# Ielts Writing Essay Task 1

•  1

Greetings;

I would really appreciate it if you tell me about my mistakes in this essay.

The line graph compares five European countries in terms of the proportion of female members in their parliament from 2000 to 2012.

Overall, the proportion of female population who were the parliament members increased in each country over the period shown, though there weren't striking changes in these countries expect in the UK. Meanwhile, Germany and Italy had the most female members compared to those three countries.

In 2000, Germany had the most female members by more than 35 percent, while the figure for Italy was lower by less than 30 percent. In 2012, the trend for Italy gained the highest point to near 40 percent and Germany was less than that by approximately 37 percent. The trends for Belgium and France stood at near 25 percent and 18 percent respectively in 2000 and with slightly differences they reached 32 percent and 22 percent respectively in 2012. The proportion of female members in the UK was the least in 2000 by less than 4 percent and with the sharp rise went up to the same position with Belgium in 2012.

The line graph compares five European countries in terms of the proportion of female members in their parliaments from 2000 to 2012.

Overall, the proportion of female population who were the parliament members MPs increased in each country over the period shown, though there [ 1] weren't striking changes in these countries expect with the largest rise being in the UK. Meanwhile, Germany and Italy had the most more female members compared to those the other three countries.

In 2000, Germany had the most female members (35), by more than 35 percent, while the figure for followed by Italy was lower by less than (27), France (25), Belgium (18), while the UK only had 3. percent.

[ 2]

--------------------------------------------------------

[ 1]: Do not use contractions (weren’t) in formal writing, and learn the difference between “except” and “expect”.

[ 2]: It is not good to jump from the starting year immediately to the final one! Instead, write a couple of sentences for the years in between. For example, you can continue with “Four years later, there was a slight dip in the graph for Germany, but an increase for the other four countries. Then between 2004 and 2008, ….”

Try to finish the rest of the summary, and repost it below.

I am so grateful for your response

The line graph compares five European countries in terms of the proportion of female members in their parliaments from 2000 to 2012.

Overall, the proportion of female MPs increased in each country over the period shown, with the largest rise being in the UK. Meanwhile, Germany and Italy had more female members compared to the other three countries.

In 2000, Germany had the most female members (35), followed by Italy (27), France (25), and Belgium (18), while the UK only had 3. Four years later, there was a slight dip in the graph for Germany, but an increase for the other four countries. Then between 2004 and 2008, though the number of female MPs suddenly became more than double in the UK, other countries' values climbed inconsiderably. Finally, in 2012, the trend for Italy gained the peak to near 40 percent, at the same time Germany was less than that to approximately 37 percent and the UK MPs which always was less than other countries reached the same position as Belgium (24).

Site Hint: Check out our list of pronunciation videos.

The line graph compares five European countries in terms of the proportion of female members in their parliaments from 2000 to 2012.

Overall, the proportion of female MPs increased in each country over the period shown, with the largest rise being in the UK. Meanwhile, Germany and Italy had more female members compared to the other three countries.

In 2000, Germany had the most female members (35), followed by Italy (27), France (25), and Belgium (18), while the UK only had 3. Four years later, there was a slight dip in the graph for Germany, but an increase for the other four countries.

[ 1]

Then between 2004 and 2008, though the number of female MPs suddenly became more than doubled in the UK, for the other countries, it rose only slightly. [ 2] values climbed inconsiderably.

Finally, in by 2012, the trend for Italy gained the reached a peak of to nearly 40 female MPS, [ 3] percent, while at the same time, Germanys figure was less than that increased modestly to approximately 37. [ 3]percent and Meanwhile, the UK and Belgium had 24 women MPs each, and France ended at around 32. which always was less than other countries reached the same position as Belgium (24).

----------------------------------------------------

[ 1]: Use a blank line to separate your paragraphs.

[ 2]: “climbed inconsiderably” is unnatural and almost contradictory.

[ 3]: We are not talking about percentages here!

Thank you so much