Please comment on my writing about vegetarian

Everyone of us should become a vegetarian because eating meat can cause serious health problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

I do not agree that everyone should stop eating meat as there is no scientific evidence to prove that abstain from meat product is good for your health.

First, contains both soluble and insoluble, but fibers are not digested. The digestive structure of human is shorter than herbivores and lack of specialized cell to absorb cellulose, the main fibers in plant. So this is lead to abdominal discomfort, including constipation, diarrhea, intestinal blockage cause for toxic accumulation. For example, many case report in the world shows that the patients with appendicitis as spinach stick to appendix. Moreover, overconsuming raw vegetables has the potential to be infected with worm eggs. Worms grow up in small intestine and take the body’s nutrients so patients are sick, tired. Worse, many spices enter the bloodstream to the brain or bladder develop dangerous complications.

Second, food used for vegetarian diet is based on cereal, vegetable, tubers and nuts. Therefore, vegetarian lack nutrients such as proteins, vitamins, ions that essentials for the body. Firstly, vitamin 12 plays an important role in synthesizing red blood cells, is abundant in liver, eggs, milk. Vitamin 12 deficiency leads to the number of erythrocytes in the body is low. The oxygen provided is not enough to generate energy for nerve cell activity, so the patients suffer from dizziness, headache, difficult to focus at work. The most obvious external manifestation is pale skin, can be localized in a face, a single limb. The blood circulating throughout the body gives color to the skin and mucous membrane, abnormal conditions of the blood and red blood cells alter a person’s natural color.

In conclusion, it is not by accident that vegan products nowadays appeal to a large number of people because social networks report several benefits from vegetarian diet. However, as mentions above, vegetarian option does not guarantee that each of us will be healthier. Instead, the balance diet of meat and vegetables to live well.

Everyone of us should become a vegetarian because eating meat can cause serious health problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

I do not agree that everyone should stop eating meat as there is no scientific evidence to prove that abstain from meat product is good for your health.

Firs, the question states to what extent do you agree or disagree, meaning it's not a yes or no answer. Second, your first sentence should reiterate at least a part of the author's question or comment. It's common practice to include parts of the question or statement when responding to essay questions.


A general rule in essay writing is to open the second paragraph with a introductory sentence that continues on the topic found in the last sentence of the previous paragraph. So the first sentence should elaborate on why short-term gains from becoming a vegetarian is not worth the long-term side health side-effects as a vegetarian. The second, third and fourth paragraphs (depending on your word count requirements) should be supporting sentences to justify your answer. The last sentence of the second to the last paragraph should prepare the reader for the conclusion. The first sentence of the conclusion should state this is the conclusion. The second and third sentences should summarize the main points from each paragraph or your major findings. The last sentence should reinforce your opinion and state your position on the matter. Which in the example below, the last sentence reiterates the opening sentence of the first paragraph. An example of a proper answer is found below.

Example of ideal answer:

I do not entirely agree with the statement that everyone should become a vegetarian. I believe there's insufficient (or there's a lack of) scientific research to prove that eating meat can cause serious health problems. In my opinion the major health benefits gained from becoming a vegetarian does not apply to everyone.

Dietary needs is not a one case fits all practice. Everyone has specific dietary needs due to different health conditions found in each individual. An individual must first consult a medical expert, prior to making major health changes such as becoming a vegetarian. A medical doctor can help an individual understand their current health condition to see if the individual can withstand a major dietary change.

An individual's dietary needs is comprised of many factors effected by the individual's vitals, age, genes and lifestyle. For example, eating red meat has shown health benefits to women suffering from anemia. However, there's also scientific evidence of red meat consumption and increased risk of colon cancer for men. Therefore, the health advantages and disadvantages of becoming a vegetarian can greatly vary from person to person.

Long-term vegetarian can also experience serious health problems. Several studies have shown that long-term vegetarians, lack or have reduced bone-mass density. Therefore, becoming a vegetarian can increasing the risk for osteoporosis, especially for women reaching the age of menopause. Therefore, the long-term benefits can can outweigh the short-term benefits from becoming a vegetarian.

The human body is designed to consume both plant and animal matter. The human anatomy is made of organs designed to process both plant and meat matter. Therefore, changing one's diet to be solely plant based can cause an individual's organs to function improperly and can lead to nutritional imbalances.

The human body must relearn how to process food found in the digestive system. The overall benefits can take time and can also reap short-term negative side effects since the body is not used to the sudden increase in plant based consumption. Especially, due to changes in acid levels from our food and produced by our digestive system.

As to conclude, humans are natural born omnivores. Therefore, opting to become a vegetarian stems from an individual's desire to live a certain lifestyle. An individual choosing to become a vegetarian must adhere to a way of life not suited for everyone. There are numerous factors such as health condition, income to support a vegetarian lifestyle, time to prepare vegetarian meals and long-term dietary needs of each individual that must be weighted to fully reap its benefits. Therefore, in my opinion, there are pros and cons of becoming a vegetarian and is different for everyone.