You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.
The line graph compares the proportions of arrivals in England who visited four different attractions in Brighton.
It is clear that throughout most of the period, Pavilion was the place that attracted the greatest number of visitors. We can also see that at the end of the period, while the figures for Pavilion and Pier had the overall increases, the two remaining attractions had relatively lower rates, compared to their percentages in 1980.
In 1980, the proportion of tourists visiting Pavilion stood at somewhere between 20% and 30% and it was the second highest ratio at that time. This figure surged exponentially before peaking at just nearly 50% in 1995, a two-fold increase over the 1980 level. Regardless of its drop over the next 15 years, it was the highest rate in 2010, with over 30%. A similar pattern can be seen when looking at the Pier, where its figure started with the lowest number among four places in the first year but then rose to roughly 23% and became the third highest rate in 2010
Festival made up exact 30% of visitors in 1980. Although this figure didn’t experience strong fluctuations during the given years, it slightly dropped to less than 30% in 2010. In contrast, the most dramatic decrease was seen in the rate of Art Gallery. The percentage of tourists visiting Art Gallery rose considerably to roughly 38% in 1985 but then fell significantly by 30%, accounted for less than 10% in the last given year.
Please attach an image of what you are writing about. We cannot help you if we can't see the figure.
Please read my advice for Task 1 essays. You make some of the most common mistakes in vocabulary.
IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice
Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post
Further, you wrote 250 words, while the minimum is 150.
You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high scores. There are many reasons.
First, the longer the essay, the more chances you have to make errors, and you will lose points for these errors.
Second, your writing may be repetitious and wordy. In Task 1, you are likely writing about everything, rather than following the instructions and picking out only the significant points. This will cost you points.
Third, you will take a lot of the limited time writing, and not have time left over to proofread your essay. You will miss the silly mistakes, and that lowers your score.
Fourth, you will not have enough time to devote to Task 2, and get a lower score there. Task 2 counts twice as much for your overall score.
Revise your essay and post the revision with the image attached.
The line graph compares the proportions of arrivals in England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. It is clear that throughout most of the period, Pavilion was the place that attracted the greatest number of visitors.
In 1980, the proportion of tourists visiting Pavilion stood at somewhere between 20% and 30% and it was the second highest ratio at that time. This figure surged exponentially before peaking at just nearly 50% in 1995, a two-fold increase over the 1980 level. Regardless of its drop over the next 15 years, it was the highest rate in 2010, with over 30%. The similar pattern can be seen when looking at the Pier, whose figure started with the lowest number among four places in the first year but then rose to roughly 23%, making it becime the third highest rate in 2010
Festival made up exactly 30% of visitors in 1980. Although this figure didn’t experience strong fluctuations during the given years, it slightly dropped to less than 30% in 2010. In contrast, the most dramatic decrease was seen in the rate of Art Gallery. The percentage of tourists visiting Art Gallery rose considerably to roughly 38% in 1985 but then fell significantly by 30%, accounted for less than 10% in the last given year.
There is the graph that I've tried to depict. Sorry for not chaging many parts of my writing since I am confused by where to change. Anyway, thank you for this and previous reply. I am really appreciated.
Here are the incorrect parts (I assume because the graph is not in your post.)
1. Your first paragraph must be two paragraphs. Paragraph 1) describe the figure, but do not describe the information in it.
In the second paragraph, give two or three main points about the information content.
2. "it is clear that" - delete this.
3. ratio: A ratio is expressed using two numbers: e.g. a student-teacher ratio of 20:1. A gear ratio of 3:2.
Read the second link ( https://www.englishforums.com/English/VocabularyWordsTaskReference-Post/bxzppn/post.htm ) to find out why these words are wrong:
4. rate - wrong word.
5. figure - wrong word.
6. fluctuation - wrong word
This page begins:
These words are frequently misused in Task 1 essays
- Fluctuate
- Figure
- Rate
- Peak
Sorry for not detached the image of the graph. Sadly, I can not obtain the permission of the image so I will give the link in stead:
https://www.ielts-exam.net/academic_writing_samples_task_1/850/
Thank you for the feedback. I wanna ask you that which words can we use to avoid repeating the words: "percentage" and "proportion".
nguyenngocanhthu that which words can we use to avoid repeating the words: "percentage" and "proportion".
Learn to use pronouns. The purpose of pronouns is to avoid repetition of words.
The line graph compares the proportions of arrivals (Not a synonym) in England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. (You have to start the second paragraph here. But you did not finish the first one What were these attractions? When did they visit?) It is clear that throughout most of the period, (You have not informed the reader what the period is.) Pavilion (You did not name the four attractions. So this is confusing.) was the place that attracted the greatest number of visitors. (You need another major observation. Put two to three in the second paragraph.)
In 1980, the proportion of tourists visiting Pavilion stood at somewhere between 20% and 30% (You can do a better estimate from reading the graph.) and it was the second highest ratio (Wrong word. Here is an example of "ratio". The ratio of the number of tourists visiting the Art Gallery to those visiting Pier Pier was about 2:1) at that time. This figure (wrong word.) It (The pronoun "it" refers to the preceding noun that applies. And that is "proportion of tourists visiting Pavilion) surged (That is an emotional word. Use mathematical words in task 1) went up exponentially before peaking at just nearly 50% in 1995, a two-fold increase (You used twofold and 50%, which means that the 1980 value was 25%. But you originally said it was "somewhere between 20 and 30 percent." That is not very precise!) over the 1980 level. Regardless of (not good ), it drop Over the next 15 years, it was the highest rate (wrong word) in 2010, with over it dropped to about 30%, but it remained the most popular attraction for the last twenty years of the period. The A similar pattern can be seen when looking at the Pier, whose visitor count figure started in fourth place with the lowest number among four places in the first year but then rose to roughly 23%, making it becime the third highest rate in 2010 (missing punctuation)
Festival made up attracted exactly 30% of these visitors in 1980 and it ranked in first place. Although Its percentage did not vary significantly, hitting a low point of about 24% in 1995 and ending at about 28%. this figure didn’t experience strong fluctuations (The highlighted words are incorrect.) during the given years, it slightly dropped to less than 30% in 2010. In contrast, the most a dramatic decrease was seen in the rate of for the Art Gallery. The percentage of tourists visiting this attraction Art Gallery rose from 21% in 1980 considerably to roughly 38% in 1985 but then from that peak, it fell significantly by 30% over the remainder of the period, ending in fourth place at about 8%. accounted for less than 10% in the last given year.