Can you check for me, please! I really appreciate your help, thank you very much.

Topic: Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem.

To what extent do you agree with this statement?

My essay:

Some people believe that modern lifestyles can be unhealthy, both physically and mentally, especially in young children. In my opinion that both school and parents are more responsible for influencing a child's lifestyle and they should spend the most time with them.

On the one hand, children spend their whole day at home except 6 hours of the morning, which is in the school. Therefore, school is responsible for educational measures of children by improving their skill and polish it with building their character, and confidence,...etc. Physical activity is encouraged through promoting more competitive and fun games rather than just focus on academic subjects. If children are given the opportunity to participate in outdoor sports, this enhances their fitness and makes sure they are active rather just playing on video games. For example, schools often hold extracurricular activities to help children develop and enhance their skills, which makes them more active and sociable. Moreover, physical education teachers should encourage all children to play as a team rather than just focus on some really active students who prefer to play games than the students who avoid such sports.

Secondly, I believe educational plays a dispensable role in bringing a change in a person’s thinking. For example, students should be encouraged to eat healthy at lunchtimes rather than eating oily, fatty foods such as chocolates and fries. Teachers should emphasize healthy eating in their lectures and force parents to send healthy lunch with their child every day consisting of fruits and water.

Furthermore, it is obvious that kids from their habits by seeing and learning from their families. Children often spend most of the time with their family and they instinctively imitate and follow behaviors they see. Therefore, adults should set a role model for their children. Parents are considered to be a monitor of their child in growing age and they can reform them by giving a practical example. They can guide them and counsel them for their own life. For instance, parents also can put a time limit on the amount of time their child spends on the internet and games and encourage outdoor activity instead. Youth love to spend more time on technology instead of exercising.

In conclusion, schools and parents take responsibility for children's unhealthy lifestyle and the children should raise their awareness of this problem. Both teachers and parents play a vital role in educating and enforcing a healthy lifestyle.

You might be interested in:

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Please Help Me Review My Essay

Topic: Nowadays many adults have full-time jobs and the proportion of their lives spent on work is very high. Some of them are under high stress and ignore other parts of life...

Please Help Me To Review May Essay (Ielts Writing Academic Task 2)

The only way to improve safety of our roads is to give much stricter punishments for driving offences. What extent do you agree or disagree? Some people argue that driving offences...


Hi! I'm preparing for the IELTS test and i have written this letter, but i don't know is it good or bad. Can you please correct it? This is the answer for general training task...

Would You Please Check My IELTS Writing Task 2 Introduction Paragraph[Thanks!]

Could you please help me review this paragraph and make any correction if needed (grammar...misused word, and so on)? Topic: Some people think the advantages of international...

Please Help Me !!!!! Task 2 Writing IELTS.....***

I am from VIETNAM. i have some problem about task 2 writing ielts... some topic...i need some idea because i want to improve skill writing... i hope everyone help me.. thanks...