Hi

Please review my writing.


The chart below shows the movement of people from rural to urban areas in three countries and predictions for future years.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph shows the number of people who moved from rural to urban areas in Iran, Indonesia and Russia between 2000 and 2025.

Among the three countries, Iran saw the highest movement in this period. The number was far less in Indonesia, and in Russia, it was relatively higher than in Iran until 2020.

In Indonesia where ten million people moved to rural to urban areas in 2000, there was no substantial increase in the number until 2025. Whereas Iran saw a significant increase from around nine million in 2000 to almost 100 million in 2025. While the number in Russia was more than in Iran from 2000 to 2020, it came down marginally in 2025.

The line graph shows the number of people who moved from rural to urban areas in Iran, Indonesia and Russia between 2000 and 2025. (2025 has not happened yet, at least according to my clock. You cannot use the past tense for events that have not occurred.)

Among the three countries, Iran saw (not a good verb choice. Also, it might not be the highest. ) the highest movement in this period. The number was far less in Indonesia, and in Russia, (comma splice error - ungrammatical sentence) it was relatively higher than in Iran until 2020.

In Indonesia where ten million people moved to rural to urban areas in 2000, there was no substantial increase in the number until 2025. Whereas Iran saw (Read my advice about these inappropriate verbs) a significant increase from around nine million in 2000 to almost 100 million in 2025. While the number in Russia was more than in Iran from 2000 to 2020, it came down marginally in 2025.


You did not write even 120 words. You will lose a lot of points for writing less than the minimum (150).

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post

If you would like a sample essay, you may ask for one.

Thank you very much for checking my writing.

I read your comments. I went through the IELTS Task 1 hints, tips and advice. It is very helpful. It was exhaustive.

As for the word count, by mistake I counted the words of the instruction as well.

As you have advised in that post, I will practise as long as I can.


Thank you once again, AlpheccaStars.


I have a doubt about the comma splice error.

The number was far less in Indonesia, and in Russia it was relatively higher than in Iran until 2020.

Is this all right?

Compound sentence with two independent clauses (The number was far less in Indonesia. I In Russia it was relatively higher than in Iran until 2020)

Please give your views.

Suresh

Site Hint: Check out our list of pronunciation videos.
vsureshThe number was far less in Indonesia, and in Russia it was relatively higher than in Iran until 2020.Is this all right?

Yes.

Note that this task is mathematically and scientifically absurd.

Here are the current populations of these three countries:

Russia: 145,934,462
Iran: 83,992,949
Indonesia: 273,523,615

Now, look at the graph and please explain to me how 80 to 95 million people in Iran can move from the countryside to the cities. That is more than the total population of the country. Were there no urban areas at all in 2000 and suddenly everyone decided to build urban areas and congregate in them?

And the change in Russia is more than half of the population. This sort of mass movement happens only in war (invasion of hostile armies) or extreme famine.

In the actual statistics, the change is far less dramatic. There was practically no change at all from 2000-present.

It also seems to me absurd that there is no movement to urban areas in Indonesia after 2020. The real data shows the opposite, with a net movement of 9 million people from rural to urban areas between 2020 and 2025.

The graph makes no sense in other aspects. Is this a cumulative measure? When was the information taken? i.e. How is "future" defined?

Do not break you brains over these incompetent test-writers. Do not use this source.

Thank you very much for going this far to help me, AlpheccaStars.

(I do not want to add anything more, for the best form of gratitude must be in my work.)


Suresh

Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
vsureshfor the best form of gratitude must be in my work.

Surely, it will be. Keep practicing. But do not use bad source material; it will only frustrate the both of us.

Can you become a excellent football player if you practice with this kind of ball?

AlpheccaStarsBut do not use bad source material; it will only frustrate the both of us.

I will be careful. Thank you, AlpheccaStars.

Suresh