There have been many inventions in the human history, such as the wheel. Some people think the most important thing is the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

A lot of historic breakthroughs have brought about big changes in people's life. But the Internet is commonly considered to be the most important invention and I agree with it for several reasons.

First of all, the advent of the Internet marked a milestone in humankind history because its convenience and benefits are undeniable as well as diverse. Thanks to the Internet, there seems to be fewer barriers in communication among people. Today, we can easily get in touch with each other, no matter where we are, just by using some online applications such as Skype, Whatsapp, Messenger,...

Additionally, with access to the Internet, the news is broadcast 24 hours a day. Therefore, everyone can keep themselves updated about the latest information from any part of the world. We do not need to buy newspapers or magazines anymore because with just one small phone, we can access any kind of news. Moreover, it also helps us with the shopping. When it is not convenient to go to traditional markets or we can not get out of homes, we just visit some online shopping websites such as Shopee or Amazon and then have anything that we want delivered to our places.

In addition, it also helps develop many areas of life. Some technological devices such as robots, GPS, modern machines,... are fundamentally based on the use of the Internet. As a result, scientists can have greater opportunities to invent more modern and multi-functional products.
In conclusion, the Internet is an excellent invention and it plays an important role in our lives. However, we should never rely on it too much.

A lot of historic Throughout history, discoveries and scientific breakthroughs have brought about [ 1] major big changes in people's life from the invention of the wheel to the discovery of DNA. but However, the Internet is commonly considered by some to be the most important invention, and I agree with it for several reasons.

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[ 1]: Note that “big” is general and not quite formal.

You have some good ideas in your essay, but you need to organize them a bit better. Make a list of your ideas (in point form) and post it below. Do not write full sentences and do not worry about grammar at this stage.

The internet is the most important invention in history because:

1-

2-

3-

4-

etc

A lot of historic breakthroughs have brought about big changes in people's life. (wrong form) But the Internet is commonly considered to be the most important invention and I agree with it (You are agreeing with the internet.... The internet does not have an opinion.) for several reasons. (That is so vague that it is useless. Te reader knows that you have reasons. )

First of all, the advent (Not a good word choice. The internet was developed and deployed over several decades to where it is today. There was no "advent" or "milestone". ) of the Internet marked a milestone in humankind history because its convenience and benefits are undeniable as well as diverse. Thanks to the Internet, there are seems to be fewer barriers in to communication among people. Today, we can easily get in touch with each other, no matter where we are, just by using some online applications such as Skype, Whatsapp, Messenger,... (Do not use ellipses, "etc." or phrases such as "and so on" in formal essays. These are very casual.)

Additionally, with access to the Internet, the news is broadcast 24 hours a day. (This makes no sense. Radio is used to broadcast the news, and radio predates the internet by fifty years or more. Radio does not depend on the internet.) Therefore, everyone can keep themselves updated about the latest information from any part of the world. We do not need to buy newspapers or magazines anymore because with a tablet, computer or smart phone and an internet connection, just one small phone, we can access any kind of news. Moreover, it also helps us with the shopping. When it is not convenient to go to traditional markets or we can not get out of homes, we just visit some online shopping websites such as Shopee or Amazon and then have anything that we want delivered to our homes. places.

In addition, it also helps develop many areas of life. Some electronic technological (wrong word) devices such as robots, GPS, (That is incorrect. GPS uses satellite communication, not internet, to fix one's position.) modern machines,... are fundamentally based on the use of the Internet. As a result, scientists can have greater opportunities to invent more modern and multi-functional (That does not make sense.) products.
In conclusion, the Internet is an excellent invention and it plays an important role in our lives. However, we should never rely on it too much. (What? That is off topic, and you never mentioned this point in the body paragraphs. Do not introduce any new points in your conclusion. You should compare the internet with other possible "greatest inventions" as described in the essay topic. Is the internet a greater invention than the wheel, the automobile, electricity, or air conditioning? )

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Thank you very much for answering me. What do you think I should do to improve my writing?

Could you please correct some words more clearly?

AlpheccaStars in people's life. (wrong form)

"life" is wrong form so what should it be?

what is the substitution for the word" advent" in second para?

Please show me their appropriate substitutions and leave comments about Ielts brand that my essays could get

Sherlock Nguyen"life" is wrong form so what should it be?

Life is a noun. Nouns have three forms: singular, plural, and possessive.

Each person has one life.

Many people have many lives, not one life.

Sherlock Nguyenwhat is the substitution for the word" advent" in second para?

"Advent" is used in Christianity to mean the four Sundays before Christmas Day, the major holiday.

First of all, the development and global spread of the Internet marks a historic milestone because its benefits are undeniable as well as diverse.

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