The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960.
The diagrams illustrate three different stages in the development of Queen Mary Hospital: 1960, 1980 and 2000.
In general, many changes had taken place in this area between 1960 and 2000. Some new places were built and changed in sizes.
In 1960, a hospital was built close to the road and next to the shopping centre. The area behind the shopping centre was the farmland and the area behind the hospital was turned into a car park.
In 1980, the shopping centre was demolished and two new buildings which were a pharmacy and a cancer centre took place in this area. In addition, the farmland was replaced by a nursing school.
In 2000, the hospital and the pharmacy remained unchanged while the cancer centre was expanded and covered the entire nursing school. At the same time, the car park was divided into two small areas, one of them was the nursing school and the other was the smaller car park, which was half the size of the original one.
The diagrams illustrate three different stages in the development of Queen Mary Hospital: 1960, 1980 and 2000.
In general, many changes had taken place in this area between 1960 and 2000. Some new places were built and changed in sizes. (That is too vague. Pick out the most important changes and report them.)
In 1960, a hospital was built close to the road (vague.) and next to the shopping centre. The area behind the shopping centre was the farmland and the area behind the hospital was turned into (There is no earlier diagram.. You should not indicate that something was changed.) a car park.
In 1980, the shopping centre was demolished and two new buildings which were a pharmacy and a cancer centre took place (wrong word. Events take place. Buildings do not.) in this area. In addition, the farmland was replaced (wrong expression. Generally land is not replaced. It stays there. However it is used for different purposes.) by a nursing school.
In 2000, the hospital and the pharmacy remained unchanged while the cancer centre was expanded and covered (wrong word) the entire nursing school. At the same time, the car park was divided into two small areas, one of them was the nursing school (wrong expression, A nursing school is not an area.) and the other was the smaller car park, which was half the size of the original one.
Your writing is too choppy - not very coherent. Do not write so many detail paragraphs.
Sample essay (~185 words)
The three maps, dated 1960, 1980 and 2000, depict the developments on a rectangular plot of land along the south side of Main Road.
Overall, the most prominent change was the expansion of Queen Mary Hospital, which in 1960 had just been built on the northeast quadrant of this parcel of land. By 2000, it had displaced the large shopping center and also had a nursing school and cancer center. Except for a car park in the southeast corner, healthcare facilities now occupied the entire area.
In detail, in 1960, three-quarters of this land was developed, with a shopping center and Queen Mary Hospital in the northern half along main road, and a car park behind the hospital. The southwest quadrant was undeveloped farmland. Many changes took place between 1960 and 1980. The shopping center was gone, with a pharmacy added to the west side of the hospital building and a separate cancer center to the west of that. A nursing school had been constructed on the farmland. By 2000, the cancer center had expanded southwards at the expense of the nursing school, which was reduced to about half its original size.
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Thank you! This is my first time writing about map so it is kind of awkward, sorry about that!