Hi everyone, I'm new here, please help me check my writing task 1 and give me some advice. I will really appreciate.

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.


The graph illustrates how many England tourists came to four different Brighton landscape in percentage between 1980 and 2010.

Overall, for most of the time in the period shown, pavilions had the highest proportion of visitors. The tourists who visited festivals in Brighton remained steady over the period.

In 1980, art galleries and pavilions had quite similar figures, at about 22% and 25% respectively. Art galleries experienced a sharply growth in percentage of visitors where it reached its peak at over 35% in 1985. However, this proportion dropped dramatically to under 10% in 2010. Similarly, pavilion's visitors rose to the highest point at about 48%, following by a significant decrease to 30% in 2010.

In the period from 1980 to 2010, percentage of pier's visitors in Brighton rose from 10% to over 20%, despite fluctuation. In contrast, there was a slow decline in the proportion of tourists who visited Brighton festivals, from 30% in 1980 to about 26% in 2010.

Where is the graph?

Sorry, I didn't know how to add the image.

Here's the graph, thank you very much.

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The graph illustrates how many England (wrong form and wrong usage. the tourists were probably not Englishmen.) tourists came to four different Brighton landscape (wrong usage and wrong form. A landscape is a view of country, usually from a high vista. It is a genre of oil painting.) in percentage between 1980 and 2010. (poor placement. The percentage values did not range from 1980% to 2010%)

Overall, for most of the time in the period shown, pavilions (wrong form, see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Royal_Pavilion ) had the highest proportion of visitors. The tourists who visited festivals (wrong form, for the same reason) in Brighton remained steady over the period.

In 1980, art galleries and pavilions had quite similar figures, at about 22% and 25% respectively. Art galleries experienced a sharply growth in percentage of visitors where (not a good word) it reached its peak at over 35% in 1985. However, this proportion dropped dramatically to under 10% in 2010. Similarly, pavilion's visitors rose to the highest point at about 48%, following by a significant decrease to 30% in 2010.

In the period from 1980 to 2010, percentage of pier's visitors (wrong expression) in Brighton rose from 10% to over 20%, despite fluctuation. In contrast, there was a slow decline in the proportion of tourists who visited Brighton festivals, from 30% in 1980 to about 26% in 2010.

Thank you very much, that was really detailed.

Can you tell me which words should I use instead of "where" in paragraph 3 line 2. Also, what do you think about my organization and other things. Which score would you give for this writing?

Thank you a lot, have a nice day.

AlpheccaStarsArt galleries experienced a sharply growth in percentage of visitors. It reached its peak at over 35% in 1985.

From 1980 to 1985, the Brighton Art Gallery attracted an increasing share of the tourist market; at its peak in 1985, 35% of the tourists visited the gallery.

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Khang Lê Which score would you give for this writing?

For the writing itself, I would guess a score of 6.5 or so. However, because you did not understand the task description exactly, your writing was inaccurate. I don't know if the graders would decrease your band score because of that.