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Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is a controversy about whether adolescents should get an occupation after secondary school or continuing their study at higher education institution to obtain success. I totally think that studying at tertiary is a better choice.

There is no denying that studying for higher degree is immensely beneficial to teenagers. First of all, should they study at university or college, they can get international-recognized certifications after graduation, which is necessary for some particular jobs. To exemplify, it is claimed that people can not accomplish jobs demanding expertise such as doctor, teacher and lawyer. What is more, with their in-depth and academic knowledge, they can enhance employment opportunities because employers often recruit those are professional have academic qualifications,in addition, they can seize a suitable position as well as get promotion, which can help them to earn more income.

On the other hand, it is undoubted that working after high school is also a good choice for many youngsters. It is an alternative for those getting bored with studying so they can do some manual occupations. They can get more practical experience in actual circumstances, which is helpful as they can apply it and avoid mistakes to work more effectively. Besides, it is believed that adolescents can earn money very soon and become financially independent, which is a sign of maturity. They will learn how to manage their income and use it adequately. Therefore, they will not waste their money in buying unnecessary things. For instance, many teenagers in the Western often leave home to live without their parent’s support.

In conclusion, regardless of some benefits of getting a job after high school, I firmly concur that continuing studying is the better way to accomplish success.

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There is a controversy (Incorrect. There is no controversy. It is a choice that you are asked to present your opinion on. Many essay writers make the mistake of assuming these topics contain "heated debates" or "controversies" or "hot topics." That is not true. These students memorize words like "controversy" and assume that they will work. Well, it does not. The examiners know the trick of memorizing these words, and it will not help your score.) about whether adolescents should get an occupation after secondary school or continuing their study at higher education institution to obtain success. I totally think that studying at tertiary (wrong expression and wrong word. Tertiary is an adjective. It is not a place or a school.) is a better choice.

There is no denying that studying for a higher degree is immensely beneficial to teenagers. (poor word choice. Most college students are not teenagers. ) First of all, should they study at university or college, they can get internationally recognized certifications after graduation, which is necessary for some particular jobs. To exemplify, it is claimed that (Wrong expressions. Avoid these passive-it clauses. They add nothing to your essay.) As an example, people can not accomplish (wrong word) perform jobs demanding expertise such as a doctor, teacher and lawyer. What is more, with their in-depth and academic knowledge, they can enhance (wrong word) obtain better employment opportunities because employers often recruit those are professional (ungrammatical clause structure. You cannot put a main clause as the object of a verb.) have academic qualifications,in (comma splice error, ungrammatical sentence) addition, they can seize a suitable position as well as get promotion, (wrong form) which can help them to earn more income.

On the other hand, it is undoubted that (Wrong expressions. Avoid these passive-it clauses. They add nothing to your essay.) working after high school is without doubt / undoubtedly also a good choice for many youngsters. (In the US, a youngster is a child between the ages of 7 and 12. Very few youngsters have graduated high school! And they may do chores at home, but they cannot legally work for an employer. There are child labour laws.) It is an alternative for those getting bored with studying so they can do some manual occupations. (wrong word) They can get more practical experience in actual circumstances, which is helpful as they can apply it and avoid mistakes to work more effectively. Besides, it is believed that adolescents can earn money very soon and become financially independent, which is a sign of maturity. They will learn how to manage their income and use it adequately. Therefore, they will not waste their money in buying unnecessary things. For instance, many teenagers in the Western (wrong word. Western is an adjective. I live in the western part of the state. ) often leave home to live without their parent’s support.

In conclusion, regardless of some benefits of getting a job after high school, I firmly concur that continuing studying is the better way to accomplish success.

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 AlpheccaStars's reply was promoted to an answer.

Thank you. Could you please tell me why i shouldn't use that type of passive voice? and what grammatical mistake in have academic qualifications,in (comma splice error, ungrammatical sentence) addition, , is that because we cannot use the " in addition" incorrectly ?

Zedder001what grammatical mistake in have academic qualifications,in

Read this: https://www.chompchomp.com/terms/commasplice.htm

There is nothing wrong with "in addition". However the comma is incorrect.

Zedder001 why i shouldn't use that type of passive voice?

It is a very poor style. And most of the time, it adds no content to the essay, just "filler words."

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