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Please assess my writing, thank you so much!

Topic:

Spoken communication is more powerful than written communication. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

(Write at least 250 words)

Answer:

For the time being, a myriad of people opine that verbal communication can eclipse the written form. Although written communication may bring about short-term convenience for speakers, I still support spoken form in light of its efficiency in communicating.

On the one hand, people feel more at ease keeping contact with their acquaintances through written messages. For instance, during the period when the Internet still did not exist, the only method to correspond with faraway siblings and friends was letters and faxes, which are replaced by direct messages delivered via social media nowadays. Both ways act as a catalyst for effective communication regardless of the distance between people. Besides, this traditional method of communicating can free people from traveling off the beaten track to be in touch with their relatives, but still guarantee the quality of the conversation.

On the other hand, in spite of the aforementioned benefit of written communication, spoken form completely outshines it on grounds of numerous benefits. First and foremost, as the unwritten one happens in accompany with physical figures and facial expressions, those manners convey lots of underlying meanings at the same time. By means of intonation and emotion incorporated into their speech, communicators can virtually get more involved in the conversation and establish a reasonable understanding of others’ attitudes. Therefore, direct communication can guide us to exchange information more successfully. Following this, oral discussion helps assist the progress of team-working and eliminate any troubles spawn in the middle of the debate. Without waiting a long time for a written reply being sent to continue the dialogue, direct communication enables people to confront each other and solve the problems together as soon as possible. As a result, the efficiency of working and productivity will be remarkably boosted in the long run.

All things considered, I hold a firm belief that verbal conversation overshadows that carried out in written form by dint of the above reasons. Consequently, people should take advantage of oral communication to get a better grasp of information and save their time.

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Hà Minh To what extent do you agree or disagree?

That is the essay prompt. You did not answer the essay prompt clearly.

The examiner is looking for an answer to this question: To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is good to know a good handful of adverbs of extent because this is a very common prompt in IELTS Task 2 essays.

Complete agreement / disagreement:
------------

completely
fully
totally
wholeheartedly
unreservedly
with no reservations
without reservation
unequivocally
unquestionably
with no hesitation
unconditionally

Partial agreement / disagreement:
----------------

somewhat
partially
partly
to some extent / to a limited extent / to a point
with (some / certain / a few) reservations
conditionally

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Hà MinhSpoken communication is more powerful than written communication. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is best (and easiest) to answer the opinion type of essay by taking one side or the other. It is quite tricky to answer an opinion essay when you are sitting on the fence.

You will have a chance at a much higher band score by taking one view and defending your opinion with arguments that support it. Use personal experiences and knowledge.

Learn to answer the five different essay types.

This task is NOT advantages/disadvantages. It is NOT "discuss both views and give your opinion"

You will get a much higher "Task Response" score by writing definitively and clearly.

"on the one hand / on the other hand" are NOT appropriate transition phrases for an opinion essay. (Type 1)

Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
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You wrote about 340 words. That is too long. The minimum is 250. You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high band scores. And there are many reasons for this.

First, the longer the essay, the more chances you have to make errors, and you will lose points for each of those errors.

Second, your writing may be repetitious and wordy. This will cost you points in task response or coherence and cohesion.

Third, you will likely stray off-topic, and examiners will deduct points if you are not focused on the topic. Do not write about things that are not specifically given in the task. You will also be tempted to use weak or unsound arguments or even lose your direction and contradict yourself. Develop just two or three argument points with examples and personal experiences. It is much better to have two well-developed and fleshed-out argument points than to have four which are just individual separate statements.

Fourth, you will spend a lot of time writing, and not have sufficient time left over to proofread your essay. You will miss the silly mistakes, which everyone makes, and that lowers your score.

Fifth, you will not have enough time for Task 1, and get a lower score there. You should allow 40 minutes for task and 20 minutes for Task 1. The word counts are designed so that you have ample time for brainstorming and then writing the two parts.

Aim to write around 270 words for Task 2. Practice writing a lot of essays so you get a feeling for the length.
You can use this word counter: https://www.ieltsscore.com/word-counter/

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For the time being, (This means a temporary situation that is expected to change. It is not good here.)

a myriad

(That is not used correctly. "Myriad" is for hyperbole - extreme exaggeration - or for poetic imagery.)

A myriad bluebonnets dot the hills in the springtime.


