In some countries, small town-center shops are going out of business because people tend to drive to large out-of-town stores. As a result, people without cars have limited access to out-of-town stores, and it may result in an increase in the use of cars. Do you think the disadvantages of this change outweigh its advantages?

In some nations, since shoppers are opting for large out-of-town shops, those located outside metropolises are prone to closure. This, in turn, leads to the increasing volume of traffic when people begin to buy cars to follow the tendency. Personally, I firmly believe that the upsides of this are eclipsed by its downsides as it may disadvantage urban shoppers, suburban residents, and manual workers.

First, driving to hypermarkets can offer a more comfortable and favorable shopping atmosphere for shoppers. Unarguably, suburban stores would not likely be much affected by the perpetually increasing volume of vehicles, especially during rush hours in the city centers, hence a quieter and less congested area. However, this experience can be easily shattered when more and more people drive their vehicles to those stores.

Second, the cost of goods in hypermarkets is universally regarded cheaper than that in the city due to several reasons such as lower rent and lower wages for workers. Consequently, people are more content to move to these shopping locations to purchase the same items at a more reasonable price. In fact, as more and more people divert their shopping activities to those out-of-town supermarkets, the retailers may try to capitalize on this to gain as much money as possible by certain methods namely raising the cost of goods. Thus, after a while, clients are perversely supposed to pay as much as they used to in the city.

Moreover, the tendency to shop at such locations may also complicate the lives of manual workers. For example, service staff and security guards may struggle to find a new occupation, as most of them are not properly educated ones, who run a higher risk of being jobless than anyone else. Indeed, most of them cannot afford a car to go shopping at those far-off supermarkets, which will possibly further inconvenience their daily lives.

In conclusion, I strongly opine that not only does the shift towards shopping in large out-of-town stores spoil the shopping experience of most people, but also exacerbates the already difficult lives of certain workers.

Hi, where did you find that question? Can you provide a link please?

Hi, sorry for my late reply. You can find that question from several links (these links are just some examples) and I'm quite sure that the question is from a real test:
https://zim.vn/giai-de-va-bai-mau-ielts-writing-cho-chu-de-business
https://ieltsunlocked.wordpress.com/2019/03/21/ielts-real-test-essays-advantages-and-disadvantages-small-vs-big-stores/
https://www.facebook.com/MrsTrangIELTS/posts/2129116503810702/
Thanks a lot, hope I can receive your feedback ^^

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I'm not so sure about that. It's logic seems flawed. It says:

“People tend to drive to large out-of-town stores” (---------> and that causes) “small town-center shops are going out of business” (---------> and that causes) “an increase in the use of cars”.

In some nations, since shoppers are opting for prefer going to large out-of-town shops, those located outside inside metropolises are prone to closure. This, in turn, leads to the increasing an increase in the volume of traffic. when people begin to buy cars to follow the tendency. Personally, I firmly believe that the upsides of this are eclipsed by its downsides as it may disadvantage urban shoppers, suburban residents, and manual workers.

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- You wrote over 300 words. In the actual exam, you simply do not have enough time for that.

- Your first body paragraph (apart from the start of it) is unclear.

- You should avoid repeating (restating) the same point, sentence after sentence. Instead, present a point, explain it briefly, and then give an example to convince the reader.

- I have absolutely no idea what the third body paragraph is trying to show.

I suggest that you write two clear body paragraphs (one about the advantages and another about the disadvantages) and keep an eye on your word count. Revise and post below.

Hi, I tried my best not to exceed the word count, but I still cannot manage to keep it under 300 words. Here is the revised version:

Since shoppers prefer going to large shops on the outskirts of towns, those located in the downtown area are prone to closure. This, in turn, leads to an increase in the volume of traffic and access issues for non-vehicle owners. Personally, the drawbacks of this trend far eclipse its benefits.

One of the cogent demerits of shopping at hypermarkets is the spiraling cost of goods. Unarguably, once these large corporations monopolize the market, they may try to seize the initiative in maximizing their profits by raising the cost of goods. As a result, clients are perversely required to waste time driving to such remote locations and even pay as much as they used to in the town.

A further disadvantage is the lives of manual workers will be seriously complicated. For example, cleaning staff and security guards, mostly improperly educated individuals, may struggle to find a new occupation when their organizations close, thus running a higher risk of being jobless than anyone else. Thus, if they want to sustain their monthly income, they may resort to moving their residence to downtown areas or buying suitable transport to commute to work, which even burdens them with financial difficulties.

However, there are some merits associated with this shift in shopping habits, one of which is that it affords a comfortable and favorable atmosphere. Unarguably, suburban areas would unlikely be much affected by the substantial number of vehicles on the streets during rush hours, hence a quieter and less crowded shopping environment. Thus, should people shop at out-of-town stores, they will possibly find this activity more pleasurable and rewarding.

In conclusion, I completely agree that the disadvantages of shopping at hypermarkets, such as incremental costs of items and the worsening lives of the middle-working class prevail over its upsides namely a satisfying shopping experience. However, the government should provide redundancy payments or offer unemployed manual workers jobs once their organizations stop operating.

Since [ 1] many shoppers nowadays prefer going to large shops on the outskirts of towns, those located in the downtown area are prone to closure. This, in turn, leads to an increase in the volume of traffic and disadvantages those without cars. access issues for non-vehicle owners. I personally believe that the drawbacks of this trend far eclipse its benefits.

One of the cogent demerits of shopping at hypermarkets is the spiraling cost of goods. Unarguably, once these large corporations monopolize the market, they may try to seize the initiative in maximizing their profits by raising the cost of goods. As a result, clients are perversely required to waste time driving to such remote locations and even pay as much as they used to in the town. [ 2]

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[ 1]: Without a qualifier like “many”, you’re saying “all shoppers ...”

[ 2]: That is actually false. The whole point of those hypermarkets is that they cut costs because their rents are cheaper and they can buy in bulk.

In fact, the points in your body paragraphs are not convincing. You need to think of better ones. Brainstorm and try to complete the following two lists. I’ve helped you with some of the points you can use:

Advantages of large out-of-town stores:

- Cheaper prices (lower rents and bulk buying)

- Wide variety of items all under one roof.

-

Disadvantages of large out-of-town stores:

- local store closure, and unemployment in towns

- need to have a car to get to them (more traffic congestion and pollution)

-

Then, write only one paragraph for the advantages and one for the disadvantages. When you’ve completed those body paragraphs, post them below.

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