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In several parts of the world, there is currently a lack of students selecting science as their major subject in Universities and Colleges. This problem happens because of some reasons, and it is likely to lead to some negative effects on society.

There are several causes of the shortage of tertiary students enrolling in science subjects. Firstly, in order to achieve good results in science subjects, students have to attempt to make an effort and devote a large amount of time to study. This leads to the time limitation of students and for this reason, students will not have enough time for their personal preference or can relax to diminish stress. For instance, my friend, who studying General Medicine at the University of Medicine, frequently told me that she spent most of her time immersed in doing research, and experiments in the laboratory. Hence, she rarely has enough spare time to enjoy her private life. Secondly, job opportunities for graduated with science qualifications, always lower than in other fields such as economics, finance, or banking. As a result, high school students feel not as much of interested in choosing science as their major when they fill out their college application form.

Some severe impacts might be caused by the insufficient number of science students in higher education on society. Because of the dearth of students learning science, the result from this consequence is there is will be a shortage of human resources in this industry. Therefore, harmful impacts on the life of the whole community will be significantly affected. For example, in recent years, fewer scholars selecting to study Medical as their major, which causes insufficient doctors and medical supplies for hospitals across the country. As a consequence, Viet Nam has to face plenty of problems when the covid pandemic spreading widely in the community. Despite the fact that job vacancies are limited in others kinds of fields apart from science such as economics, finance, and marketing, the number of students in these major becomes more increasing day by day. This leads to a rising in the unemployment scale in economically related industries.

In conclusion, a lack of students choosing the field of science when entering tertiary education is caused by several factors, and this problem brings about serious consequences on the community.

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Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic:

In many countries, not enough students are choosing to study science. What are causes? What will be effects on society?


My essay:

(Your text here...)
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In several parts of the world, there is currently a lack of students selecting science as their major subject in Universities and Colleges. (These are not proper nouns.) This problem happens because these subjects are very difficult and job openings are infrequent. of some reasons, (That is so vague as to be meaningless. Give a phrase that indicates the reasons you are planning to discuss. ) and it is likely to lead to some negative effects (Likewise, this is too fuzzy. Introduce your argument.) on society.

There are several two main causes of this shortage of tertiary students enrolling in science subjects. (Avoid repetition and use demonstrative adjectives.) Firstly, First, in order to achieve good results in science subjects, students have to attempt to make an effort and (too wordy. Be direct ) devote a large (Higher level and more academic: an inordinate) amount of time and effort to their studies. study. This leads to the time limitation of free time for these students and for this reason, students will not have enough time for the activities they enjoy most, their personal preference or can relaxation to diminish stress. For instance, my friend, who studying (wrong verb form) General Medicine at the University of Medicine, frequently told me that she spent most of her time immersed in doing research, (wrong comma) and experiments in the laboratory. Hence, she rarely has enough spare time to enjoy socializing with her friends. private life. Secondly, Second, job opportunities for graduated (wrong form - graduated is an adjective.) with science qualifications,(wrong comma) always lower (missing verb) than in other fields such as economics, finance, or banking. As a result, high school students feel not (wrong verb form) as much (wrong word) of very interested in choosing science as their major when they fill out their college application form.

Some severe impacts on society might be caused by the insufficient number of science students in higher education on society. (wrong position of phrase) Because of the dearth of students learning science,(repetitious. You just said this.) the result from this consequence (wrong expression) The primary one is that there is will be a shortage of human resources in this industry. (What industry are you thinking of. Scientists are used in many different industries.) Therefore, harmful impacts on the life of the whole community will be significantly affected. (wrong statement "impacts are affected" makes no sense..) For example, in recent years, fewer scholars selecting to study Medical (Medical is an adjective. Wrong usage.) as their major, which causes insufficient doctors and medical supplies (That does not make sense.) for hospitals across the country. As a consequence, Viet Nam has (wrong verb form) to face plenty of (too casual. Do not use "plenty of" in academic writing.) problems when the covid pandemic spreading (wrong verb form) widely in the community. (You need to develop this idea further. What happens when there are not enough medical professionals? Develop your good ideas more rather than presenting new ideas. ) Despite the fact that job vacancies are limited in others (wrong form) kinds of fields apart from science such as economics, finance, and marketing, the number of students in these major (wrong form) becomes more increasing (wrong expression) day by day. This leads to a rising in the unemployment scale (wrong word) in economically related industries.

In conclusion, a lack of students choosing the field of science when entering tertiary education is caused by several factors, (too vague) and this causes the shortage of skilled professionals such as doctors. problem brings about serious consequences on the community.