Many youngsters all over the world tend to give up school while not being competent to gain jobs. This trend informs plenty of detrimental effects not only for themselves but for society and there are always a variety of methods to cope with the unemployment rate of youth.

Obviously, the enormous number of unemployed youngsters will be a huge burden for the internal economy. While the unemployed do not have enough financial conditions for daily life, the state budget needs to inject money through
unemployed relief for harsh circumstances. As a result, building new facilities by the government will soon be out of bounds, causing a drop in the economy. On the flip side, criminals are now growing partly due to the unemployed.

The principal method for youth is not to cancel school until they have learned enough skills. This issue is straightforwardly approached from an intuitive perspective since many enterprises hire individuals who have essential knowledge and ensure that they could accomplish the task effectively. Therefore, instead of seeking opportunities too early in the workplace, having a diploma to guarantee a brighter chance might be better. Ultimately, the high dropout rate is also a signal for the government to engage some supporting education policies, especially in universities where the tuition is not affordable easily.

Dropping out of school too soon is an unwise decision of the majority of students that might make them have no job and also do harm to the economy. That is why choosing the accurate school and industry at the first stage is always pivotal.

Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line.
Put it with your answer in the message body.

Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic: Copy the essay instructions accurately here. You did not post the complete instructions, so put them in a reply or comment.

My essay:

(Your text here...)

Công Thànhyoungsters

In the US, a "youngster" is a child aged 7-12. It is also an informal word, used in humorous contexts. I would avoid it for IELTS essays.

Công Thànhgain jobs

That is not a good collocation. Obtain a job, get a job, or informally "land a job".

Công ThànhThis trend informs plenty of detrimental effects

The task does not describe a "trend." A trend is something that is increasing or decreasing in frequency or popularity.

"Informs" is not good here.

"Plenty of" is very informal or casual. Avoid this in IELTS

Công Thànhand there are always a variety of methods

You need a contrasting conjunction; otherwise the sentence is not very logical.

Teachers: We supply a list of EFL job vacancies

Thank you for giving me lots of valuable advices. I will learn from my mistakes and hope that I could do better in the future. Thank you so much.