Hi, I'm looking forward to receiving your feedback. I hope you can spend a little time to help me correct this essay. It will be my delight if I get your help. Thanks in advance and have a good day. Wish everything good will come to you!

Prompt: Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essay


More and more people can interact globally through internet platforms created for those functions. Some proponents consider that these kinds of media have more adverse influences than positive ones. Nonetheless, in my perspective, although social networking media have specific benefits, I would entirely side with the view assuming that the negative effects of it outweigh that.

To commence with, social media are firmly considered to not good for the user’s well-being. It seems networking sites are more addictive by far if you do not indulge in it wisely. For illustration, a number of people obsess hours over hours with stuffing the internet compulsively. Misusing phones, computers for that stuff not only encourages a sedentary lifestyle but also erodes real social interaction. It chronically brings decreasing health, even causes mental illness like isolation, depression, etc. Consequently, the more citizens have spiritual problems, the more the society has become underdeveloped. As with many other potential ills in life, it is all about moderation.

Not stop at that, in addition, networking platforms thoroughly are not good for the user’s safety. Information on those kinds of websites is not always genuine, let alone be secure. To exemplify this, numerous inauthentic data are built and users will fall prey to fraud and scam motivation mindlessly. Moreover, hacking issues and virus problems always are encountered out of perception and may have hazardous impacts on your personal information. As an instance, a plethora of hackers or viruses can approach your data when you merely click on links on those sites. That leads to the increase of internet crimes and gets the stability of society gone down. Also, as technology becomes more advanced and complicated, the manners threatening your security become more varied.

To put it in a nutshell, I strongly believe that social networking sites have massive negative influences on a plethora of sides of the problem. To make it clear, the advent of social media may be more deleterious for the user’s welfare and safety day by day.
(4 paragraph, 332 words)

(This is the third time I do this type of writing. I received feedback to be awkward and off-topic about my last writing by a very kind person. I would be very grateful if you strongly point out this kind of mistake and suggest a way to change it. Thanks again!)

More and more people can interact globally through internet platforms created for that purpose. those functions.(The plural form is incorrect - you wrote only one function: interact) Some proponents (A proponent would be an advocate in favor of these platforms, not critical of them. You have the wrong word. You must use the opposite of proponent, which is critic. ) claim consider (wrong word) that these kinds of social media ("Social" is required because "media" are different - they are newspapers and TV channels.) have more adverse influences than positive ones. (The task mentions nothing about positive effects, only negative. You are asked if you agree with that or not. You still have not answered the prompt..) Nonetheless, in my perspective, although social networking media have specific benefits, I would entirely side with the view assuming that the negative effects of it outweigh that.

You still have not answered the prompt. The task is very specific. Read it carefully. Answer it precisely. The more focused you are on the specific topic, the higher your potential score will be.

The prompt is "To what extent do you agree or disagree?"

Here are some answers. They also form your thesis statement (the claim that you are defending) in your essay.

1. I completely agree with it because social media has caused deceptions and conspiracy theories to spread and harm the community, and they also host cyberbullying which destroys individual lives.

2. I entirely disagree. Although there are some issues, they are minor. The cultural exchanges and friendships formed on social media are priceless.

3. I somewhat agree because social media is quite beneficial for individuals, especially students, but is destructive to traditional societies.

4. I generally agree, but with some reservations. Social media can have very deleterious effects on in-person relationships, but it does make for stronger virtual international communities, leading to world peace.

Here is a list of adverbs of extent:

Complete agreement / disagreement:
------------

completely
fully
totally
wholeheartedly
unreservedly
with no reservations
without reservation
unequivocally
unquestionably
with no hesitation
unconditionally

Partial agreement / disagreement:
----------------

somewhat
partially
partly
to some extent / to a limited extent / to a point
with (some / certain / a few) reservations
conditionally


.

Teachers: We supply a list of EFL job vacancies

Thank you very much.