In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?
-----------

In the twenty-first century, humans have researched and developed successfully many technologies to enhance living conditions and some of them are considered as great evolutions such as 5G, Internet, smartphones, robots, and temperature and moisture sensors. Thanks to those new technologies, billion tons of agricultural foods are produced each year and people provide those products to every country. However, famine still happens in some places, which is an extremely serious circumstance that needs to be solved as soon as possible.

On the one hand, foods are one of the most crucial factors to keep people alive and the lack of foods may cause dangerous and serious consequences. Obviously, people who live in famished areas may tend to earn foods instinctively even those behaviors may be rude and injurious. On the other hand, famine may happen in a few countries which have political crises and people who live in those countries cannot remain cultivation or any food supply chains. In addition to that, health care needs to be considered especially caring for children. Unlike adults, children need enough nutrients for mental and physical growth. The shortage of food is the primary reason for malnutrition in children which leads to abnormal development of children’s body and brain. Furthermore, children who are in low living conditions usually get a poor quality education because they must struggle against starvation early. Therefore, unwell-educated children cannot change their life when they become adults even many opportunities arise. For example, in Vietnam, the minority of children who live in the West-North region in Northern have propensity to drop middle school because their parents are not able to afford the educational fee, besides, those parents usually move to large cities for earning money and they have their sons and daughters cultivate at fields, but the quality of the harvest is low because of intensive climate. Consequently, the region where those children locate cannot catch up on the development of the rest of the country and the lives of people there may not be changed in the near future.

I think the most obvious solution is to appeal to international help especially humanitarian organizations such as The United Nations Children's Fund and Food and Agriculture Organization. Specifically, developing countries where famine still happens may associate with the Food and Agriculture Organization in order to call for food aid from the international community. Besides, the government of those countries should establish a fund to support poor children and encourage them to go to school by sponsoring the entire educational fee. On the other hand, the developed world may become the supporters that may deliver a part of agricultural products to other countries which are in influences of disasters or intensive climate. Moreover, the further measure is to transform the agricultural technologies to enhance the quality of cultivation as well as preventing famished spread.

In conclusion, although a multitude of technologies made for improving agriculture, many people still are hungry because of unexpected reasons such as disables, diseases, or intensive weather, but it is preventable. To solve this case, every country should co-operate in solidarity to change the basic living conditions of poverty over the world.

You wrote 530 words. The minimum is 250. You should write about 160-190.

the length of your essay will not cost you points. However, writing a long essay will almost certainly go off-topic. Your essay is mostly off-topic. There is nothing in the instructions about education, working conditions or moving.

You will lose lots of points for that.


In the twenty-first century, humans have researched and developed successfully many technologies to enhance living conditions and some of them are considered as great evolutions (wrong word) such as 5G, Internet, smartphones, robots, (Do hungry people eat 5G or smartphones or robots? Those are not agricultural advancements. The topic is world hunger. Your first sentence must tell the examiner that you understand the topic. Advances in agriculture are things like fertilizers, insecticides, genetically modified seeds and farming techniques to produce higher yields.) and temperature and moisture sensors. Thanks to those new technologies, billion tons of agricultural foods are produced each year and people provide those products to every country. However, famine still happens in some places, which is an extremely serious circumstance that needs to be solved as soon as possible.


You did not address the essay prompts. You must do this in your first paragraph:

Why is this the case?
What can be done about this problem?

Here is an example opening paragraph.
The three sentences directly answer the essay prompts

Sentence 1: Background, paraphrasing the topic:

Improvement in seeds, fertilizers, insecticides and farming techniques have resulted in a global food production sufficient to feed everyone.

Sentence #2: Why do people still go hungry?

Yet, the harvest is not efficiently delivered to the poorest people in society, and much of it goes to waste, so there are many who starve to death.

Sentence #3: What can be done?

This is an issue which can be solved with cooperation of all the countries in the world.


The yellow highlight are wrong words or unnatural collocations.

On the one hand, foods are one of the most crucial factors to keep people alive and the lack of foods may cause dangerous and serious consequences. Obviously, people who live in famished areas may tend to earn foods instinctively even those behaviors may be rude and injurious. (Off topic. The essay is not about the behavior of hungry people.) On the other hand, famine may happen in a few countries which have political crises and people who live in those countries cannot remain cultivation or any food supply chains. In addition to that, health care needs to be considered especially caring for children. (Off topic) Unlike adults, (So adults do not need any nutrients?) children need enough nutrients for mental and physical growth. The shortage of food is the primary reason for malnutrition in children which leads to abnormal development of children’s body and brain. Furthermore, children who are in low living conditions usually get a poor quality education (off-topic) because they must struggle against starvation early. Therefore, unwell-educated children cannot change their life when they become adults even many opportunities arise. (Off-topic) For example, in Vietnam, the minority of children who live in the West-North region in Northern have propensity to drop middle school because their parents are not able to afford the educational fee, (Off-topic) besides, those parents usually move to large cities for earning money and they have their sons and daughters cultivate at fields, but the quality of the harvest is low because of intensive climate. Consequently, the region where those children locate cannot catch up on the development of the rest of the country and the lives of people there may not be changed in the near future. (Off-topic)

I think the most obvious solution is to appeal to international help especially humanitarian organizations such as The United Nations Children's Fund and Food and Agriculture Organization. Specifically, developing countries where famine still happens may associate with the Food and Agriculture Organization in order to call for food aid from the international community. Besides, the government of those countries should establish a fund to support poor children and encourage them to go to school by sponsoring the entire educational fee. On the other hand, the developed world may become the supporters that may deliver a part of agricultural products to other countries which are in influences of disasters or intensive climate. Moreover, the further measure is to transform the agricultural technologies to enhance the quality of cultivation as well as preventing famished spread.

In conclusion, although a multitude of technologies made for improving agriculture, many people still are hungry because of unexpected reasons such as disables, diseases, or intensive weather, but it is preventable. To solve this case, every country should co-operate in solidarity to change the basic living conditions (Off-topic) of poverty over the world.



Here is a sample essay:

Paragraph 1: Answer the essay topic and give a thesis statement

Paragraph 2: Main point: there is a sufficient supply of food.

Paragraph 3: Main point: there is global hunger

Paragraph 4: Main point: There are several solutions for world hunger

Paragraph 5: Conclusion

(285 words)

Improvement in farming techniques have resulted in a global food production sufficient to feed everyone. Yet, this bountiful harvest does not reach the poorest people, and much of it goes to waste, so there are many who starve to death. World hunger is a problem which can be solved with cooperation of all the countries in the world. (Thesis statement)

Wheat, rice, corn and other staples, which can easily be stored and transported, are produced in great quantities in countries with optimum growing conditions. The reasons for this are higher yielding crops (from genetically modified seeds), fertilizer, insecticides and sophisticated mechanized farming equipment. The United Nations reports that the raw supply of food is adequate to feed every person.

Ironically, despite this "Green Revolution", one in three people in the world go hungry every day. One reason is short-term famine caused by droughts or floods. Another is extreme poverty, such as when people in the slums of cities simply cannot afford to buy enough food to sustain them.

The United Nations Children's Fund and Food and Agriculture Organization has laid out a solution to solve this problem. First, there must be a global network of food storage locations where food can be stored away from rodents and insects. Second, there must be a system to distribute the food where it is needed. Permanent deliveries must be scheduled to places where famine is endemic, and there needs to be a rapid response for short-term situations such as civil strife, drought and floods.

In conclusion, world hunger is pervasive in spite of advances in agriculture, which produces adequate quantities of nutritious food. It can be solved by a global storage and distribution system that transports the food to where it is most needed.