Hi there

this is my writing for task 2 question , could you please recognize my mistakes?

thank you


In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?


In this contemporary era, technology has brought a plethora pleasant and unpleasant change in our lives. Making payments for things or services via cellphone’s utilization has become widespread around world. This essay will discuss that how advantages of these applications outweigh their disadvantages.

One of the problems living in hectic society is lack of time; individuals frequently wasting time in commuting intercity and suffering from traffic jam. By emergence of numerous apps in cellphone devices, people are able to transfer money from one device to other with help of the internet only by single tap. Thereby citizens no longer need to spend long period for paying what they purchase or for their utility bills. In addition, payments through a digital platform are recorded digitally. Therefore, one ought not to keep track of the transaction, which makes expense management a breeze. Furthermore, this will reduce paper consumption that could be effective in protecting the environment.

On the flip side, there are a number of folks who are illiterate and even elderly people in third world countries do not know how to make use of phone apps to make payments. Moreover, there are number of crowd in deprived areas who do not have smartphones or internet access, they use traditional methods. Thus, mobile functions might be a Problematic way for a certain people.

In conclusion, absolutely features like saving time and decreasing usage of energy are a few of the numerous advantages of these apps. Indubitably these apps will have obviated most of the modern human troubles in near future and there is no way for whole of the community to be accustomed to the new technology.

Hi there

this is my writing for task 2 question , could you please recognize my mistakes?

thank you


In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?


In this contemporary era, technology has brought a plethora pleasant and unpleasant change in our lives. Making payments for things or services via cellphone’s utilization has become widespread around world. This essay will discuss that how advantages of these applications outweigh their disadvantages.

One of the problems living in hectic society is lack of time; individuals frequently wasting time in commuting intercity and suffering from traffic jam. By emergence of numerous apps in cellphone devices, people are able to transfer money from one device to other with help of the internet only by single tap. Thereby citizens no longer need to spend long period for paying what they purchase or for their utility bills. In addition, payments through a digital platform are recorded digitally. Therefore, one ought not to keep track of the transaction, which makes expense management a breeze. Furthermore, this will reduce paper consumption that could be effective in protecting the environment.

On the flip side, there are a number of folks who are illiterate and even elderly people in third world countries do not know how to make use of phone apps to make payments. Moreover, there are number of crowd in deprived areas who do not have smartphones or internet access, they use traditional methods. Thus, mobile functions might be a Problematic way for a certain people.

In conclusion, absolutely features like saving time and decreasing usage of energy are a few of the numerous advantages of these apps. Indubitably these apps will have obviated most of the modern human troubles in near future and there is no way for whole of the community to be accustomed to the new technology.

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In this contemporary era, (Unnatural.. Just use the present perfect tense.) information technology (There are many types of technology. Tell the examiner what type you are writing about.) has brought a plethora (Wrong word and wrong usage. There is very seldom an opportunity to use myriad and plethora in Task2 essays. Most often it is wrong.) pleasant and unpleasant change (wrong form) in our lives. Making payments for things or services via a smart phone cellphone’s utilization has become widespread around world. This essay will discuss that how advantages of these applications outweigh their disadvantages.

Never mention your essay. The examiner knows you are writing an essay. They know the topic and the task. Do not tell them this. Instead, answer the prompt as a thesis statement.

Prompt: Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Example of thesis statement.

There is a significant advantage to being able to pay with an electronic device, and there are no disadvantages. This means of payment, rather than cash or a credit card, is much more secure for both the merchant and the buyer.


One of the problems living in hectic society is lack of time; individuals frequently wasting time in commuting intercity and suffering from traffic jam. (That is off topic. It certainly does not express an advantage of electronic payments.) By emergence of numerous apps in cellphone devices, people are able to transfer money from one device to other with help of the internet only by single tap. (Off topic. ) Thereby citizens no longer need to spend long period for paying (I do not understand your point. Please give an example. For example, if I am in a grocery store, I can pay with a credit card, cash, a personal check or a phone app. The time is no longer or shorter.) what they purchase or for their utility bills. In addition, payments through a digital platform are recorded digitally. Therefore, one ought does not have to keep track of the transaction, which makes expense management a breeze. (This is too informal for academic writing.) Furthermore, this will reduce paper consumption that could be effective in protecting the environment. (I do not understand - do you mean paper money?)

On the flip side, (This is too informal for academic writing.) there are a number of folks who are illiterate and even elderly people in third world countries do not know how to make use of phone apps to make payments. Moreover, there are number of crowd in deprived areas who do not have smartphones or internet access, they use traditional methods. Thus, mobile functions might be a Problematic way for a certain people.

Your paragraph is off topic. The prompt is not "compare the advantages to the disadvantages.". Here is the prompt: Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Your answer has to support your position: It has more advantages, so present tow body paragraphs with the advantages.

