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i would really appreciate it if you tell me about my mistakes in this essay.




the bar chart illustrates how frequently individuals in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013.

at first glance is evident that, over this ten years, the most percent of citizens in USA ate fast food once a weak and once or twice a month by more than 25 percent while, there is low percent of people in USA who never had eaten fast food and who had fast food dishes in everyday by less than 5 percent. meanwhile, having fast food several times a week and a few times a year had moderate percent between 10 and 15 percent.

looking for more detail, in 2003 more than 30 percent of people ate fast food once a weak at the same time approximately 4 percent of people ate junk food every day. afterward, during 2006 more than 32 percent of individuals had junk food once a weak, which was similar percent in 2013 for people who ate once or twice a month. correspondingly, during 2006 and 2013, the fewer citizens ate fast food every day and had never eaten fast food, subsequently with 3 percent and 4 percent.



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Please read my advice for Task 1 essays. You have made some errors in word usage that are explained in these posts.

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post

Do you know that every English sentence must begin with a capital letter?
If you begin with a lower-case letter, the sentence is immediately ungrammatical.
An essay with nothing but ungrammatical sentences will not get a high score.

Thanks for your response i really appreciate it.

I actually have seen in many credible essays that they have used ' it is evident that or it can be seen that' for task 1 because of that i had used them.


Please review my ielts task one writing


Topic: The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in the fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013

My edited essay:


The bar chart illustrates how frequently individuals in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013.

At first glance, over this ten years the most percent of citizens in USA ate in the fast food restaurants once a weak and once or twice a month by more than 25 percent while, there is low percent of people in USA who never had eaten fast food in restaurants and who had everyday fast food dishes in restaurants by less than 5 percent. Meanwhile, having fast food several times a week and a few times a year had moderate percent between 10 and 15 percent.

Looking for more detail, in 2003 more than 30 percent of people ate fast food once a weak at the same time approximately 4 percent of people ate junk food every day. Afterward, during 2006 more than 32 percent of individuals had junk food once a weak, which was similar percent in 2013 for people who ate once or twice a month. Correspondingly, during 2006 and 2013, the fewer citizens ate fast food every day and had never eaten fast food, subsequently with 3 percent and 4 percent.

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ssssssssssssssssThanks for your response i really appreciate it. I actually have seen in many credible essays that they have used ' it is evident that or it can be seen that' for task 1 because of that i had used them.

Those dummy-it passive-voice clauses are grammatical English.

However, they are distasteful because they do very little in communicating the information in the infographics. To me, they are a complete waste of words. Good writers make every word effective in achieving their purpose. These are what we call "filler". They just fill up some space on the paper.

By the way, your answer is ungrammatical. When you post on EnglishForums, try to write your best.

I cannot give any feedback on writing where I cannot see what you are writing about.

The bar chart illustrates (wrong word. Read may advice) how frequently individuals in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013. (That is not exactly correct. It does not show data for the years 2004, 2005, 2007, 2008, and several others between these two extremes. Also, it not a complete description. Read my advice.)

At first glance, (The lecturer wants you to study the plot carefully so you can report the information accurately . Glancing is not a good thing to say to a professor.) over this (wrong pronoun) ten years the most percent (unnatural) of citizens in USA (Do not repeat the information you gave in the first paragraph.) ate in the fast food restaurants once a weak (Weak is the opposite of strong.) and once or twice a month by more than 25 percent (That is not accurate. 42% is more than 25% and so is 81%) while, there is low percent (unnatural) of people in USA who never had eaten (wrong verb form. "Never had eaten" means that during their entire lives they never tasted junk food.) fast food in restaurants and who had everyday (wrong word. "Everyday" is for clothes or shoes that are not for special occasions.) fast food dishes in restaurants by less than 5 percent. Meanwhile, having fast food several times a week and a few times a year had moderate percent between 10 and 15 percent. (You should include only 2 or 3 main features in the "overall" paragraph.)

Looking for more In detail, in 2003 more than 30 percent of people ate fast food once a weak at the same time approximately 4 percent of people ate junk food every day. Afterward, during 2006 more than 32 percent of individuals had junk food once a weak, which was similar percent in 2013 for people who ate once or twice a month. Correspondingly, during 2006 and 2013, the fewer citizens ate fast food every day and had never eaten fast food, (wrong verb form) subsequently with 3 percent and 4 percent.


Read my advice for Task 1 essays.

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post



Example opening paragraph:

The bar graph plots the percentage of Americans who ate in fast food restaurants grouped into six different frequency categories, ranging from never to every day. Data from three years, 2003, 2006 and 2013, are shown for comparison.

Example "Overall" paragraph:

Overall, the data shows that Americans are going to fast food outlets less frequently in 2013 as compared to 2003. However, most people, well over nine in ten, do eat fast food at least a few times a year. The percentage who have a meal at one of these places every day is about the same as those who never eat there at all.

Math lesson for this bar chart:

A relative frequency distribution is a special type of bar chart. The X-axis has all the various possible categories. The Y axis shows the percent or fraction of responses (occurrences) in each category. The total of values in all the categories in each data set is 100%. These type of charts often display a "normal distribution", also called a "bell curve."

In this chart, look at the values in the data sets

2003: 4 + 17 + 31 + 30 + 13 + 5 = 100
2006: 3 + 20 + 33 + 25 + 15 + 4 =‬ 100
2013: 3 + 16 + 28 + 34 + 15 + 4 = 100

Each category has the relative frequency of occurrence of its value. That is the reason it is called a "frequency distribution." This name has no connection to the name of the categories which also happens to be frequency of eating at a fast food restaurant.
For this type of chart, you need to know the word "mode". It is the category that has the highest value.

The shape of the curve is called a bell curve or normal distribution:

You can draw the bell curves for each year in this chart.

Observe that the changing position of the mode value shows that people are overall eating less often in fast food places.

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I'm much obliged to you

Sorry I have a question . Should'nt we use past tense ?

Overall, the data shows that Americans are going to fast food outlets less frequently in 2013 as compared to 2003. However, most people, well over nine in ten, do eat fast food at least a few times a year. The percentage who have a meal at one of these places every day is about the same as those who never eat there at all.

You have a choice.

The present is what is on the chart as you look at it.
The past is for the timeframe of the information.

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