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In recent years, an increasing number of people emigrate to metropolis for further career but they entirely have to face a fundamental dilemma, which is accomodation. Whether newcomers find it essential to dwell in their own home or renting a department is still a tough nut to crack. I am totally concur with the former idea.

To begin with, owning a home absolutely brings myriad of unforeseeable merits. The inhabitants do not have to obey the rule on which the landlord has imposed when they own a home. For instance, their private shelter can be freely well-decorated with their own style without any complaints. This will generate relaxing atmosphere and also peaceful corner, which have a concerted contribution to build up an ideal place to live. Equally importantly, buying a house is believe to be a crucial movement which set a basement for future plan. This will promptly help the owners to concentrate on their career without worrying about their accomodation.

At the same time, citizens perceive renting as an annoying and costly method. One explanation for this is that the bill they paid might just be a drop in the ocean at first, however, this amount will constantly increase throughout the year. Coupled with this, people have to face myriad of social issue. Take the neighborhood as an example, the noise from the neighbors invariably disturb other's private life, which can lead to endless conflict.

By the way of conclusion, i believe that owning a home must be an effective way to balance the walk of life.

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We cannot evaluate your "Task completion" if we do not know the task you were given.

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In recent years, an increasing number of people emigrate to metropolis (This means they were born in e.g. Columbia, and leave that country to live in a new country, named "Metropolis." I have not heard of this country. Is that what you mean? How does that relate to the topic? ) for further career (I think you meant the verb. "to further their career" but is does not make sense.) but they entirely (wrong usage) have to face a fundamental dilemma, which is accomodation. (wrong spelling) Whether newcomers find it essential to dwell (not a good word choice) in their own home or renting a department (wrong word) is still a tough nut to crack. (Not an appropriate expression) I am totally concur (wrong verb form) with the former idea. (You did not answer the question: Is this a positive or negative situation? The essay topic is: in some countries, people prefer to buy a house rather than to rent one. You did not write on that topic. You wrote an essay on the advantages of owning a house rather than renting. You essay missed the topic, so you will lose a lot of points for "task completion." )

To begin with, owning a home absolutely brings myriad (not a good word choice) of unforeseeable merits. (not a good word choice) The inhabitants (not a good word choice) do not have to obey the rule (Is there only one rule?) on which the landlord has imposed when they own a home. (Do landlords have rules for homeowners?) For instance, their private shelter (not a good word choice. A shelter is where you go to escape a storm.) can be freely well-decorated with their own style without any complaints. This will generate a relaxing atmosphere and also peaceful corner, (not a good word choice) which have a concerted contribution to build up (i don't know what you mean.) an ideal place to live. Equally importantly, buying a house is believe (wrong form) to be a crucial movement which set (wrong form) a basement (wrong word) for future plan. This will promptly (not a good word choice) help the owners to concentrate on their careers without worrying about their accomodation.

At the same time, citizens (not a good word choice) perceive renting as an annoying and costly method. One explanation for this is that the bill they paid might just be a drop in the ocean (Not an appropriate expression) at first, (comma splice error, ungrammatical sentence) however, this amount will constantly increase throughout the year. Coupled with this, people have to face myriad (not a good word choice) of social issue. (wrong form) Take the neighborhood as an example, (comma splice error, ungrammatical sentence) the noise from the neighbors invariably disturb (wrong form) other's private lives, which can lead to endless conflict.

By the way of conclusion, i (That is very bad!)believe that owning a home must be an effective way to balance the walk of life. (Not an appropriate expression. You did not answer the essay topic.)


Myriad means so many that it is absolutely impossible to count them. Here is an example.

In the springtime, the hills are covered with a myriad of wildflowers.

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Comments  

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Write at least 250 words

 AlpheccaStars's reply was promoted to an answer.
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