Also, whenever you are arguing for one position against another, put the counter position in the first paragraph and your position in the second. That will make an essay more coherent and cohesive.


In conclusion, absolutely (wrong word, wrong usage) features like saving time and decreasing usage of energy are a few of the numerous advantages of these apps. Indubitably these apps will have obviated most of the modern human our troubles in near future and there is no way for whole of the community to be accustomed to the new technology.


"Technology" is a very general term. It does not only refer to electronic devices, appliances and machinery!



HELLO

Thank you so much

I wrote it again. is it better?

Technology has revolutionized the way we make money payments by introducing electronic transaction apps. There is a significant advantage to being able to pay with an electronic device, and there are no disadvantages. This means of payment through internet, rather than cash or a credit card, is much more convenient and secure for both the merchant and the buyer.

The first and foremost merit of Purchasing with the help of mobile applications is that it is time savings and comfortable to use. It allows the costumers to pay for goods and services at any time and from anywhere. for instance, citizens are be able to discharging their utility bills or university fees from the comfort of home, thereby, they don’t need to wasting their time and energy in commuting intercity or standing in a long queue. Furthermore, during some dangerous disease pandemic such as covid-19 , this modern innovative application abate the face to face connection. Thus, people will be protected from hazardous.

by using advanced online payment system, enterprises or sellers are allowed to consolidate and manage various payment processes into the single platform. They are capable of defining strategies for their payment transactions and provide suited services. Accordingly, this would increase conversions and reduce transaction fees. Moreover these apps provide credible and secure field for transferring great deal of money from one device to another, It is much better than getting payments through cheques or cash with the risk of theft.

In conclusion, there are numerous benefits of using online payment apps for purchasers and traders. Indubitably these apps will have alleviated most of the modern troubles in near future. The only secret is to make sure these apps would have a reliable and secure payment method.

lime zany 791222I wrote it again. is it better?

There are still a few mistakes.


Information and computing technology has revolutionized the way we make money payments by introducing having secure payment electronic transaction apps on our smart phones.. There is a significant advantage to being able to pay with our phones an electronic device, and there are no disadvantages. This means of payment through internet, rather than cash or a credit card, is much more convenient and secure for both the merchant and the buyer.

The first and foremost merit of purchasing groceries, clothing or other items with the help of mobile applications is that it saves time is time savings and is easy comfortable to use. It allows the costumers (A costumer is someone who works in the movie industry making costumes for actors.) to pay for goods and services at any time and from anywhere. for instance, people citizens are be able to pay discharging their utility bills or university fees from the comfort of home, (comma splice error) thereby, they don’t ( Do not use contractions in formal writing) need to wasting (wrong form) their time and energy in commuting intercity or standing in a long queue. Furthermore, during some dangerous disease a pandemic such as covid-19 , this modern innovative application abate it makes the face-to-face interactions unnecessary. connection. Thus, people will be protected from others who may be contagious. hazardous.

by using advanced online payment systems, enterprises or sellers are allowed to can consolidate and manage various payment processes into their corporate bank account. the single platform. They are capable of defining strategies for receive their payment transactions quickly and efficiently for their products and provide suited services. Accordingly, this would increase conversions reduce fraud and reduce transaction fees. Moreover these apps provide credible means and secure field for transferring large sums great deal of money from one account device to another, It is much better than getting payments through cheques or cash with the risk of theft.

In conclusion, there are numerous benefits of using online payment apps for purchasers and businesses. traders. Indubitably these apps will have alleviated most of the modern troubles in near future. The only secret is to make sure (Do not add new ideas in the conclusion.) These apps would have are a reliable and secure payment method.

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many thanks for your response

I corrected it. could you please tell me what would be my overall number?

Information and computing technology has revolutionized the way we make money payments by having secure payment apps on our smart phones. There is a significant advantage to being able to pay with our phones, and there are no disadvantages. This means of payment through internet, rather than cash or a credit card, is much more convenient and secure for both the merchant and the buyer.

The first and foremost merit of purchasing groceries, clothing or other items with the help of mobile applications is that it saves time and easy to use. It allows the consumers to pay for goods and services at any time and from anywhere. For instance, people are been able to pay their utility bills or university fees from the comfort of home. Thereby, they do not need to waste their time and energy in traffic or standing in a long queue. Furthermore, during a pandemic such as covid-19, it makes face-to-face interactions unnecessary. Thus, people will be protected from others who may be contagious.

By using online payment systems, enterprises or sellers can consolidate and manage various payment processes into their corporate bank account. They receive payment transactions quickly and efficiently for their products services. Accordingly, this would reduce fraud and transaction fees. Moreover these apps provide credible means for transferring large sums of money from one account to another, it is much better than getting payments through cheque or cash with the risk of theft.

In conclusion, there are numerous benefits of using online payment apps for purchasers and businesses. These apps are a reliable and secure payment method.