Please check it and give me a appropriate band score. Thank for your help.

The graph illustrates obviously the percentage of people using internet in three countries in the world over the years.
It is clear in the graph that in all countries have an increase tendency. Over a period of ten years, the internet user in Canada was highest in the survey while Mexico had the smallest number.
In 1999, the number of people using Internet in the USA was higher than two other countries and reaching about 25 percent. The resident of Mexico still did not approach much with only approximately 5 percent. Meanwhile, there was almost 13 percent in Canada to use Internet this year. After the time of two years, the percentage of internet users in Canada was as much as the USA and outweigh the USA onward.
From 2002 to 2009, the degree using internet in the USA had some fluctuates, but even so it was not a significant change, it reached a peak at 75 percent in 2009.
With the internet users in Canada, there was a regular increase from nearly 50 percent to just over 95 percent during the same period. The figure for Mexico in 2009 was around 40 percent.

You did not read my advice, did you? You would have corrected most of the problems, such as wrong words. I gave you the link in your previous post, but here it is again. There is a link to vocabulary, including the wrong words: figure, fluctuate and peak.

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice



The graph (What kind of graph?) illustrates (wrong word) obviously (wrong word) the percentage of people using internet in three countries (which countries?) in the world over the years. (what years?) Read my advice about the opening paragraph. You need to write about all aspects of the figure.


It is clear in the graph that (Read my advice about these unnecessary clauses.) in all countries have an increase tendency. Over a period of ten years, (What period?) the internet user (One person in Canada? Which user?) in Canada was highest in the survey while Mexico had the smallest number. (wrong word)


In 1999, the number (wrong word) of people using Internet in the USA was higher than two other countries and reaching about 25 percent. The resident of Mexico (What one person in Mexico?) still did not approach (wrong word) much with only approximately 5 percent. Meanwhile, there was almost 13 percent in Canada to use the Internet this year. After the time of two years, the percentage of internet users in Canada was as much as the USA and outweigh (wrong word, wrong form) the USA onward.
From 2002 to 2009, the degree (wrong word) using internet (Be consistent) in the USA had some fluctuates, (wrong word) but even so it was not a significant change, (comma splice error- ungrammatical sentence.) it reached a peak (wrong word) at 75 percent in 2009.
With the internet users in Canada, (unnatural) there was a regular increase from nearly 50 percent to just over 95 percent during the same period. The figure (wrong word) for Mexico in 2009 was around 40 percent.