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These days, the development of modern medical facilities have brought values to the world which enables people to lengthen their life span. Although this trend is not without disadvantages, the advantages will be more significant.


Opponents of this trend would argue that living longer may bring some downsides. This may be true to some extent that increasing life expectancy may escalate the older population and they are a weight for society. This means that there would be a sum of money paid to take care of the elderly. Moreover, some of them consider that since they do not have plenty of time to look after their old parents, the issue of living longer might be difficult for these children.


However, the merits of improved medical care obviously outweigh than its drawbacks. First, there is no denying that thanks to the advanced of medical aids, the health of society might be reinforced. This means people could pay to enjoy the benefits of medical care in case they suffer from diseases. Secondly, it is clear to say that owing to advanced medical facilities, humans might have health check-ups on a regular basis. Without it, it would be hard for people to be diagnosed with diseases; therefore, they might be prone to be involved in diseases soon and more seriously and cannot prepare a proper plan to treat these problems. Thus, high-grade medical care would support people to stay more healthy and extend life span.


In conclusion, although advanced medical aids are considered to have both pros and cons, I strongly believe that the values it brings to human are more remarkable than its disadvantages. Only by developing medical care could human live longer, healthily and happily.

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Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic: Improved medical health helps people live longer, increase life expantancy (This is incorrect. Please copy the topic exactly.

My essay:

(Your text here...)
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These days, the development of modern medical facilities (Do you mean building hospitals?) have brought values (not a good word choice) to the world which enables people to lengthen their life span. (People have no control over how long they will live. This is not what you meant to say.) Although this trend (not a good word choice. You did not describe a trend.) is not without disadvantages, the advantages will be more significant.


Opponents of this trend would argue that living longer may bring some downsides. This may be true to some extent that increasing life expectancy may escalate (wrong word) the older population and they are a weight (wrong word) for society. This means that there would be a sum of money paid to take care of the elderly. Moreover, some of them (Do the elderly people take care of their parents? ) consider that since they do not have plenty of time to look after their old parents, the issue of living longer might be difficult for these children. (You are talking about the elderly.)


However, the merits of improved medical care obviously outweigh than (wrong word) its drawbacks. First, there is no denying that thanks to the advanced (wrong word) of medical aids, (wrong word) the health of society might be reinforced. (wrong word) This means people could pay to enjoy the benefits of medical care in case they suffer from diseases. Secondly, Second, it is clear to say that owing to advanced medical facilities, humans (wrong word) might have health check-ups on a regular basis. Without it, it would be hard for people to be diagnosed with diseases; therefore, they might be prone to be involved in (wrong expression) diseases soon and more seriously and cannot prepare a proper plan to treat them. these problems. Thus, high-grade medical care (I thought you were writing about facilities like clinics and hospitals.) would support people to stay more healthy and extend life span.


In conclusion, although advanced medical aids (wrong word) are considered to have both pros and cons, I strongly believe that the values it brings to human (wrong word) are more remarkable than its disadvantages. Only by developing medical care could human (wrong word) live longer, healthily and happily.