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please check my errors and give my possible band score. thanks;))

Write about the following topic.

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?


In the world, a distance among developed and developing countries is more and more enormous. Therefore, residents in rich areas have a tendency to give a lot of kind of supports for the rest countries without providing them money. From my perspectives, I agree with that view and will explain out my several compelling reasons.

On the one hand, relief people staying in the poor regions is completely crucial. Citizens there will provide a lot of latest facilities or equiments, which is to enhance and better their lives. They not only have more knowledge and special skills but also comforts may be existed in living standard in the future. Let take a typical example, imaging that artificial intelligence have never existed before in their work leading to maintaining poverty situation, however, when applying hi-tech, products are manufactured tremendously and make works more efficient. Additionally, the rich will control items they gave instead of fearing the poor waste their money in insignificant activities.

On the other hand, I quite disagree with that view due to the fact that donating many things with the exception of money is meaningless. In some cases, people need cash in emergencies such as accidents or diseases. So, the relief from the rich become barking up the wrong tree, which these things may be useless. Moreover, they even do not enable to buy their most essential things while a numerous unexcepted things are provided.

In conclusion, from many ideas mentioned, I think people, especially the wealthy, should have more solutions when having an donative intention. People also should concern about the things we give in many different situations.

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CJ