Please help me check my IELTS essay. Thank you with all my heart

Some people believe that everyone has the right to receive university education, so the government should make it free to all people regardless of their financial background. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that government should pay tuition fees for students, no matter who they are or where they come from. In my opinion, I do not agree with this idea.

If the governments accepted the proposal to waive tuition fees for university students, they would face a heavy burden on national budgets. The government must spend an extra amount of money on maintaining learning facilities and employing qualified tutors, lecturers, and teachers each year. Thus, the authority must cut down spending on the necessary community services such as healthcare, public construction, and so forth. This means that government faces the dilemma of whether to increase taxes to ensure community service or decrease the quality of these services.

Apart from the practical concerns expressed above, I also believe that it also has a negative impact on students who attend college for free. For me, the best motivation is money, young students who have no longer worry about financial anxiety can easily be seduced by temptations. They take time to hand out and immerse themselves into parties with friends, and over time they get low scores at the university and do not want to study anymore. Besides, the quality of college education will decrease, for example, if there are too many students on campus and classes are quite crowded, chances are that teachers will not be able to answer all of the questions properly.

In conclusion, although the selection of free university education brings many benefits to students who come from poor families, in the long term, I personally believe that college education should not be free.

Ginnie HulaTo what extent do you agree or disagree?

Please copy the instructions accurately.

It is argued that government should pay tuition fees for students, no matter who they are or where they come from. In my opinion, (The verb "agree" expresses an opinion, so that phrase is totally useless and redundant.) I do not agree with this idea. (why? Give the reader one hint.)


The essay prompt is "To what extent...?" So you are more precise in your answer if you use an adverb of extent.

It is good to know a good handful of adverbs of extent because this is a very common prompt in IELTS Task 2 essays.

Complete agreement / disagreement:
------------

completely
fully
totally
wholeheartedly
unreservedly
with no reservations
without reservation
unequivocally
unquestionably
with no hesitation
unconditionally

Partial agreement / disagreement:
----------------

somewhat
partially
partly
to some extent / to a limited extent / to a point
with (some / certain / a few) reservations
conditionally

Slight agreement / disagreement:
----------------

a little (bit)
slightly
--------------------


If the governments accepted the proposal to waive tuition fees for university students, they would face a difficult decision on how to fund the program. heavy burden on national budgets. The government must spend an extra amount of money on maintaining learning the facilities and employing qualified tutors, lecturers, and teachers each year. Thus, the authority to balance the budget, they must cut down spending on other categories the necessary community services such as healthcare, public infrastructure, pensions construction, and defense and so forth. This means that government faces the dilemma of whether to increase taxes to ensure community service or decrease the quality of these services.

Apart from these practical monetary concerns (The purpose of the demonstrative adjectives is to avoid phrases such as "mentioned above" "aforementioned" and the like. Be like a native speaker and use the natural demonstratives.) expressed above, I also believe that (Do not write your position in the body paragraphs. The body paragraphs are to present arguments supporting the thesis in the opening paragraph.) it also has a negative impact on students who attend college for free. For me, The best motivation for a student to apply themselves when they are in university is money, (comma splice error) young students who have no longer worries about financial anxiety matters can easily be seduced by temptations. They take time for entertainment and parties. to hand out (wrong word) and immerse themselves into parties with friends, and over time they get low scores at the university and do not want to study anymore. Besides, the quality of college education will decrease, for example, if there are too many students on campus and classes are quite crowded, chances are that teachers will not be able to answer all of the questions properly.

In conclusion, although the selection of free university education brings many benefits to students who come from poor families, in the long term, I personally believe that college education should not be free.