Exaggeration / frustration:

Every time I meet up with Jane, she keeps me waiting a half hour late or even more. She can come up with a myriad excuses!



of people opine

(I never use this word in everyday speaking or writing. It is for legal contexts or very old fashioned text. It can be used to be humorous as a joke, as if you are pretending to be an Einstein lawyer.)

that verbal communication can eclipse

(Poor word choice. It is better than your others, but still not idiomatic. It does not fit this context.)

the written form. Although written communication may bring about short-term convenience for speakers, I still support spoken form in light of its efficiency in communicating.

(You really did not comprehend this topic well.)

On the one hand, people feel more at ease keeping contact with their acquaintances through written messages. For instance, during the period when the Internet still did not exist, before the internet and email, the only method to correspond with faraway siblings and friends was with / by letters and faxes, which are replaced by direct messages delivered via social media nowadays. (With the present-tense verb, "nowadays" is redundant.) Both ways (I am not sure what "both ways" refers to because you have cited three, not two.) act as a catalyst for effective communication regardless of the distance between people. Besides, this traditional method (Which method are you talking about? Letters or FAXes?) of communicating can free people from traveling off the beaten track (Free from something means they are not obligated to do it. Are people obligated to travel off the beaten track?) to be in touch with their relatives, but still guarantee the quality of the conversation.

On the other hand, in spite of the aforementioned (I never ever use this word. It is horribly old-fashioned and stilted. Take it off your vocab list. Native speakers use demonstrative adjectives. ) this benefit of written communication, spoken form completely outshines it on grounds of numerous benefits. (awkward) First and foremost, as the unwritten one (unnatural) happens in accompany (wrong word) with physical figures (wrong word) and facial expressions, (comma splice error) those manners convey lots of underlying meanings at the same time. By means of intonation and emotion incorporated into their speech, communicators can virtually get more involved in the conversation and establish a reasonable understanding of others’ attitudes. Therefore, direct communication can guide us to exchange information more successfully. Following this, oral discussion helps assist the progress of team-working and eliminate any troubles spawn in the middle of the debate. (wrong unnatural, ungrammatical) Without waiting a long time for a written reply being sent to continue the dialogue, direct communication enables people to confront each other and solve the problems together as soon as possible. As a result, the efficiency of working and productivity will be remarkably boosted in the long run.

All things considered, I hold a firm belief that verbal conversation overshadows that carried out in written form by dint (wrong word) of the above reasons. Consequently, people should take advantage of oral communication to get a better grasp of information and save their time.

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Many students think that if they use high-level vocabulary, and long, complicated sentences they will get a higher band score. This is a false impression. One of the four scoring criteria for Task 2 is "Lexical Resource." A student with a high level of lexical resource not only knows many words, but they know how to use them. Here are the descriptors:

Band score 7:

- uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
- uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation
- may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation

Band score 6:

- uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task
- attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy
- makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation, but they do not impede communication

So it is much better to use vocabulary you know well than to make a lot of errors with words you are uncertain about.

Students: We have free audio pronunciation exercises.
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I wrote a sample essay on this topic. The word "powerful" is the critical word in the task. Note the vocabulary for "powerful."


This essay is too long for IELTS, but it will give you an idea of how a native speaker would respond to the question. Note the specific examples in the essay, rather than broad generalizations that have little support.


The two major modes of human communication are speech and writing. Both can be used to influence others to accomplish a task, exchange information or to argue a point of view. I completely agree that in the immediate moment, the short term, speaking is much more powerful than words on paper; however, from the long term view of history, the written word has much more lasting impact.

The power of the spoken word is undeniable. In 1945, the great leader, Ho Chi Minh, gave an inspiring speech on the rights of the Vietnamese people to govern themselves, just as the Americans declared their independence in 1776 and the French in 1791. His great speeches and determined leadership convinced common men, mostly simple farmers, to give up everything, even their lives, to fight for freedom. One characteristic of all great leaders, generals and politicians is to be able to sway public opinion to their cause. All politicians have to win elections by forceful speech; for them it is the only way to be successful. It is not just the words, but the emotion and passion of the speaker that makes them incredibly effective. They use the power of the spoken word to change the world around them.

However, the written word is even more impactful because speech only reaches the few people within earshot of the speaker, but, when written down, it can be read by millions. Even more important, the written word will survive the author. This is exemplified in the holy books of all major religions, since neither the Buddha, nor Confucius, nor Muhammad nor Christ were literate. Their followers heard their teachings and, perhaps many years later, wrote them down to be preserved. These scriptures are revered by millions, even billions of people today.

So in the moment, a glorious speech with inspirational words can instigate major changes in the world, possibly affecting many generations after the leader has passed away. But to sway millions and even billions of people throughout history, there is nothing as important as the written word.

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Thank you so much for your comments. Would you mind checking my essay again after I rewrite it?