Nowadays, society has developed rapidly and many people in cities prefer living individually or in small families to living with their parents and grandparents. I believe this is a positive trend. Firstly, this essay will discuss, living alone can help people develop themselves. Secondly, it will discuss the positive changes and improvements in the mental health of adults.

Firstly, people can be mature. They can improve many soft skills which can not be practiced while living with large or extended families. According to a survey conducted by the University of Economics Ho Chi Minh City, 80% of students met a lot of difficulties when starting individual life without adults. It's due to their dependence on their parents. For instance, a child can train their survival skills such as cooking skills or going grocery... it can be developed just when living alone.

Secondly, people can develop the spirit. Most adults usually just take care of their physical healths, not mental healths. When living individually, they have a space to relax and look at themselves, their soul. It helps people enhance their comprehension of themselves. For instance, many studies of Yale University suggest that people taking care of the soul have good mental healths and work more efficiently. This lifestyle is more and more popular, which is favored by the younger.

In summary, in my view, there are more many positive elements than negative, as there are clear benefits to individuals living alone or in small family units. So, those living away from large groups can develop survival skills and take care of mental health.

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Put it with your answer in the message body.

Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:


Topic:

In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large, extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend?


My essay:

(Your text here...)
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Nowadays, society has developed rapidly (I don't know what you mean. Is it that society is more urban? That families are more disbursed? That people move more than they used to? You need to be clear in your meaning.) and many people in cities prefer living individually or in small families to living with their parents and grandparents. I believe this is a positive trend because Firstly, this essay will discuss, living alone can help people develop themselves and that results in Secondly, it will discuss the positive changes and improvements in the mental health of adults.


Never mention your essay. The examiner knows you are writing an essay. They know the essay prompt and the topic. Do not tell them these things. Instead, write a thesis statement that answers the essay prompt with a very brief statement of your main idea.. Only a few tweaks to your text got your essay on the right path.


Firstly, First, living alone changes young people to be mature, responsible adults. people can be mature. (People can be mature is not a convincing statement. It needs context.) They can improve many soft skills which can not be practiced while living with large or extended families. According to a survey conducted by the University of Economics Ho Chi Minh City, 80% of the students met faced a lot of difficulties when they moved out of their parent's home. starting individual life without adults. It's (Do not use contractions in formal writing.) due to their dependence on their parents. For instance, a mother can train a child in can train their survival skills such as cooking skills or going grocery... (Do not use ellipses, "etc." or phrases like "and so on" in formal writing. Complete the sentence.) it and these skills can be developed just when living alone.

Secondly, Second, people can develop their unique individuality. the spirit. Most adults usually just take care of their physical healths, (Wrong form) not mental healths. (Wrong form) When living individually, they have a space to relax and look at themselves, their soul. It helps people to know enhance their comprehension of themselves, and have self-assuredness. For instance, many studies of Yale University suggest that people taking care of the soul themselves have good mental healths (Wrong form) and work more efficiently. This lifestyle is more and more popular, which is favored by the younger.

In summary, in my view, there are many more many positive elements than negative, as there are clear benefits to individuals living alone or in small family units. So, those living away from large groups can develop survival skills and take care of their mental health.