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Please help me to check this essay. Because this is for the IELTS Writing Task 1 so please correct for me in grammar, vocabulary, sentence and paragraph structures, coherence, cohesion,... Thank you!

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The line graph illustrates the evolution in the cost of share spent of Outokumpu companies in euros over the course of 5 years starting from January 2006.

It observed that in the first month of 2006, the value of share stood at 13 € and rose dramatically to reach over 30€ at the end of 2006. However, by 2007, this upward trend was suddenly broken and the share experienced a significant drop to just roughly 22€, but this was not the last it fell. After that, despite climbing sharply to 30€, the amount of money on share then plunged to approximately 7€ at the last months of 2008. Finally, these was a gradual growth in the profit of share in 2009 and 2010

Overall, how much money earned from the share remained relatively unchanged in the above interval of time. Also, the share was at their highest at the begging of 2007 while the weakest share figures ould be seen at the end of 2008

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Your essay's main mistake is not understanding what the graph is all about. The English is relatively good in terms of grammar and vocabulary.



The line graph illustrates the evolution in the cost of share spent (That is not what the graph shows at all!) of Outokumpu companies in euros over the course of 5 years starting from January 2006.

It observed that in the first month of 2006, the value of (missing word) share stood at 13 € and rose dramatically to reach over 30€ at the end of 2006. However, by 2007, this upward trend was suddenly broken and the share (missing word) experienced a significant drop to just roughly 22€, but this was not the last (missing word) it fell. After that, despite climbing sharply to 30€, the amount of money on share (That is not what is being graphed.) then plunged to approximately 7€ at the last months of 2008. Finally, these was a gradual growth in the profit of share (That is something completely different. The graph has nothing to do with the profits of the company.) in 2009 and 2010

Overall, how much money earned from the share (Again, that is not what the graph shows.) remained relatively unchanged in the above interval of time. Also, the share was at their highest at the begging of 2007 while the weakest share figures ould be seen at the end of 2008 (Missing punctuation.)

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Thank you