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First and foremost, I would like to say thanks in advance to whoever spends their time looking at my work. As a person starting to learn to write properly by myself, I really need your help. I truly appreciate getting your help along the way. Thanks for your kindness. Have a nice day!

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. Do the advantages of having a year off outweigh the disadvantages?

These days, there is an increasing number of students taking a gap year. While some people oppose having a year off after finishing high school due to its disadvantage, I firmly believe that the pros prevail over the cons.

There are many reasons why people object to taking a gap year. The main demerit is that delay in academic progress results in the decrease of knowledge. In other words, students may fail to recall the knowledge they learned when they embark on university due to a long interval in school. Therefore, they may feel like falling behind their peers or even lose interest in studying. Secondly, taking a gap year costs a large amount of money by wasting on vacations. That can make gappers have to tight their budget and work hard to make ends meet.

In contrast, I think that these benefits are significant, far outweighing the downsides. To commence with, taking a sabbatical is an ideal opportunity for gappers to expand their knowledge and social network. Because students can discover novel things like brand-new cultures, longstanding traditions, and mythical taboos through traveling, they can become open-minded people who embrace cultural differences. Moreover, they can form their friendship with many friends from different places. As a result, it opens up a lot of business and educational opportunities in the future.

Another strong point is that gap-year takers can build up their resumes. Involving in an entry-level job, internship, or volunteering gives them vital skills and hands-on experience. That hugely impresses their prospective employers, leading to higher chances to get their dream jobs.

In conclusion, despite some negative aspects, it seems to me that the benefits of a gap year are more important for the reasons mentioned.



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These days, there is are an increasing number of students taking a gap year. While some people oppose having a year off after finishing high school due to its disadvantage, (You indicate that there is only one disadvantage. Just name it.) I firmly believe that the pros prevail over the cons. (You contradict yourself by indicating that there is more than one.)

There are many reasons why people object to students taking a gap year. The main demerit (wrong word. Demerit is very rare, and not a synonym of disadvantage. ) problem is that delay in academic progress results in the decrease of knowledge. In other words, students may fail to recall what the knowledge (wrong usage. Knowledge is what you know. You an increase your knowledge, but you cannot learn it.) they learned when they embark on university due to a long interval in school. (That makes no sense. A long interval in school might be a continuous four-year study program. ) Therefore, they may feel like falling behind their peers (When you feel like something, you want to do it. e.g. I feel like going for a walk = I want to go on a walk. Do students want to fall behind their peers?) or even lose interest in studying. Secondly, taking a gap year costs a large amount of money by wasting on vacations. (That makes no sense. It is not good English because "wasting" needs an object. "She is wasting ..." has a different meaning. It means that she is getting sicker and sicker. ) That can make gappers have to tight (Wrong word. "Tight" is an adjective. e.g. I have gained weight. My clothes are too tight.) their budget and work hard to make ends meet.

In contrast, I think that these benefits (You did not give the reader any benefits. "These" refers to something already known.) are significant, far outweighing the downsides. To commence with, taking a sabbatical (Wrong word. A sabbatical is used for a professor or lecturer who takes leave for a year or two to teach at a different university.) is an ideal opportunity for gappers to expand their knowledge and social network. Because students can discover novel things like brand-new cultures, (Cultures do not get invented every day! They are not brand new like shoes or clothes.) longstanding traditions, and mythical taboos through traveling, they can become open-minded people who embrace cultural differences. Moreover, they can form their friendship (Only one?) with many friends from different places. As a result, it opens up a lot of business and educational opportunities in the future.

(This is part of the "benefits" paragraph. Do not make it separate.) Another strong point is that gap-year takers can build up their resumes. Involving (wrong word) Working in an entry-level job, internship, or volunteering gives them vital skills and hands-on experience. That hugely (Huge and big are juvenile words. Avoid them in academic writing.) greatly impresses their prospective employers, leading to higher chances to get their dream jobs.

In conclusion, despite some negative aspects, it seems to me that the benefits of a gap year are more important for the reasons mentioned. (give a brief list ) because of the experiences, friendships and knowledge that can be gained.

Comments  
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That's very kind of you to give me feedback about my essay. Can I ask you a question? How do you think about my transformation following? I intend to replace "due to a long interval in school" by due to delay in academic progress".

Finally, I can't thank you enough. I will try my best to improve my writing by practicing every day. Thank you very much. Have a nice day!

Nguyễn Ánh 6860I intend to replace "due to a long interval in school" by due to delay in academic progress".

Original sentence:

In other words, students may fail to recall the knowledge they learned when they embark on university due to a long interval in school.

Is this the proposed sentence?

In other words, students may fail to recall the knowledge they learned when they embark on university due to delay in academic progress.

It is not very good, either. Here is something that is much more native English.

In other words, during this long break students may forget what they learned in high school.  When they enroll in university, they may have to take refresher courses or study independently to compensate for this delay in academic progress.
I got it. I will try my best to improve my writing. Finally, words can't describe how thankful I am. Give you the best wishes!
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