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Please help me to correct the report. I really appreciate it ^^. It's awesome if you can give me some feedback too!

The table below gives information about a restaurant’s average sales in three different branches in 2016.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table compares the statistics of a restaurant in three branches from different streets of Vancouver in 2016.

Overall, the branch on Georgia street has the highest figures for all of the categories. It is apparently the most common branch of the restaurant.

The number of transactions including take-away and eat-in ones was the highest among the three branches, being 584 per day. Dunsmuir street branch took the second place of the number of transaction, which is 750. However, customers tent to eat in were fewer than those who took away, by 34 transactions per day. The trend was reversed compared to the one in Georgia street.

In terms of transaction value, although the branch on Georgia street still had the highest averaged for $10.69 because of their most popular items, chicken burger, the one on Dunsmuir street was surprisingly the lowest, nearly half of the value on Georgia street, just $5.61. The Drake street branch has transaction value relatively high, being $9.02 with the signature items which is chicken pasta.

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Please don't post essays in the Sentence Structure forum.
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The table compares the statistics of a restaurant (poor English. What kind of statistics?) in three branches from different streets (poor English) of Vancouver in 2016. (The first paragraph is very incomplete. You must describe all aspects of the figure, but not the data. )


Model paragraph:

The table gives information about three branches of a restaurant in Vancouver in 2016. The three branches are named by their location: Georgia Street, Dunsmuir Street and Drake Street. The information items are numbers of daily eat-in and take-away transactions and the average transaction value. It also gives the most popular menu item.


Overall, the branch on Georgia street (You have not told the reader the names of the locations. The reader is confused.) has the highest figures (wrong word) for all of the categories. (You have not informed the reader of the categories. The reader is confused.) It is apparently the most common branch (wrong phrasing) of the restaurant. (This is your conclusion. Do not write conclusions or opinions in Task 1.)

The number of transactions (Where? You have started a new paragraph. The reader expects a new topic.) including take-away and eat-in ones (wrong usage) was the highest among the three branches, being 584 per day. Dunsmuir street branch took the second place of the number of transaction, (wrong form) which is 750. However, customers tent (wrong word) to eat in were fewer than those who took away, by 34 transactions per day. The trend (Wrong word. There are no trends in the table. ) was reversed compared to the one in Georgia street.

In terms of transaction value, although the branch on Georgia street still had the highest averaged (wrong form) for $10.69 because of their most popular items, (This is your conclusion. Do not write conclusions or opinions in Task 1. ) chicken burger, the one (Restaurant? Transaction value?) on Dunsmuir street was surprisingly the lowest, nearly half of the value on Georgia street, just $5.61. The Drake street branch has (wrong form.) ;transaction value relatively high, (wrong word order) being $9.02 with the signature items (wrong word, wrong form) which is chicken pasta.

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Comments  
Really?, but I see that this is the essay, paragraph section?

Persian Learner moved your essay to the proper forum.

We can't give you much help if we can't see the table you are writing about. Attach an image.

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oh, thank you! I'm not used to this forum. This is the image of the essay.

 AlpheccaStars's reply was promoted to an answer.

I see. Wow, I made lots of mistakes. Thank you so much

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