# Ielts Writing Task 1 - PLEASE CHECK THE GRAMMAR AND VOCABULARY, CORRECT IT AND ALSO GIVE ME AN ESTIMATE OF THE BAND SCORE FOR THIS ESSAY.

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The table below shows the percentage of the population by age groups in one town who rode bicycles in 2011.

 Age group Female Male 0 – 9 51.3 50.3 10 – 17 42.2 24.6 18 – 39 17.1 9.7 40 – 59 12.3 8.0 60+ 18.5 13.2

The table illustrates the proportion of people for both genders by age groups in a town who cycled in 2011.

Overall, it is evident that in all the age groups, the percentage of female cyclist was higher than male cyclist. Meanwhile, for both genders, the proportion of population in the age between 18 and 59 was the lowest.

To begin with, just over half of all male and female children under 9 years old riding bicycle. For girl in the age from 10-17, their proportion decreased slightly to almost 40%, whereas, the percentage of boy cyclist in the same age declined by over half to less than 25%.

Moreover, the figures among both genders aged 18-39 and 40-59 were the lowest. In the former age group, only approximately 17% of female cyclist, compared to almost 10% of man cyclist. Also, in the latter age group, about 12% of female riding bicycles in comparison with exactly 8% of male cyclist.

Moving to the age of higher than 60 years old, the percentage of both woman and man cyclist had a sudden increase to reach 18.5% and just more than 13% respectively.

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The table illustrates lists the proportion of people by gender and age group for both genders by age groups in a town who cycled in 2011. (How many age groups? What were they? You need to complete the description of the table in the first paragraph.)

Overall, it is evident that in all the age groups, the percentage of female cyclist was higher than male cyclist. Meanwhile, for both genders, the proportion of population in the age between 18 and 59 was the lowest.

To begin with,Just over half of all male and female children under 9 years old riding bicycle. (ungrammatical) For girl in the age aged from 10-17, their proportion decreased slightly (compared to what?) to almost 40%, (comma splice error) whereas, the percentage of boy cyclist in the same age range / group declined (compared to what?) by over half to less than 25%.

Moreover, (not a good transition) the figures among percentages for both genders aged 18-39 and 40-59 were the lowest. In the former age group, there were only approximately 17% of female cyclist, compared to almost 10% of man cyclist. Also, in the latter age group, about 12% of female riding bicycles (ungrammatical) in comparison with exactly 8% of male cyclist.

Moving to the age of oldest age group, those higher than 60 years old, the percentage of both woman and man cyclist had a sudden increase to reach 18.5% and just more than 13% respectively.

I think I still don't realize my faults .

Can you correct all of the highlighted words for me ?

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Is there ONE cyclist in the entire group?

Do they all ride the same bicycle?

AlpheccaStarsJust over half of all male and female children under 9 years old riding bicycle. (ungrammatical)
AlpheccaStars Also, in the latter age group, about 12% of female riding bicycles (ungrammatical)

Thanks. But how can I change those sentences to the correct ones?

Dongg ThieuJust over half of all male and female children under 9 years old riding bicycle.

How would you correct these sentences?

* They riding bicycle.
(They = your subject: Just over half of all male and female children under 9 years old)

* Citizens driving car on the highway.

Students: We have free audio pronunciation exercises.

riding -> rode

driving -> drove

Is it right ?

Dongg Thieuriding -> rode

That fixes the grammatical problem with the verb. When describing data, you have to decide if you are going to use present tense or past tense. Just be consistent. Also, do all the kids take turns riding the same bicycle? Do all the citizens drive one car?

No. So these words "bicycle" and "car" must be in plural form. Right ?

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