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This is a task 1 in IELTS test. Please give feedbacks and help me point out the mistakes and give me a band score too! Thank you so much!

Topic: The first chart below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100000 people asking if they travelled abroad and why they traveled for the period 1994-98. The second chart shows theỉ destinationa over the same period.


The table and the chart show the illustration of purpose and destination of UK citizens’ travel from 1994 to 1998. Overall, it can be easily seen that English people tended to travel for holiday purpose most because of the high proportion in the table. And from the chart, UK residents were likely to choose Western Europe as the destination.

Looking at the table, we can see that travelling for vacations accounted for the biggest proportion with more than 15000 in 1994. This figure kept increasing to 20,700 in 1998, more than 70% of the total. Business taken the second position but its figure was much smaller than holiday reasons. The smallest number belonged to other reasons. The figure was fluctuated, it was 982 in 1994 and dropped down a little bit in the next year. After two years going up, it continued to fall down to 990.

For the chart, UK residents tended to choose Western Europe and this figure kept raising although a small dropping down in 1995. On the other hand, North America and other areas accounted for a little proportion in the chart. Other areas stayed balance, but the North America was slightly increased year by year.

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You made a good attempt, and like many learners, make lots of mistakes. These essays are very difficult. You need to learn from your mistakes, and practice more. If you practice a lot, you will learn the math vocabulary required to write about charts and graphs. You need to remember your math classes, too!

Read the advice I have posted.


The table and the (what kind of chart?) chart show the illustration (wrong usage. This makes no sense in English) of purpose and destination of UK citizens’ travel from 1994 to 1998. (You did not describe the figure and table adequately. How many reasons for travel are there? What are they? How many destinations are shown? What are they? What are the values of the data in the table - percentages? numbers? fractions? It is best for the first paragraph to describe the figure, not the information content.)

Overall, it can be easily seen that (Read my advice. It is best not to use "filler" phrases and clauses which have little content. They do not describe the data.) English (wrong word. The English are the citizens of England. The UK includes citizens of Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland too.) people tended to travel for holiday purpose most because of the high proportion in the table. (People do not travel on holiday because of some numbers in a table. They go on holiday because they want to have fun!) And from the chart, UK residents were likely to choose Western Europe as the destination.

Looking at the table, we can see that travelling for vacations accounted for the biggest proportion (proportion would be a faction or percentage. 15000 is not one of these. You need to say "nearly seventy percent" or "seven in ten" Those are expressions of proportion. ) with more than 15000 in 1994. This figure (wrong word) number kept increasing to 20,700 in 1998, more than 70% of the total. (The proportion did not increase. It was about 70% in each of the years. What increased?). ) Business taken (wrong form) the second position but its figure (wrong word) was much smaller than holiday reasons. The smallest number belonged to other reasons. The figure was fluctuated, (wrong words - Both "figure" and "fluctuate" are incorrectly used) it was 982 in 1994 and dropped down a little bit in the next year. After two years going up for two years, it continued (wrong word. Continue means to keep the same pattern, in this case, increasing.) to fall down (wrong verb. Trees sometimes fall down in a storm. They are broken and lying on the ground.) to 990.

For the chart, UK residents tended to choose Western Europe and this figure kept raising although a small dropping down (wrong usage) in 1995. On the other hand, North America and other areas accounted for a small little proportion in the chart. Other areas stayed balance, (wrong word) but the North America was slightly increased year by year.

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Please post essays in the essay forum so a moderator does not have to move your post.
https://www.englishforums.com/English/EssayReportCompositionWriting/Forum9.htm

Please read my advice for Task 1 essays. You make all of the common errors, especially in the vocabulary words "figure" and "fluctuate."

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post



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