One day, whether studying at home with modern technology or at traditional schools is pupils' decision, but it is now raising a debate between everyone. From my point of view, the later is better.
On the one hand, such schools are extremely beneficial. Firstly, the studying is more effective at school. Students can have a face-to-face discussion with their teachers, can be supervised thoroughly and do not be distracted there. Secondly, schools are great places to maintain interpersonal relationships. At schools, pupils are able to meet other people and befriend with those who have the same interests as them, Finally, traditional schools also have extra-curricular activities such as field trips, clubs and voluntary work. Via these activities, youngsters learn valuable lessons from life.

On the other hand, I prefer the later to the former due to several drawbacks of technology. To begin with, looking at the computer or phone constantly may lead to some health problems. At first, they are just slight symptoms, but gradually, they will become more serious ones like myopia, depression, and so on. Moreover, this might be a problem to poor students, who can hardly afford a computer. Inadequacy of devices might worsen the studying of these children.

In conclusion, I think traditional schools will still play an essential role in the future due to its aforementioned advantages, and students should only choose to study at home with technology as an extra way of learning.

One day, whether studying at home with modern technology or at traditional schools is pupils' decision, but it is now raising a debate between everyone. From my point of view, the later is better.
On the one hand, such schools are extremely beneficial. Firstly, the studying is more effective at school. Students can have a face-to-face discussion with their teachers, can be supervised thoroughly and do not be distracted there. Secondly, schools are great places to maintain interpersonal relationships. At schools, pupils are able to meet other people and befriend with those who have the same interests as them, Finally, traditional schools also have extra-curricular activities such as field trips, clubs and voluntary work. Via these activities, youngsters learn valuable lessons from life.

On the other hand, I prefer the later to the former due to several drawbacks of technology. To begin with, looking at the computer or phone constantly may lead to some health problems. At first, they are just slight symptoms, but gradually, they will become more serious ones like myopia, depression, and so on. Moreover, this might be a problem to poor students, who can hardly afford a computer. Inadequacy of devices might worsen the studying of these children.

In conclusion, I think traditional schools will still play an essential role in the future due to its aforementioned advantages, and students should only choose to study at home with technology as an extra way of learning.


Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line.
Put it with your answer in the message body.

Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:


Topic: In the future, students may have the choice of studying at home by using technology such as computers or television or of studying at tradition schools. Which would you prefer? Use specific details to explain your opinion.


My essay:

(Your text here...)
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Students: We have free audio pronunciation exercises.

You did not write the minimum word count (250), so you will lose points. Aim for 270, well about the minimum, but not too long.

Next, your opening paragraph is not good. Learners memorize "debate" or "controversy" or "argument" and put that in an opinion essay. This is not rewarded by the examiner. You must write a sentence that convinces the examiner that you understand the task.


One day, (wrong expression) whether studying at home with modern technology or at traditional schools is pupils' (not a good word choice.) decision, but it is now raising a debate between everyone. (That is not good. Memorized response.) From my point of view, the later (wrong word - later refers to time.) is better.


On the one hand, such schools with classrooms and teachers are extremely beneficial. Firstly, First, learning the studying is more effective at school. Students can have a face-to-face discussion with their teachers, can be supervised thoroughly and do not be (Wrong verb form) distracted there. Secondly, Second, schools are great places to maintain interpersonal relationships. At schools, pupils are able to meet other people and befriend with those who have the same interests as them, Finally, traditional schools also have extra-curricular activities such as field trips, clubs and voluntary work. Via these activities, youngsters learn valuable lessons from life.(Do not randomly use words that are somewhat synonymous. If you do not know the proper contexts for them, your essay will not have coherence. Pupils, students and youngsters are not synonyms. )

On the other hand, the virtual classroom, taking classes from home, also has merits. , I prefer the later (wrong word) to the former due to several drawbacks of technology. (Do not write your opinion in the body paragraph. The purpose of a body paragraph is to present arguments for your opinion. Your opinion is voiced in the opening paragraph.) To begin with, looking at the computer or phone constantly may lead to some health problems. At first, they are just slight symptoms, but gradually, they will become more serious ones like myopia, and depression, and so on. (Do not use "..." or "etc." or phrases like "and so on" in formal essays.) Moreover, this might be a problem to poor students, who can hardly afford a computer. Inadequacy of devices might worsen the studying of these children.

In conclusion, I think traditional schools will still play an essential role in the future due to its aforementioned (Never use this word! Use pronouns, as you have. ) advantages, and students should only choose to study at home with technology as an extra a supplementary way of learning.