Many high street shops have gone out of business in recent years. Why do you think this has happened? Is it a positive or negative development?

It is true that more and more physical stores have disappeared in the past few years. Personally, I believe this phenomenon is attributed to a couple of reasons; while the situation would bring some benefits, I concur with the view that this is a negative trend in the long run.

I believe the contributory factors to the shutdown of street shops are intense competition between businesses and the rise of online shopping. Many small physical shops these days often find themselves in the face of tough competition for their consumers’ patronage. In fact, shoppers tend to prefer department stores where a range of consumer goods are available rather than small stores. But perhaps the leading cause of this trend is that a large number of shops succumb to internet purchasing and shopping and ultimately vanish. For example, the prevalence of e-commerce sites like Amazon or eBay has caused the closing of many brick-and-mortar stores as people prefer a more convenient and economical way of shopping.

A more optimistic prediction is that online shopping in place of traditional stores will create a better shopping experience. From the financial and environmental perspectives, there will be noticeable reductions in transportation costs and environmental pollution; as no transport is needed with regards to making online purchases, people not only save up on the fuel costs but also reduce exhaust fumes discharged into the environment. However, I favor the view that street shops hold historical values and significance of a nation, and their disappearance is a loss of cultural diversity. For instance, given the fast-paced development of e-commerce websites, future generations in Vietnam would not know how lively and colorful traditional shops would be.

In conclusion, I am convinced that street shops have closed down because of internet shopping and business fierce competition, and the drawbacks of this trend would outweigh the benefits.

It is true that more and more physical stores have disappeared (closed) in the past few years. Personally, I believe this phenomenon is attributed to a couple of reasons, and while it is bringing the situation would bring (The trend is now, not some time in the future.) some benefits, I concur with the view that this is a negative trend in the long run.

I believe the contributory factors to the shutdown of street shops are intense competition between businesses and the rise of online shopping. Many small physical shops these days often find themselves in the face of tough competition for their consumers’ patronage. In fact, shoppers tend to prefer department stores where a wide range of consumer goods are available rather than small specialty stores. But perhaps the leading cause of this trend is that a large number of shops succumb to internet purchasing and shopping and ultimately vanish. For example, the prevalence of e-commerce websites sites like Amazon or eBay has caused the closing of many brick-and-mortar stores as people prefer a more convenient and economical way of shopping.

A more optimistic prediction is that online shopping in place of traditional stores will create a better shopping experience. From the financial and environmental perspectives, there will be noticeable reductions in transportation costs and environmental pollution; as no transport is needed with regards to making online purchases, (Punctuation error: comma splice. I actually disagree with your point. The items purchased online have to be delivered to the peoples' homes by trucks and vans, don't they?) people not only save up on the fuel costs but also reduce exhaust fumes discharged into the environment are reduced. However, I favor the view that street shops hold historical value values and, being significant to significance of a nation, and their disappearance is a loss of cultural diversity. For instance, given the fast-paced development of e-commerce websites, future generations in Vietnam would not know how lively and colorful traditional shops had been. would be.

In conclusion, I am convinced that street shops have closed down because of internet shopping and fierce business fierce competition, and the drawbacks of this trend would outweigh the benefits.

AlpheccaStarsFrom the financial and environmental perspectives, there will be noticeable reductions in transportation costs and environmental pollution; as no transport is needed with regards to making online purchases, (Punctuation error: comma splice. I actually disagree with your point. The items purchased online have to be delivered to the peoples' homes by trucks and vans, don't they?) people not only save up on the fuel costs but also reduce exhaust fumes discharged into the environment are reduced
Thank AlpheccaStars for spending your time proofreading my essay.
For a part of text above, I believe 'as' in 'as no transport' has the same meaning as 'since' or 'because', so I don't think it's a comma splice. What is your opinion?
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Crystal RhodesI believe 'as' in 'as no transport' has the same meaning as 'since' or 'because', so I

You are correct. The sentence is too long for my tastes, though. I would make two sentences. The semicolon should be used to join short, closely-related sentences.

AlpheccaStarsFor example, the prevalence of e-commerce websites sites like Amazon or eBay has caused the closing of many brick-and-mortar stores as people prefer a more convenient and economical way of shopping.

Having re-read my essay over and over, I realized that I should have extended this idea, "as people a more convenient and economical way of shopping".

I would rewrite the whole sentence as below

In fact, the prevalence of e-commerce websites sites like Amazon or eBay has caused the closing of many brick-and-mortar stores. This is because it is convenient and economical for customers to make purchases in the comfort of their homes or workplaces and receive delivery of their purchased items the next day instead of making trips to local stores.


What is your opinion on this?

Thank you for your great feedback and support!

I've shortened my sentences, and this is the result for my first body paragraph. I've included both original and new versions for everyone to see the difference.

I believe the contributory factors to the shutdown of street shops are intense competition between businesses and the rise of online shopping. Many small shops these days often find themselves in the face of tough competition for their consumers’ patronage. In fact, shoppers tend to prefer department stores, such as Costco or Walmart, where a wide range of consumer goods are available rather than small specialty stores. But perhaps the leading cause of this trend is that a large number of shops succumb to internet purchasing and shopping and ultimately vanish. For example, the prevalence of e-commerce websites like Amazon or eBay has caused the closing of many brick-and-mortar stores as people prefer a more convenient and economical way of shopping.

This is because customers find it more convenient and economical to make purchases on e-commerce websites, such as Amazon or eBay, in the comfort of their homes or workplaces and receive delivery of their purchased items the next day instead of making trips to traditional brick-and-mortar stores.

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