The bar chart compares 10 to 15 year-old adolescents in terms of their amount of time spend chatting online and playing computer games in the UK.
It is manifest from the chart that both two genders prefer playing games consoles to chatting online. While most of boys tends to play on games consoles, chatting on the Internet appeals to the majority of girls.
According to the chart, approximately 85% boys aged between 10 and 15 spend time on gaming daily compared to only 55% of those text and chat online. Meanwhile the vast majority of boys play computer games for more than one hour each day, one tenth do the same activity for four hours or more.
Regarding to the counterpart, much of their time engages in online conversation. It is witnessed that roughly 70% of 10 to 15 year-old girls have online conversations while the cohort for playing games per day is just over a half. Of the girls going into texting and chatting on the Internet, 60% spend one hour or more daily texting and nearly 10% chat for four hour or more, conversely, most girls favor playing computer games for less than an hour.
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Please read my advice for Task 1 essays:
nguyenmaithanhthaoIt is manifest from the chart
That is non-productive and has no information reported. Delete such useless "filler".
nguyenmaithanhthao both two genders
That is quite bad English. Both is the same as two, and we do not use "gender" like that.
"both girls and boys"
nguyenmaithanhthaoin terms of theiramount of time spend
Just write what is plotted on the bar chart.
"Spend" is not the correct verb form.
nguyenmaithanhthaoAccording to the chart,
That is non-productive and has no information reported. Delete such useless "filler".
nguyenmaithanhthao85% boys
Incorrect phrase.
There are smart boys, good boys and handsome boys, but no 85% boys. That has no meaning.
nguyenmaithanhthaoRegarding to the counterpart,
That is not good English.
I think you mean the girls.
nguyenmaithanhthaomuch of their time engages
wrong subject-verb combination.
Time does not engage in anything. It cannot do that.