Topic: In the past, sporting champions used to be motivated primarily by the desire to win a match or to break world records. These days they are more likely to be motivated by prize money and the opportunity to be famous.
What message does this send to young people and how does this attitude to sport affect sports themselves?

Nowadays, the changing nature of life had shifted the main source of motivation for sportsmen. Unlike the old days when people compete in sporting events to set world records or simply to achieve personal dedication in sport, money and fame are what present-day sporting is all about. There have been controversy surrounding how this attitude would affect not only the youth but also sports doers themselves.

Dismissing the value of sport is one of the major concerns. As in the past, one would do sport because of its positive impacts on both physical and mental health, along with sport achievement, friendship and modesty. However, those traits are beginning to fade, and atrocious behaviors toward each other are seen frequently in many major sport events. Moreover, as sporting champions are too focusing on their fame and images, it is more likely for them to be distracted from expertizing their skills. Advertising companies rapidly use sport celebrities to endorse products, and to compete against rivals as well.

Furthermore, it was evident to everyone that younger generation are exposed to sports people, especially champions. They would see sport as an occupation, rather than a way to improve health and cooperation. The material world would greatly influence far more young people than older ones, results in the increasing materialistic personality development. High rewarded competitions are prevailed over sporting spirit, and therefore they would not have a chance to learn from professional athletes to master themselves.

In conclusion, it is crucial to be aware that renown and monetary rewards should not be the main aims of any kinds of sport. Concentrating too intensely on either the prize money or popularity would not only lower one’s performance, but also send misleading message to younger generation. Combining that encouragement with frequent practice should be considered as a viable alternative to succeed.

I did not understand most of your essay. You are trying to be sophisticated and write "big words", but this approach does not succeed. Use words you are very confident of.


Nowadays, the changing nature of life (I don't know what that means. Can you be more clear?) had shifted the main source of motivation for sportsmen. Unlike the old days when people competed in games or tournaments sporting events to set world records or simply to achieve personal goals dedication in sport, money and fame are what present-day professional sport sporting is all about. There have been controversy (Subject/verb disagreement. Also, do not use memorized responses.) surrounding how this attitude would affect not only the youth but also sports doers (wrong word) themselves.

Dismissing the value of sport (I don't know what that means. Can you be more clear?) is one of the major concerns. As in the past, one would do sport because of its positive impacts on benefits for both physical and mental health, along with sport achievement, friendship and modesty. (wrong word) However, those traits are beginning to fade, and atrocious behaviors toward each other are seen frequently in many major sport events. Moreover, as sporting champions are too focusing (wrong form) on their fame and images, (wrong form) it is more likely for them to be distracted from expertizing (wrong word) their skills. Advertising companies rapidly (wrong word - unnatural) use sport celebrities to endorse products, and to compete against rivals as well.

Furthermore, it was (wrong tense) evident to everyone that the younger generation are exposed to sports people, especially champions. They would see sport as an occupation, rather than a way to improve health and cooperation. The material world would greatly influence far more young people than older ones, results in the increasing materialistic personality development. (I don't know what that means. Can you be more clear?) High (wrong form) rewarded competitions are prevailed (wrong verb form) over sporting spirit, and therefore they w (Who are you talking about? I have lost your train of thought.) would not have a chance to learn from professional athletes to master themselves. (I am not sure what you mean.)

In conclusion, it is crucial to be aware that renown and monetary rewards should not be the main aims of any kinds of sport. Concentrating too intensely on either the prize money or popularity would not only lower one’s performance, but also send misleading messages to the younger generation. Combining that encouragement with frequent practice should be considered as a viable alternative to succeed.