Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In this day and age, the affordability of higher education has aroused considerable controversy. Many individuals make an assertion that all students should be entitled to the tertiary education freely irrespective of their socio-economic background. I partly concur with this viewpoint, and I aver that the provision of free-of-charge education may have an adverse bearing on the whole country for some valid rationales.

One the one hand, I admit that there are some benefits to pursuing tertiary education freely. If all people were entitled to attend university or college, the living standard would become better. Indeed, when the underprivileged may be capable of acquiring college qualifications, these academic degrees can help them to secure a high-paying profession. Furthermore, this policy may give rise to a more educated workforce, which may act as a precursor to a thriving economy.

Nonetheless, I am of the opinion that the government should not cover higher education tuition regardless of the aforementioned justification. Initially, it is often thought that abolishing tuition fees may result in a negative impact on job seekers. As the job market is increasingly competitive even for bachelor’s degree holders, entering the university without fees may result in an excessive workforce. Therefore, a plurality of graduates may grapple with looking for jobs, which causes an increase in the unemployment rate.

On the societal level, the free-college policy may affect the government’s coffers negatively. In fact, a large proportion of the national budget spent on covering the tuition fee is supposed to put a strain on the authority coffers. Moreover, this will lead to considerable demand for higher taxes so that the government can cover the fees, which can exert pressure for workers.

In conclusion, while the potential merits of free education can benefit society in some ways, I firmly contend that embarking on formal university education without fees may be detrimental to the nation.

Please correct all my grammatical/ word choice errors. Additionally, could you conjecture my band score?

Thanks in advance

In this day and age, the affordability of higher education has aroused considerable controversy. (There is no controversy. This is likely a memorized answer. Examiners want your writing to be specific for each topic. You lose points for memorized answers. ) Many individuals make an assertion that all students should be entitled to the tertiary (wrong word. "university education" is the topic. In the UK, college is vocational school, and "tertiary education" covers a wide range of types of adult education after high school. In American English, college and university are synonymous, but American English does not use the phrase "tertiary education". ) education freely (wrong word. "freely" means of your free choice. It does not mean free of cost.) irrespective of their socio-economic background. I partly concur with this viewpoint, and I aver that the provision of free-of-charge education may have an adverse impact bearing on the whole country. (The previous sentence is not good English. It has a problem with cohesion and coherence - you agree partly and then state an objection, so the reader is confused. ) for some valid rationales. (Delete this phrase. It adds nothing.)

One the one hand, I admit that there are some benefits to pursuing tertiary education freely. If all people were entitled to attend graduated from university or college, the living standard standard of living would become better. (Entitlement does not mean that they actually did go to classes or graduate.) Indeed, when the underprivileged may be capable (wrong word Capable of means that they are smart enough and well prepared to perform scholastically. ) of acquiring college degrees, qualifications, these academic degrees can help them to secure a high-paying profession. Furthermore, this policy may would give rise to a more educated workforce, leading to which may act as a precursor to a thriving economy.

Nonetheless, I am of the opinion that the government should not cover higher education tuition regardless of the aforementioned (Remove this word from your vocabulary. It is stilted, awkward, and old-fashioned.) justifications. Initially, (Not a good transition word unless there is a time element.) it is often thought that abolishing tuition fees may result in a negative impact on job seekers. As the job market is increasingly competitive even for bachelor’s degree holders, entering the university (Don't you mean graduating university?) without fees may result in an excessive workforce. (wrong expression. A workforce is all the employed people in a society.) Therefore, a plurality of new graduates may compete grapple with looking for jobs, which causes an increase in the unemployment rate. (That does not make sense. A high unemployment rate means that there are not enough jobs for everyone who wants one. Eliminating jobs is what raises the unemployment rate. If there is competition among graduates for the available high-paying positions, some of them get them; the others will have to accept a less satisfactory position. )

On the societal level, the free-college policy may affect the government’s coffers negatively. In fact, a large proportion of the national budget spent on covering the tuition fees is supposed to (wrong expression. "Is supposed to" means that there is an obligation or requirement. ) put a strain on the authority (wrong form) coffers. Moreover, this will lead to considerable demand for (Demand means that people are asking for it. Who wants to pay higher taxes?) higher taxes so that the government can cover the fees, which can exert pressure on for workers.

In conclusion, while the potential merits of free education can benefit society in some ways, I firmly contend that embarking on (wrong word) formal university education without fees may be detrimental to the nation.

You used a multitude of words and expressions in one of the most best-selling Ielts books of Mr Tung Dang. ^^

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You used a multitude of words and expressions in one of the most best-selling Ielts books of Mr Tung Dang. ^^

If any sentences were copied, the essay writer will get a zero score.

It is fine to learn vocabulary words and collocations from IELTS books, but you must learn how to use them correctly in context.