teresa, she was a little nun who devoted her life to help the poor, sick or homeless people and she treated them so well and made them feel how great it was to be loved and when she died, Millions of people came to her federal including a lot of leaders of nations, that was a very unusual thing to a normal people. Would rich or famous people be treated like that when he dies?

In conclusion, the values of humankind depend on the ways they behave and the ways they treat other people, not how rich they are or any social status they have.

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It is true that the world today is much more modern than it used to be a hundred years ago so are people.


There are many problems with the first sentence.
First, it is ungrammatical. There are two sentences mashed together.
Second, do not begin "it is true that". Would you write things that are not true?
Third, it is a "truism" That means the statement is so blatantly true as to have no content at all. "Water is wet." and "A dead person is not alive." are truisms.
Fourth, it is off-topic. There is nothing in the topic about modern technology or other trappings of today's society.

Don't memorize "set" phrases or sentences to begin your essay. The examiner will recognize this right away.

You make a lot of punctuation errors. Missing punctuation, comma splice errors, and capitalization errors.



There are more rich people than in the old days (off topic. The question is not about the number of rich people.) but I do believe no matter how rich or famous they are, there is no way that they could be more highly-estimated than others who may be poor but they have great personalities.

On one hand, there are millions of wealthy people but the question is:” Are they looked up to or respected?”. A great number of high-social status people are being hated (wrong verb form) and underestimated. Especially the leaders of a country; the way they treat poor people are (wrong verb form) horrible, (comma splice error) they’re greedy (punctuation error) they take money from taxes that are paid by normal people. But the worst thing, the thing that makes people angriest, is them not taking care of people’s lives and putting them in charge of poverty.

(??)

In contrast, kind people are always respected because of their wonderful personalities, (comma splice error) they treat others well, and of course, all people are created equal, so loving or giving respect to kind people is much easier than to famous but rude people, For Example, Mother Teresa, she was a little nun who devoted her life to help the poor, sick or homeless people and she treated them so well and made them feel how great it was to be loved and when she died, Millions of people came to her federal (wrong word) including a lot of leaders of nations, (comma splice error) that was a very unusual thing to a normal people. Would rich or famous people be treated like that when he dies?

In conclusion, the values of humankind depend on the ways they behave and the ways they treat other people, not how rich they are or any social status they have.


You did not address the topic directly. Are old-fashioned values a thing of the past? You need to answer "yes" or "no" and then support your answer.