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It is believed that online reading sources become predominant and gradually replace printed newspapers and books on the grounds that people want to approach information without paying. The following paragraphs will support this statement.

Firstly, online materials will contribute to solving money-wasting problems. The reason is that people can effortlessly find reliable sources through the Internet and download them in a matter of second. Indeed, they will store a wide range of e-books or materials in their smartphone or laptop and bring to their workplace. In contrast, if people prefer to use printed books, they will spend a huge amount of money on buying them as well as a number of time on choosing the most suitable book’s type. Therefore, workers and students can stand a golden chance of saving money and time for printing all kinds of favorite books or buying authentic books in stores.

Besides that, reading online is completely up to date and effortlessly accessible for everyone. This is because nowadays more and more synonymous book brands upload their products on their website which people can get access without difficulties. In this case, it will be very smooth for them to download and update information weekly even every morning. For example, instead of purchasing newspaper in stores, people can read newspaper easily thanks to their smartphone’s daily online newspaper apps. Moreover, recent audio books and online materials also have a variety of types and contents leading to readers’ comfort to choose. Thus, it will create students more invaluable opportunities to approach precise and various source of knowledge and boost their score at school.

In conclusion, although printed books used to be popular and useful in the past, they cost a huge amount of money to possess. Therefore, people need to choose online reading with an eye to save money and own budget.

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Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic: In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying

The instructions are incomplete. We cannot give full feedback if you do not provide all the instructions.

My essay:

(Your text here...)
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It is believed that online reading sources become predominant and gradually replace printed newspapers and books on the grounds that people want to approach information (bad collocation. ) without paying. The following paragraphs will support this statement. (Delete this. Never refer to your writing. Give your opinion, and support it in the body paragraphs.)

Firstly, First, online materials will contribute to solving money-wasting problems. (unnatural expression. Also, you do not explain what these problems are.) The reason is that people can effortlessly find reliable sources through the Internet and download them in a matter of second. (wrong form) Indeed, they will store a wide range of e-books or materials in their smartphone or laptop and bring to their workplace. (Most employers do not like people to read books instead of doing their tasks. Your argument is not very logical.) In contrast, if people prefer to use printed books, they will spend a huge significant amount of money on buying them as well as a number of time (wrong expression) on choosing the most suitable book’s type. (poor expression - unnatural) Therefore, workers and students can stand a golden chance of saving money and time for printing (Most people do not print their own books.) all kinds of favorite books or buying authentic (wrong word) books in stores.

Besides that, reading online is completely up to date (wrong expression) and effortlessly accessible for everyone. This is because nowadays more and more synonymous (wrong word) book brands (wrong word) upload their products on their website which (wrong word) people can get access without difficulties. In this case, it will be very smooth for them to download and update (wrong word) information weekly even every morning. (Books do not change every week! Authors spend a lot of time writing a book and then getting it published. ) For example, instead of purchasing newspaper (wrong form) in stores, people can read newspaper (wrong form) easily thanks to their smartphone’s daily online newspaper apps. Moreover, recent audio books and online materials also have a variety of types and contents leading to readers’ comfort to choose. (Awkward) Thus, it will create students more invaluable opportunities for students to approach precise and various source of knowledge (wrong collocation) and boost their score at school.

In conclusion, although printed books used to be popular and useful in the past, they cost a huge (Huge and big are baby words. They are very low level and not really good for academic writing.) amount of money to possess. Therefore, people need to choose online reading with an eye to save money and own budget. (wrong expression)

Comments  

Some comments:

1- What was the exact essay question/prompt? Was it about agreeing/disagreeing with the given statement?

2- You have some good ideas, but you need to organize them better than that. For example, you need to elaborate/explain how online reading can be cheaper. For example, talk about the costs of production, transport, retail, etc.

3- Avoid waffle and repetition. The examiner wants to see that you can come up with creative, relevant and convincing ideas and that you can express them in concise sentences. Try also to give examples; you will get better marks that way.

You might also want to take a look at my reply in the link below to learn about how to structure an essay and a paragraph.

https://www.englishforums.com/English/EssayAgreeDisagreeYoungEnjoyLife-Older/bjnlwx/post.htm

 AlpheccaStars's reply was promoted to an answer.