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PLEASE EVALUATE THIS ESSAY FOR ME! THANK YOU SO MUCH.

Nowadays, children spend more time playing computer games and less time playing sports. Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative development?


In today’s society, it is notable that children often allocating more time for indoor activities especially video games than for physical activities. While unprecedented revolutions in entertainment technology and inactive lifestyle is a driving force to prompt this trend, I believe that this is an undesirable phenomenon due to its detrimental effects on adolescents.


First and foremost, the proliferation of entertaining technology is deemed the leading cause to an increasingly high number of children playing computer games. The result of such development is an array of over-engrossing computerized games which may offer people an opportunity to immerse in a complex and intriguing storyline. For example, Mortal Kombat 11 allows players to change the outcomes of the story based on the chosen characters, which can trigger the imagination and curiosity of children, and encourage them to spend the whole day discovering all possible endings. Another reason worth mentioning is the sedentary lifestyle led by a majority of youth, especially those living in metropolitan areas. Playing sports involves strenuous training and practicing, therefore, it is understandable that less physically demanding pastime activity like console games will draw much more attention from these lazy, passive children.


From my perspectives, such a trend can have serious repercussions on the young generation. Many studies have revealed that children who spend a substantial part of time in front the computer screens stand a higher chance of having acute health problems such as diminished vision, impaired cardiovascular system and increased risk of obesity. Furthermore, nowadays game market is rife with educationally irrelevant contents such as shooting, car racing, and fighting. As a result, excessive exposure to these scenes can foster violence and anti-social behaviours among susceptible children, contributing to a higher rate of crime in the future.


In conclusion, playing computer games has gained increasing popularity as a pastime compared to other constructive activities because of well-designed console games and low demand for physical strength. Personally, this phenomenon do more harm than good for children as it deteriorate children’s health and build up mental impairment and tendency towards violent behaviours. Thus, it is of supreme importance that parents stringently monitor their children’s screen time and encourage them to partake in sport events.

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PLEASE EVALUATE THIS ESSAY FOR ME! THANK YOU SO MUCH.

Nowadays, children spend more time playing computer games and less time playing sports. Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative development?


In today’s society, it is notable that children often allocating more time for indoor activities especially video games than for physical activities. While unprecedented revolutions in entertainment technology and inactive lifestyle is a driving force to prompt this trend, I believe that this is an undesirable phenomenon due to its detrimental effects on adolescents.


First and foremost, the proliferation of entertaining technology is deemed the leading cause to an increasingly high number of children playing computer games. The result of such development is an array of over-engrossing computerized games which may offer people an opportunity to immerse in a complex and intriguing storyline. For example, Mortal Kombat 11 allows players to change the outcomes of the story based on the chosen characters, which can trigger the imagination and curiosity of children, and encourage them to spend the whole day discovering all possible endings. Another reason worth mentioning is the sedentary lifestyle led by a majority of youth, especially those living in metropolitan areas. Playing sports involves strenuous training and practicing, therefore, it is understandable that less physically demanding pastime activity like console games will draw much more attention from these lazy, passive children.


From my perspectives, such a trend can have serious repercussions on the young generation. Many studies have revealed that children who spend a substantial part of time in front the computer screens stand a higher chance of having acute health problems such as diminished vision, impaired cardiovascular system and increased risk of obesity. Furthermore, nowadays game market is rife with educationally irrelevant contents such as shooting, car racing, and fighting. As a result, excessive exposure to these scenes can foster violence and anti-social behaviours among susceptible children, contributing to a higher rate of crime in the future.


In conclusion, playing computer games has gained increasing popularity as a pastime compared to other constructive activities because of well-designed console games and low demand for physical strength. Personally, this phenomenon do more harm than good for children as it deteriorate children’s health and build up mental impairment and tendency towards violent behaviours. Thus, it is of supreme importance that parents stringently monitor their children’s screen time and encourage them to partake in sport events.

You are trying to use a lot of high-level, sophisticated words. However, you do not know how to use them in natural collocations. Your text is extremely intricate and convoluted. It will not impress an examiner. The purpose of Task 2 is not to show off your ability to memorize a lot of words, but how well and clearly you can use words to communicate your ideas.

Also, you wrote nearly 370 words. That is too long.


In today’s society, it is notable that children often allocating (ungrammatical - incorrect verb form.) more time for indoor activities especially video games than for physical activities. While unprecedented revolutions powerful and affordable game consoles and enticing gaming websites in entertainment technology and inactive lifestyle is a driving force to prompt are behind this trend, I believe that this is an undesirable phenomenon (wrong word) due to its detrimental effects on adolescents. (Children younger than adolescents are also affected.)


First and foremost, the proliferation availability of electronic games entertaining technology is deemed to be the leading cause to of an increasingly high number of children playing computer games. The result of such development is an array of over-engrossing computerized games which may offer people an opportunity to immerse themselves in a complex and intriguing storyline. For example, Mortal Kombat 11 allows players to change the outcomes (Stories have one ending, one outcome) of the story based on the chosen characters, which (improper use of relative pronoun) can trigger the imagination and curiosity of children, and encourage them to spend the whole day discovering all possible endings. Another reason worth mentioning is the sedentary lifestyle led by a majority of youth, especially those living in metropolitan areas. Playing sports involves strenuous training and practicing, (comma splice error) therefore, it is understandable that less physically demanding pastime activity (wrong form) like console games will draw much more attention from these lazy, passive children.


From my perspectives, (wrong form) such a trend this can have serious repercussions on the young generation. Many studies have revealed that children who spend a substantial part of their time in front the computer screens stand a higher chance of having acute health problems such as diminished poor vision, impaired cardiovascular system and increased risk of obesity. Furthermore, the games on the market today are nowadays game market is rife with educationally irrelevant contents violent and destructive content such as shooting, car racing, and fighting. As a result, excessive exposure to these scenes games can foster violence and anti-social behaviours among susceptible children, contributing to a higher rate of crime in the future.


In conclusion, playing computer games has gained increasing popularity as a pastime compared to outdoor other constructive activities because of well-designed console games and low demand for physical strength. Personally, this phenomenon (wrong word) do (wrong form) more harm than good for children as it deteriorate (wrong word) children’s health and build (wrong word) up mental impairment and tendency towards violent behaviours. Thus, it is of supreme importance that parents stringently monitor their children’s screen time and encourage them to partake in sport events. (The task instructions did not ask for a solution or remedy or recommendation. Offering one is off-topic and you will lose points.)