Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.


These days, a majority of food and beverage commodities cause various health consequences because of their high levels of sugar. Thus, it is suggested that the government should raise the prices of sugary products in order to prevent customers from using too much sugar. As far as I am concerned, I also endorse the view that to discourage people to consume sugar, it is vital to increase sugary products' prices.

The first and foremost reason for this is because it could avoid individuals from many serious health issues. To be specific, many researches prove that using sugar is not good because it not only makes people addicted to it but also brings consequences to their health. For example, people are easily prone to obesity when eating processed food including snacks and cheese. As a result, if the prices of food and drink commodities are escalated, sugar consumption will significantly reduce.

In addition to the reason above, it is also thought that making sugary products more expensive could change customer buying behavior. In fact, there are so many manufactures utilize sugar since it is cheap and delicious, and thus their products also have reasonable prices. That is the reason why a variety of users purchase these kinds of products. Consequently, when raising the prices of products containing sugar, customers would be encouraged to change their opt and concentrate on cheaper products which might be healthier.

To conclude, because sugary products including processed food and soft drink lead to a plenty of health problems, many people believe that the government should escalate their prices to stop many individuals from using more sugar. Personally, I totally agree with this suggestion.

These days, a majority of food and beverages commodities (A commodity is something sold wholesale in bulk like barrels of oil, bushels of wheat, and bales of cotton. They are sold on the commodities markets. ) cause various health consequences because of their high levels of sugar. (Do you really think that the majority of things we eat and drink are high in sugar?) Thus, it is suggested that the government should raise the prices of sugary products in order to prevent customers from eating using too much sugar. As far as I am concerned, I also endorse the view that to discourage people to consume sugar, it is vital to increase sugary products' prices.

winxangelMany manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

You did not include the essay prompt (the question), so I cannot evaluate your task response. I will only highlight the problematic text.

The first and foremost reason for this is because it could avoid individuals from many serious health issues. To be specific, many researches prove that using sugar is not good because it not only makes people addicted to it but also brings consequences to their health. For example, people are easily prone to obesity when eating processed food including snacks and cheese. As a result, if the prices of food and drink commodities are escalated, sugar consumption will significantly reduce.

In addition to the reason above, it is also thought that making sugary products more expensive could change customer buying behavior. In fact, there are so many manufactures utilize sugar since it is cheap and delicious, and thus their products also have reasonable prices. That is the reason why a variety of users purchase these kinds of products. Consequently, when raising the prices of products containing sugar, customers would be encouraged to change their opt and concentrate on cheaper products which might be healthier.

To conclude, because sugary products including processed food and soft drink lead to a plenty of health problems, many people believe that the government should escalate their prices to stop many individuals from using more sugar. Personally, I totally agree with this suggestion.

Sorry for my mistake, the question is:

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

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winxangelDo you agree or disagree?

You did not answer the question in your opening paragraph.

It is true that we can find many processed food and drink items containing high sugar contents. This has caused many people to gain health issues. While some people argue that the price of these sugary products should be increased in order to discourage people from taking more sugar, I personally disagree with this opinion.


I find raising the price of sugary products is simply unrealistic. Sugar releases dopamine from our brain which makes us happy. It serves an important function in most of the occasions such as party events and traditional celebrations, as sweet food and drinks are usually being served. If the price of sugary products are being raised, it would be unfair to those people with lower income as it will be unaffordable for them to purchase these products. In some ways, it means that the poor don't get to enjoy sweet food and drinks, even on special occasions. Furthermore, increased price of sugary products apparently won't affect the rich ones due to their financial capability. This won't stop them from buying and eating the sweetened products and in the near future, the health problems related to sugar will become a disease of affluence, such as diabetes, obesity, and coronary heart disease. Both wealthy and poor society won't be benefit from the increased price of sugary products.


Another problem associated with sugary products is, if it's made expensive it might affect many restaurants and cafes that sell food and desserts. Whoever did cooking or baking before will know that it is not easy to modify the recipes of food as it will highly affects the quality and outcome of the food. In order to maintain the quality of the food and drinks, the business owner would have to increase the price of the food and drinks item, and I am sure consumers won't be happy with that. The decision of hiking the price of sugary products are made by governments, however the consequences that affect many food and beverage businesses are not being considered.


In conclusion, if sugary products were to be made expensive, it will affect lives of the consumers and also business owners. Hence I disagree with this assertion.



***Can anyone please help me to grade this and give feedback on any mistakes i've made? thank you