+0

Dear, I am in the next ten years,

When you receive and see this letter, you have become a beautiful young lady. You, I am in 2030, I think you are working under the pressure to earn your living to have a sustainable life for yourself. Anyway, I hope you will take care of health, be stronger to face the challenges and overcome.

I write this letter at the peak time of the disastrous plague which threatens our lives, not only me but also everyone around the world respectively. Unemployment and fear of unexpected death caused by the Coronavirus pandemic are increasing and haunting us. In my opinion, it is tough to be able to predict when the epidemic will end and all of us are back the peaceful moments. I am hoping that it will stop soon. About me at present, I am just a young girl finding the right way for myself. It is too hard for me to make the right decision. This is the reason why I seem to be regret and wonder myself whether I chose what I desire to do. All things make me lose my marbles. I expect to have a strong wind flowing my stress away now. So terrible I was that I snowed under the assignments via deadlines given me through my gadgets in daily. I only wish the world have a machine time which I can travel to witness how great life in 2030 would be. Nevertheless, I am still comfortable at the moment although I have never fostered huge achievements for myself. I realize that the true definition of life is not wealthy or fame. On the contrast, the final value of life is to enjoy everything we have as the way we want. I mean that instead of struggling against the fierce world, until we are old, we have to step back to find out the peace in our soul. Perhaps, some individuals believed when they hold the world in their hand or become a superhero with applauses via the power to manipulate everything which they are dying to get is real happiness. We wondered ourselves whether it exist forever or not. In the end, what it boils down is live happily with all of the people we love. I feel fortunate because I have a great family staying with me every day. Give them my regards in the future. I will be over the moon if they keep their health well and live happier than ever. They sacrificed their youth, blood, sweat and tears to give the fullness. Help me take care of them. Furthermore, let spend more time to have a chat with them or have a voyage together. They have always dreamed of travelling once in a lifetime. Honestly, stay by them as soon as you can. Come rain or shine, the family is the best. Besides, I wonder whether you have a soulmate for yourself or not? To me, there were several times I have fallen in the unrequited love. I remembered that last few weeks, I failed to show my love to him again. Maybe I have not loved myself yet. I have not still been patient to wait. Somethings urged me to say all feeling with him and also end the chaos in my mind as soon as possible. Fussing over one person who is not concerned about my existence, all of which make me not to be myself anymore. Day by day, I lost my way. This consequence deserves for my tenacious. I expect you will find a person loving you than you love yourself and never repeat this mistake. Holding things which not belong to you is in vain. You go your way, they go their ways. You deserve to have many glorious things. I am looking forward to seeing one day when you receive this letter. Finally, I just have one message for you: "Love everyone, love yourself and love myself". Take care!

Sincerely,

+0

Ivy, you did not follow the instructions at all. You did not understand the task. Your letter is poorly organized, and just rambles incoherently. The instructions do not tell you to give any advice to your younger self. Yet that is mostly what you write about.

You need to start again, and write a letter that follows the instructions. If you have any questions, please ask.


Dear Ivy, , I am in the next ten years,

(The instructions say to write a letter to your younger self. So it must be addressed to your own name.)

When you receive and see this letter, you have become a beautiful young lady. (That makes no sense. The letter will never be received, because letters can not do time travel to the past. I think you did not understand the instructions. )

You, I am in 2030, I think you are working under the pressure to earn your living to have a sustainable life for yourself. Anyway, I hope you will take care of health, be stronger to face the challenges and overcome.

I write this letter at the peak time of the disastrous plague (What plague are you writing about? In an ideal world, there is no plague. Will there be a plague in 2030? )

which threatens our lives, not only me but also everyone around the world respectively. Unemployment and fear of unexpected death caused by the Coronavirus pandemic are increasing and haunting us. (In 2030, an ideal world, there is a vaccine for any virus, and new vaccines can be developed in just a few days. ) In my opinion, it is tough to be able to predict when the epidemic will end and all of us are back the peaceful moments. I am hoping that it will stop soon. About me at present, I am just a young girl finding the right way for myself. (How old will you be in 2030? You will be a young woman, already graduated from Cambridge University, and employed by a major pharmaceutical company doing research in a cure for cancer. and diabetes.) It is too hard for me to make the right decision. This is the reason why I seem to be regret and wonder myself whether I chose what I desire to do. All things make me lose my marbles. I expect to have a strong wind flowing my stress away now. So terrible I was that I snowed under the assignments via deadlines given me through my gadgets in daily. (Poor English) I only wish the world have a machine time which I can travel to witness how great life in 2030 would be. (The assignment gives you this time machine.) Nevertheless, I am still comfortable at the moment although I have never fostered huge achievements for myself. I realize that the true definition of life is not wealthy or fame. On the contrast, the final value of life is to enjoy everything we have as the way we want. I mean that instead of struggling against the fierce world, until we are old, we have to step back to find out the peace in our soul. Perhaps, some individuals believed when they hold the world in their hand or become a superhero with applauses via the power to manipulate everything which they are dying to get is real happiness. We wondered ourselves whether it exist forever or not. In the end, what it boils down is live happily with all of the people we love. I feel fortunate because I have a great family staying with me every day. Give them my regards in the future. I will be over the moon if they keep their health well and live happier than ever. They sacrificed their youth, blood, sweat and tears to give the fullness. Help me take care of them. Furthermore, let spend more time to have a chat with them or have a voyage together. They have always dreamed of travelling once in a lifetime. Honestly, stay by them as soon as you can. Come rain or shine, the family is the best. Besides, I wonder whether you have a soulmate for yourself or not? To me, there were several times I have fallen in the unrequited love. I remembered that last few weeks, I failed to show my love to him again. Maybe I have not loved myself yet. I have not still been patient to wait. Somethings urged me to say all feeling with him and also end the chaos in my mind as soon as possible. Fussing over one person who is not concerned about my existence, all of which make me not to be myself anymore. Day by day, I lost my way. This consequence deserves for my tenacious. I expect you will find a person loving you than you love yourself and never repeat this mistake. Holding things which not belong to you is in vain. You go your way, they go their ways. You deserve to have many glorious things. I am looking forward to seeing one day when you receive this letter. (The letter will never be received. ) Finally, I just have one message for you: "Love everyone, love yourself and love myself". Take care!

Sincerely,

Ivy

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Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic: Imagine what an ideal world ten years from now would be like. Write a letter from yourself in 2030 to your present (2020) self, in which you describe the state of the world, the way people are living, and what you, yourself, are doing in society

My essay:

(Your text here...)
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